


The Right Swipe

by redisriding



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:27:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 64,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27081904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redisriding/pseuds/redisriding
Summary: You never know who you might find on the latest dating app, "Swipe."Modern AU Fanfic.
Relationships: Elain Archeron/Azriel, Elain Archeron/Lucien Vanserra, Feyre Archeron/Rhysand, Feyre Archeron/Tamlin, Nesta Archeron/Cassian
Comments: 127
Kudos: 312





	1. Prologue

“Come on Nesta!”

“Just for fun!”

“Humour us.”

“You never know who you might meet.”

Nesta rolled her eyes at her sisters’ cajoling, taking a bite of pizza, “I’m not looking to meet anyone right now.”

“It doesn’t have to be a serious thing. Don’t you think it would be nice to go on some dates? Get back on the horse, so to speak.” 

“Get back on the dick, you mean,” Feyre rebutted. 

Elain giggled, “Well if the guy is very well endowed it might be like a hor—“

“ELAIN!” Feyre shrieked, grabbing a cushion off the sofa and throwing it at Elain. 

Nesta took another bite of her pizza to hide her laughter. Her two sisters were drunk. Nesta had been late getting out of work, and when she had arrived at Feyre’s apartment the two of them had already sunk a bottle of wine while they waited on her to arrive. 

It had been like that a lot recently, Elain and Feyre waiting on her to leave work. If she was able to leave at all. More often than Nesta wanted to admit, she was forced to call her sisters and cancel their plans only to realise that it was more than an hour after they had agreed to meet. There was so much going on in their lives that she was missing out on, which was why, this evening, she had been determined to leave her office on time. She still left 40 minutes later than she had planned, but at least she had made it, and before the pizza arrived too.

It had been too long since the three of them had had a good catch up about their lives, and Nesta wasted no time in filling them in on what had been going on in her life. Namely, her breakup with her longterm fiancé Thomas. 

Things with Thomas hadn’t ended badly. They’d just ended. 

They had been together for eight years, and engaged for five of those years. With no wedding on the horizon, and both of them more focused on their individual careers than building a life together, they had gone to brunch one morning and decided to break up over mimosas. Thomas had moved out a week later. 

Her two sisters, who had seemed less than surprised when she broke the news, were now trying to convince Nesta to download Swipe, a dating app they were both enjoying. 

“Please Nesta, just let us set you up a profile so we can have some fun tonight. You can delete it in the morning.”

“Yes Nesta, please. You don’t have to meet anyone, we can just spend our evening objectifying men.” Feyre said, with a sincere face, that did not match her words. 

“You two are ridiculous, you know that?” Nesta said with a smile.

“Oh we know, but you love us,’ Elain chirped. 

“That I do…okay fine, one night of objectifying men, but I’m deleting it the moment I leave this apartment.” 

“Deal!”

“Hand over you phone, Archeron,” Feyre said with a wiggle of her eyebrow. 

Nesta sighed, pulling her phone from her pocket she reluctantly handed it over to her sisters, who sat on the sofa opposite her grinning from ear to ear. 

As soon as the app had downloaded, Feyre and Elain put their heads together and began building Nesta’s profile. 

“I want final veto on any of the photos that you choose,” she said getting nervous, as they whispered. 

“Why don’t you come over here and help us?” Elain asked. 

“I don’t really know what I’m doing, you guys are the experts.”

“Hardly.” Feyre said with a snort. 

“Wait, you guys should let me see your profiles, its only fair.” 

“Sure,” Feyre picked up her phone off the coffee table between them and tossed it to Nesta, “just don’t swipe on anyone, you’ll mess up the algorithm.”

Nesta picked Feyre’s phone up from where it landed on the couch beside her, keying in the passcode, she scrolled through the mess of apps that was Feyre’s home screen before she located the little red hearted icon of Swipe. 

It took her a moment to find Feyre’s profile, she didn’t want to click on the wrong thing and accidentally betroth her sister to anyone. 

Feyre’s profile had six pictures to swipe through. The first, Nesta thought, captured her essence perfectly. Paintbrush in hand, she stood beside an easel laughing at something out of the view of the camera. She had blue paint smeared across her nose, but she looked radiant. The other photos included a picture at her final year art show, one with her friends, her graduation, a selfie, and the last one was her in a bikini on the beach. 

Neither too cutesy or overtly sexual, she looked like the perfect ‘girl next door.’ It was the accompanying bio however that had Nesta choking on her wine. 

_Feyre. 24. Fine art graduate working in a coffee shop, my parents would be so proud…if they weren’t dead_. 

“Feyre!” Nesta explained, looking up at her sister, bewildered, “our parents are not dead!” 

“Mom is.”

“Yeah, but Dad isn’t.”

“He might as well be. When is the last time you’ve seen him?”

Nesta sighed, of all of them, Feyre had the worst relationship with their father, but it wasn’t something she wanted to get into right now. Not when they were having such a lovely evening chatting and laughing together as sisters should. It wasn’t always this easy. 

“Let’s see your profile, Elain,” she asked instead, moving the conversation away from their contentious father. 

Elain handed her phone over with a shy smile. 

Nesta brought up Elain’s profile. 

The pictures were all of Elain in sundresses, in one she held a bouquet of flowers, another she sat under a tree, in the final one she held a glass a wine as she smiled across the table at whoever had taken the photo. It was as close to racy as Elain got. 

Her bio read:

 _Elain. 26. School teacher. I enjoy gardening in summer and curling up in front of the fire in winter_. 

“So what kind of vibe will my profile be?” Nesta asked cautiously. 

“Beautiful, bad bitch,” Feyre said with a smirk. 

“I’m not sure how to take that?”

“Its meant as a compliment.”

“Come see,” Elain said patting the space on the sofa beside her. 

Nesta drained what was left of her wine, and scrambled off the coach she was stretched out on, to join her sisters. 

She plonked herself down in between them, forcing their heads apart so she could see what pictures they were selecting. 

“Oh gosh no, you can’t use that one?” She exclaimed. The picture was one that Thomas had taken of her while they were on holiday the previous year. She had been wearing a teeny tiny bikini that she had hoped might ignite the passion in their relationship again.

“Why not?” Elain asked.

“Its a great picture,” Feyre added.

“My boobs are fully out,”

“If you’ve got it, flaunt it,” Feyre said, giving her a nudge. 

“That’s still too much. What about this one?” She asked, pointing to a professional picture she had taken when she was first called to the Bar. 

“Nesta no, this is not your CorporateLink profile, you need something a bit more…”

“Sexy,” Elain finished. 

“Your profile, isn’t sexy though?” Nesta said, before she thought to stop herself. 

The hurt that flashed across Elain’s face had Nesta’s stomach twisting, “My profile is sexy.”

Nesta quickly scrambled fix what she said. “Your profile is sweet and feminine, and you look beautiful, but its’ not tits out sex appeal.”

“Well…that’s true,” Elain said with a small sigh, her shoulders slumped but she gave Nesta a reassuring smile. 

“Guuuurrrlllll, look at this selfie you took,” Feyre said on a purr, interrupting the moment. She turned the phone towards Nesta and Elain. 

Nesta felt herself blush at the photo, “I was just finished in the gym…I felt good.”

“You look good,” replied Elain. 

“We’re using this one. Guys, love a girl who goes to the gym, it reminds them of other ways they like to get hot and sweaty.”

“Okay,” Nesta conceded, “you can use that one.”

“Wonderful, then we’re all set.” 

Nesta took the phone off Feyre and flicked through the photos she had chosen. Three of the pictures were ones Nesta had posted on her Photogram, she knew she looked good, dressed in tight body con dresses and heels, her makeup perfect. It wasn’t who she was everyday but these guys didn’t need to know that. There were two bikini pictures from holidays in the past few years, neither were the tiny bikini, and Nesta had to admit they were tasteful yet suggestive. The final one was the mirror selfie from the gym…

Feyre had set the bio as, 

_Nesta. 28. Lawyer. If you want a queen, earn one. If you want a whore, buy me three shots of tequila_. 

Nesta burst out laughing. 

Elain leaned in to read what had been written, “Feyre!”

“It will get the guys’ attention.”

“It sure will.”

“You know I’m deleting this in the morning,” Nesta said. 

“Doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun tonight.”

“True..so how does it work?”

Feyre took the phone from her, closing the profile page, and a picture of a guy appeared. He was standing on a deck, beer in hand, barbecuing. He was shirtless and his brown skin was covered in swirling tattoos that ran across his broad shoulders and down his arms. His body was hard but his face was kind, as he smiled brightly at the camera. 

“You swipe left for no, and right for yes. If you both swipe yes then you’re able to message each other.”

“Okay, that seems simple enough.”

“It is.”

Feyre handed the phone back to Nesta who fumbled it before catching it upside down. The shirtless barbecuer disappeared, “Ah, what did I do?”

“You swiped up.”

“What does that do?”

“It’s a mega-match.” 

“And that means…?”

“That they can see that you liked them and want to start a conversation.”


	2. Chapter One

It was the steady chiming of notifications that woke Nesta. First, bringing her slowly to consciousness. Then, inciting enough panic in her just-waking mind, to cause her to bolt upright in the bed with fear.

Grabbing her phone off her bedside locker, knocking a number of items to the floor in the process, she rubbed her eyes into focus. The notifications were still pinging at regular intervals, but as Nesta peered at the screen, they weren’t from work as she had thought. 

No. The notifications appeared beside the app with the little red heart icon. Swipe. 

Nesta groaned, her head starting pound, as the previous night slowly began to come back to her. 

Telling her sisters about Thomas. Them convincing her to download Swipe. Her necking half a bottle of wine to get as drunk as they were. Her swiping tentatively on men she found attractive. Feyre putting on a power ballad playlist, and the three of them dancing around her living room belting out the hits. Collapsing on the coach in fits of laughter. Swapping phones and swiping for men for each other - the people closest to you know what you need better than you do, after all. 

Feyre had passed out on the couch at some point, and after checking that she was okay and covering her with a blanket, Elaina and Nesta had stumbled to their respective homes. 

Nesta had had a great night with her sisters. She promised herself that she wouldn’t let it go so long this time, before they did it again. 

But Nesta hadn’t been very good at sticking to her promises recently.

Like last night when she promised herself that she would delete Swipe this morning, but as she lay back down in her bed, curiosity got the better of her and she decided she just had to see who she had matched with. 

She opened the app and clicked through to her messages. There were…a lot. Clearly her sisters had been liberal about who they had swiped right for, but Nesta had to give it to them, they had found her some handsome men. 

And how flattering that they appeared to like her back. She had been out of the dating game for so long that it was a boost for her confidence. 

Replying to a few couldn’t hurt…

—————

Elain stood in front of the mirror and looked at herself. Fresh from the shower and wrapped in a white towel she was physically clean. The hot water had washed away the griminess that she felt the morning after she drank alcohol. However the water failed to get rid of the disgusting feeling she felt whenever she looked at herself. 

Dropping her towel she began to examine her body. Her skin was flushed pink from the hot water but it would cool to a cream colour that was neither pale enough to be porcelain nor dark enough to be tanned, it just was. 

Her face was pretty enough, but she always made sure to wear makeup when she left the house. Or when she was in the house. On the chance that someone might ring the doorbell. 

Her hair that was now wrapped in a towel usually hung limply to her shoulders. She curled it to give it some volume. 

Her shoulder, she supposed, were nice. Delicate, feminine. She always wore dresses that showed that showed off her collar bones. 

It was everything below that that she hated.

Elain sighed as she took herself in Her sisters were so womanly and beautiful, Nesta with her big boobs, curvy hips and tiny waist. She had the kind of body that never went out of fashion. Feyre was stronger and leaner, but she wouldn’t look out of place on the cover of the swimsuit issue of IllustratedAthletes. Elain didn’t know how she was related to such beauties when she herself looked like a pre-pubescent boy. 

She cupped her non-existent breasts, her nipples so small and pale she didn’t think any man could ever desire them. She continued her assessment. Her ribs poked roughly out through her skin, but her stomach remained pudgy, as it bulged just above her public bone. Maybe if she could lose her tummy, she could be that delicate kind of pretty that came with being extremely thin. 

She turned to examine her ass, or lack there of, and what a shame since it was all the rage these days. She would need to do more squats. Her claves and ankles were sufficient. As were her arms. Although she had once overheard a woman at work say that her arms looked like twigs. 

Elain was tired of people passing comment on her body. 

She could never be what they wanted her to be. No matter how hard she had tried. 

And she had tried. 

The only man she had ever been with, Grayson, used to make comments about her body. That her stomach was bloated, that her thighs were rubbing together, or her arms flabby. He would tell her to leave her shirt on while they had sex, he’d turn the lights off, or, the one that upset Elain the most, he’d only take her from behind because he told her that her face was too old to look at. 

So she had plucked and scrubbed, waxed and buffed, bought expensive face creams, and spent hours in the gym.

All to be what he had wanted her to be. 

To be good enough for him. 

And in the end, when she failed, he left her. 

That had been two years ago. Elain hadn’t been with a man since. 

No man would want her now anyway.

Turning away from the mirror she quickly put on underwear and pulled on a floral print dress. She loved her floral dresses, they compensated for her lack of womanliness in her body and made her feel feminine. 

She was just taking the towel from her hair when the notification popped up on her phone. A new match had sent her a message on Swipe. 

Elain felt the butterflies flutter in her stomach, as they always did when she got a notification from match.

Opening Swipe she clicked into the profile of the guy who messaged her. 

_Lucien. 30. Polo player. New to Velaris and need to know some good spots to eat._

Flicking through his photos, Elain had to admit he was handsome. Tall and broad he had dark tanned skin and long red hair. An unusual combination but one that clearly worked for the man. One close up picture of his face, revealed some scaring around his eye, but nevertheless he looked kind.

She clicked into the message he sent her. 

> **Good morning Elain, how are you doing today?**

It was simple. Polite. Infinitely more positive than the men who messaged her to make crass comments about her appearance or what they might like to do with her. 

Elain felt her stomach flip again as she stared down at the message. 

With a self-satisfied smile to herself, she began typing a reply. 

————— 

Feyre was too hungover to be in work. She had woken up that morning on her couch - covered in a blanket that her sisters had clearly thrown over her before leaving the night before - with a severe crick in her neck. Sitting up, massaging her shoulder, she took stock of her sitting room. The empty wine bottles, crumpled pizza boxes, cushions strewn everywhere. The aftermath might have been a big mess for her to clean up but she had had a great night with her sisters. 

Now she stood at the cash register staring down a long queue of waiting customers, while her brain thumped in her skull.

“I’m taking a break,” she called to Nuala before turning and walking away from her till. 

“Hey!” Cerridwen called after her, “Come back here! You can’t just walk away like that we’re swamped.”

Feyre ignored the grumbles of the two managers as she headed through the kitchen and ducked out the back door. The cool autumn air hit her and she breathed in deeply. 

The smell of coffee inside was doing nothing to help her stomach, she thought, as she felt the cold slice of pizza she had grabbed on the way out the door this morning churn in her stomach. 

Shimming down the wall to sit on the cold concrete ground, Feyre pulled her phone from the back pocket of her jeans. 

She had a new notification on Swipe. 

Clicking open the app her eyes bulged when she saw the handsome man who had sent her a message. 

He was tall and tanned with long blonde hair. His photos showed him partaking in a number of outdoor pursuits including horse riding and shooting, but one picture was him all dressed up wearing a tux and a masquerade mask. 

Feyre felt her body respond as she clicked open his bio. 

_Tamlin. 33. Not looking for anything serious…just a wife ;)_

Feyre snorted. Good looking and funny, he appeared almost too good to be true. 

She opened the message he had sent her. 

> **Hello beautiful Feyre. What are you doing tonight?**

Feyre typed out a reply

> **Not much, I need to clean my apartment after last night :(**

He messaged back almost instantly

> **Wild night? ;)**
> 
> **I got drunk with my sisters, things got a bit messy haha**
> 
> **Sounds fun. How many sisters do you have?**
> 
> **It was! Regretting it this morning though haha. I have two.**
> 
> **Hungover? Nice, older or younger?**
> 
> **Yeah…and I’m in work this morning :( Both older.**
> 
> **Aww poor baby Feyre, hungover in work only to go home and clean up after up after your sisters.**
> 
> **I know, how unfair?! :(**
> 
> **Sounds almost like a fairytale - Cinderella. You’re missing something though…**
> 
> **What’s that?**
> 
> **A handsome Prince to whisk you away.**
> 
> **Any ideas where I could find one of those? The frogs I’ve been kissing have turned out to be just that.**
> 
> **Let me take you out for dinner tonight?**

Feyre’s heart started racing as she looked at the message. Tamlin was asking her on a date. A proper date. She’s never been on one before. All her and Isaac did was get drunk and have sex. This handsome man was asking her out for dinner. 

> **That would be really nice :)**
> 
> **Do you know Under the Mountain?**
> 
> **That really expensive restaurant that everyone is talking about? Of course! The waiting list is months long though???**
> 
> **That’s the one - meet you there at 8pm ;)**

Holy shit! This guy Tamlin must be rich on top of being handsome and funny…or at least very well connected. What on earth was he doing on Swipe? He must have women throwing themselves at his feet…and yet, tonight he was taking her on a date. 

Excitement punctured through her hangover. She was going on a date. Tonight! With the man of her dreams. AND he was taking her Under the Mountain. 

Oh. My. Gods. 

What was she going to wear. 

The door to the coffeeshop opened with a bang snapping Feyre from her reverie. Nuala, or maybe it was Cerridwen, stood there glaring down at Feyre, “Breaks over, get back to your register.” 

Even getting in trouble with her manager couldn’t put Feyre in a bad mood, she hopped up off the ground and followed Cerridwen, or maybe it was Nuala, back inside. 

The queue was even longer than it had been before she left. Logging onto her register beside the new girl, Alis, who was clearly flustered, she called the next customer forward. 

“What can I get you?” She asked without looking up. 

“Three large americanos, two blueberry muffins, and one pain au chocolat, please,” a warm, deep voice replied. 

“Three large americanos, two blueberry muffins, and one pain au chocolat,” Feyre repeated, punching the order into her register. “Can I take a name?”

“Rhys”

“Okay, Reece, that will be $18.90,” it was only then that Feyre glanced up. Standing in front of her till, gazing down upon her with the most vivid violet eyes she had ever seen was the most handsome man she had ever seen. 

All the thoughts of going on that date tonight with Tamlin emptied from her head. All that mattered was Reece standing before her.

A flicker of amusement crossed his face as he looked back at her. It was only then that Feyre realised he stood there, card in hand, waiting for her to put through the transaction. 

“Eh sorry,” she said with a shake of her head, “just tap here,” gesturing to the card machine. 

As he tapped his card and waited for the payment to go through, Feyre turned and pulled three large cups off the coffee machine. Grabbing a pen she quickly scribbled ‘REECE’ across the side of each and passed them down the line for Nuala, or maybe it was Cerridwen, to make the coffee. 

Turning back to the register she found Reece smiling at her. 

It was absolutely dazzling, she was sure her jaw dropped open slightly. 

Regaining her senses she moved away from him, towards the pastries, quickly picking up the tongs, she dropped two blueberry muffins and the pain au chocolat into a brown paper bag. 

Three coffees. Three pastries. Feyre couldn’t help but wonder who they were for. Three seemed to suggest that he wasn’t going home to have Saturday morning breakfast with his girlfriend. 

Ah, who was she kidding, a man like that could easily have two girlfriends and be able to pull it off. 

Maybe he would like a third. 

Shaking her head free of that little thought, she headed back to him where he waited, watching her, by the till. 

“Here are your muffins and pain au chocolat, the coffees will just be a few moments.”

“Thanks,” he said with another smile, but when she looked at Reece she realised that he was not looking at her face…but at her chest. 

No…not looking at her chest. He was trying to read her name badge. 

“It’s Feyre,” she said, flicking her name badge. 

Reece merely smiled again and nodded. 

They stood in awkward silence for a beat before Cerridwen or Nuala called the order. Hustling to the counter, Feyre picked up the cups of steaming coffee, and popped them in a cardboard tray for Reece to carry. 

“Three americanos,” she said, handing them over to him with a shy smile. 

“Thanks.”

“Have a nice day!’

“You too.”

“I will.” She stood there watching him, he hesitated for a moment before turning to head for the door, but not before he called back over his shoulder. 

“Feyre?”

A spark shot through her at the sound of her name falling from his mouth, “Yes?”

“It’s Rhysand” he said, gesturing to the tray of coffees with a wink. 

—————

Cassian couldn’t stop staring at the woman on the screen in front of him. He was lying in bed tapping through her pictures, and had been for at least the last 15 minutes, but he just couldn’t take his eyes off her. 

He had awoke that morning to a notification from that app, Swipe, he had downloaded months ago and then proceeded to forget all about. It wasn’t like there were many women in the Illyrian mountains for him to swipe through anyway. Many of anyone really, not amongst the trees.

He was easily the youngest person who lived up there by about 30 years. The old men who frequented the bar in the village nearest to his cabin liked to give him a hard time about it. They had all moved to the cities in their youths to find lives and wives, only returning to the cold mountains after a bitter divorce of the death of their beloved. They told him constantly that he needed to get out of the mountains, to go to Velaris or Hewn City and get himself a girl. It was their constant picking that had Cassian downloading Swipe in the first place. 

Not that it had helped him get the old men off his back. For one they didn’t understand dating apps, and secondly, because there were precisely two women in his Illyria village on Swipe. One of whom was Emerie, his former friends with benefits who had gone and got herself a boyfriend in one of the seasonal workers who came up to mange the forrest. The other wasn’t worth mentioning. 

He had forgot all about Swipe, and women in general before coming down to Velaris. He made the trip every year to see Rhys, before the snow made it difficult for him to leave his cabin until the spring. 

Azriel had recently moved to Velaris, and the three of them had stayed up drinking whiskey and talking shit long into the night. He was hungover as fuck. Maybe that’s why he was having such a hard time computing the beautiful woman who had apparently mega-matched him. Whatever that meant. 

Cassian continued to stare at the picture of her in her tight black dress that showed off the soft feminine curve of her body. Her long hair fell loose on her shoulders framing her perfect face. 

He tapped through the other photos yet again. He knew the order now. Tight black dress, bikini pic, pretty green dress, bikini pic, sexy red dress, gym shot. 

It was this final picture that had Cassian’s eyes out on stalks. His cock that had been hard when he had woken up had begun throbbing at that. Hot and sweaty after what he supposed was a heavy season - IN THE GYM - the woman was an absolute goddess. 

And she had mega-matched with him? Cassian knew he was in good shape, but he didn’t think a mountain man like that could ever stand a chance with a city girl like that.

No, someone must have taken her phone and swiped through. 

Or maybe she wasn’t even real. 

She was probably a model and someone was using her pictures to catfish men on dating apps. Emerie had made him watch a show about that once. Scary stuff. 

Still, on the off chance that maybe she was real, he might as well shoot his shot. 

Fumbling around with the app, he tried to figure out how to message her. 

That was when her bio popped up. 

With a quiet curse, Cassian punched the pillow beside him. This woman was a queen, and by gods was he prepared to worship at her feet. 

With a quick prayer that she would reply, he typed out a message. 

—————

“Good morning,” Rhys sang as he walked through the door of Azriel’s penthouse apartment. 

Azriel, who sat at the kitchen table staring into a mug of coffee, cringed. “How are you so happy this morning?”

Rhys smiled. “Oh, I don’t know. It’s a beautiful day!”

Azriel just blinked at him. “Please go take your sunniness somewhere else.”

“I would, but I have something you want,” he smirked. 

“And what might that be?” 

“Coffee and a blueberry muffin.”

Azriel’s head shot up. He noticed the bag that Rhys was holding in one hand and the tray of cups in the other. “Where did you get those?”

“Coffeeshop down the street.”

“Is it good?”

“There was a queue out the door so I would imagine so.” Not to mention a pretty little barista, but Rhys didn’t think Azriel would be swayed by that. In fact it could be something he actively avoided. 

“Anything has to be better than this,” He sighed peering back down at his mug. 

“You make it?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know why you do that to yourself?”

“Function over taste.”

Rhys placed the coffees and the pastries on the table and plopped into the seat opposite Azriel. “There are so many great coffee places around here man, you need to get out and explore.”

Azriel just shrugged as he reached for the bag and pulled out a blueberry muffin.

“How long have you lived here now?” Rhys prodded.

“Almost a month.”

“Almost a month and you don’t even have a coffee place, shameful.”

Azriel shrugged again, taking a bite of his muffin. 

Rhys worried for his friend. Azriel was happiest amongst the shadows. Unfortunately, he had just become the Velaris Black Wings biggest signing for the season, and something like that brought him into the spotlight. Especially in Velaris, where good looks, status, and money mattered to people. And Azriel had all three. 

Ever since he had moved from his lower division team in Illyria, the only time he left the house was to go to practice, or for a game, and then he was sheltered in his hockey player bubble. Ask the guy to walk down the street and the 6’4 mountain of muscle broke out in a stress rash. 

“I have a date tonight,” Rhys said, hoping to change the conversation. 

“Oh yeah?” Azriel asked, taking a sip of coffee. He didn’t make a face, unlike when he drank the suff he percolated himself. 

“Yeah.”

“How did you meet her?” 

“You know that app Swipe?”

“No.”

“Of course not. You have women throwing themselves at you everywhere you go.”

Azriel appeared to blush faintly under his tanned skin, “I don’t like it when they do that.”

“I know buddy, it must be so difficult to find yourself constantly surrounded by beautiful women.”

“They just want me for my body…or my money.” Azriel frowned.

Rhys frowned. Azriel wasn’t one to talk about the touchy feely stuff, but the guy was sensitive. “Is that such a bad thing?”

Azriel didn’t answer. “So this app?” He asked after a moment. 

“Yeah Swipe. Basically, you make a profile and you can look through girl’s profiles. If you both Swipe right for each other, then you match and you can start chatting.”

“That’s how you met this girl you’re going out with tonight?”

“Yeah, her name’s Amarantha. We’ve been chatting and its going well, so I asked her if she wanted to grab a drink. You want to see a picture?”

Azriel shrugged again, but Rhys knew his friend was curious. Taking his phone from his pocket he pulled up Amarantha’s profile. She was beautiful, with porcelain skin and long red hair. 

He passed his phone to Azriel. “Tap here for more pictures.”

Azriel’s expression didn’t change as he tapped through the pictures. “I hope it goes well for you,” he said, passing Rhys’s phone back to him. 

“Me too. It has been so long since I was last on a date.”

“It’s just like riding a bike, right.”

Rhys chuckled, “I sure hope so.” 

An easy silence fell between them as they slowly sipped their coffees and ate their muffins. It was really good. Definitely good enough to go back again for. Not that there would be any other reason. He had a date tonight he reminded himself, he needed to forget about the pretty little brunette, Feyre, out of his mind. 

If only he could. 

“Where is Cass?” He asked, shaking himself from his thoughts. 

“Still in bed,” Azriel said with a small smile, “he was wasted last night.”

“Indeed he was. I worry about him, up there alone.”

“Me too, but he won’t hear it. He’s a mountain boy at heart, he won’t be happy in the city.”

Rhys felt a pang of guilt shoot through him. “You sure you’re still talking about Cass?” He asked, standing up from the kitchen table. 

Azriel just nodded. 

—————

Azriel watched Rhys cross the giant living space, and head for the stairs, coffee and pastry in hand for Cassian. The three of them had got drunk last night for the first time in a long time, and Azriel had forgot how sad he got when he was hungover. It was the combination of the booze clearing his system and not having slept right. At least that’s what Azriel told himself. 

In reality though, he hadn’t felt like himself since he moved to Velaris, and the hangover was just heightening the emotions. 

He sighed deeply, and drained the end of his coffee. It really was better than the stuff he made for himself. Rhys was right, he did need to get out of his apartment and get to know his neighbourhood. It was just so intimidating. He was a small town boy, born and raised in the mountains, he didn’t know this city or anyone in it, except for Rhys, and yet everyone seemed to know him. It was incredibly overwhelming. 

At least in Illyria, he knew the name of everyone who had known his. For they had grown up together, not because his face was splashed across sports pages and gossip magazine’s alike. 

Despite being in this massive city, Azriel was lonely. He had Rhys of course, but the guy was busy. Thankfully Cassian would be here for a few weeks to keep him company, while he too stocked up on human interaction and other supplies before heading to his cabin high in the Illyrian mountains for the winter. 

But neither of his best friends could give Azriel what he really missed. 

The love of a good woman. 

He and Mor had been together since they were teenagers in school. He absolutely adored her and she was everything to him. She loved him too, but she wasn’t in love with him. How could she be, when she loved women. 

After almost 10 years together Mor had broken up with him. She had told him that she had been living a lie and that she had fallen in love with a woman named Rita. 

Three years later and Mor and Rita were now married with a son. A son who looked just like Azriel, because he was the one who had provided the “genetic material” for the boy. It was this story that the tabloids loved more than any other. 

Mor and Rita were honest with their son about who Azriel was, but he played more of a favourite uncle roll than a Dad. It broke Azriel’s heart that they were still in Illyria and he couldn’t just pop by at the weekends like he used to. They promised to call regularly, but it just wasn’t the same. 

Here in Velaris, Azriel felt totally alone. 

He needed to change that and Rhys had given him an idea. 

He unlocked his phone and hit download on the Swipe app. 


	3. Chapter Two

Feyre’s heart pounded as she crossed the street towards Under the Mountain. This was the first date that she had ever been on and she had spent the day behind her cash register imagining how it would go. Now the nerves were getting the better of her. 

The hours that had crawled by while she was at work, seemed to pass as minutes once she had hung up her apron for the day.

She had raced home after work to quickly pick up the empty pizza boxes and dump the wine glasses in the sink, just in case, before jumping into the shower. Turning the water up hot, she had washed and scrubbed and shaved every part of her, just in case. 

Emerging clean with reddened skin, Feyre had dried and curled her hair before plonking down in front of the mirror to do her makeup. That was when the artist in her had taken over, and time seemed to move even faster, as created a dramatic smokey eye look. 

Once perfected, Feyre dug a little black dress out of her wardrobe along with her only pair of heels. She had decided on the dress while she was daydreaming in work. It was the nicest looking item of clothing she owned. Under the Mountain was a fancy place, and Tamlin struck her as a man with expensive tastes, so she was pleased to find the dress still fit. She wouldn’t have had anything else to wear if it hadn’t. 

She crammed a few items into a clutch bag, before grabbing her phone to check her bank balance. With a wince, Feyre said a quick prayer that Tamlin was going to pay for their meal tonight. 

Surely he would…

Otherwise she was going to have to slip away to the bathroom and never come back. 

Feyre’s hangover from the night before had lifted over the course of the day, heading to the kitchen she downed a quick glass of wine to calm her nerves before calling her RideShare. 

The car had let her out a street away from the restaurant, one, so no one would witness her awkwardly climbing out of the backseat while she attempted not to flash anyone in her short black dress, and two because she needed a moment to calm herself before she headed in. It was a choice however, that Feyre regretted as she stumbled like a foal down the street. She was not used to walking in heels. She wasn’t even sure when the last time she had worn heels was. 

her graduation from university perhaps? 

She just prayed that Tamlin wasn’t now watching her approach the restaurant teetering in her heels trying to pull her skirt down to a respectable length. It certainly didn’t feel that short when she had put it on in her bedroom. 

Thankfully, she caught sight of Tamlin before he saw her. 

Feyre took a sharp intake of breath as she recognised him. 

He was every bit as handsome as he appeared in his pictures on Swipe. 

Dressed in a dark blue suit that offset his tanned skin and long blonde hair, he was leaning casually against the wall outside the restaurant. His focus was on his phone, but as she got closer he glanced up, doing a double take, before his eyes came to settle on her. 

“Feyre?” He asked, a warm smile spreading across his face. 

Nerves bubbled in Feyre at the sight of him. He appeared so collected, so cool, she was suddenly incredibly self conscious. “Yes, and you must be Tamlin?”

“I am indeed,” he said, kicking off the wall and strolling over to her. 

“Lovely to meet you.”

“Lovely to meet you too Feyre, you’re even more beautiful in person,” he said, leaning down to press a kiss to each cheek. 

He smelled amazing. Feyre knew she was blushing from his sudden proximity, but Tamlin appeared not to notice. Continuing to smile down at her, he offered her an arm which she gratefully took. 

She tried not to lean on him too heavily as he lead her through the doors and into the restaurant, but he was the only thing keeping her steady in her shoes. 

“So, how did you manage to get a table here so last minute?” She asked him. 

Tamlin chuckled, “What can I say? I have connections.”

“Ah, a man of mystery?”

“Not quite, I know the owner.”

“Oh wow you really do have connections.” 

As if on cue, and to prove Feyre’s point, the maitre d’ hurried forward to great them. 

“Tamlin, lovely as always to see you, and with a beautiful lady on your arm…how nice.” The man offered Feyre a pained smile that suggested, in fact, it was not nice at all. 

“Good evening Keir,” Tamlin said with a curt nod. 

“Your usual table I assume?”

“Please.” 

“You have a usual table?” Feyre whispered to Tamlin as the maitre d’ lead them through a maze of tables on the floor. 

“It has the best view in the place,” he replied. 

Sure enough the maitre d’, Keir, stopped in front of a table for two that was tucked away in a corner but beside a floor length window with a view overlooking the Velaris skyline. 

“Oh wow,” Feyre breathed moving towards the window, “this is a beautiful view.”

“Yes it is,” Tamlin agreed, but when Feyre glanced back at him, she found him looking, not at the skyline, but at her. Her body grew warm under his gaze and she felt herself blush even further. 

Tamlin pulled out a chair, motioning for Feyre to sit. 

“Thank you,” she whispered, folding herself carefully into the chair so not as to expose herself to anyone. 

The look on Keir’s face was already one of distain for her. Feyre thought he would be liable to get sick all over the carpet if he caught sight of her beaver. 

Could she still call it a beaver, she wondered, given she had shaved herself bare in the shower earlier. Perhaps dolphin was a more accurate description of what she had going on. 

Feyre had to suppress a giggle at that thought. Clearly the wine she had downed before leaving the house was going to her head. 

Catching her expression, Tamlin gently brushed her shoulder sending a shiver of heat down her spine. “You okay?’ He asked, rounding the table to settle himself in his own seat. 

Keir approached the table and with another pained smile began reciting the specials. 

Feyre couldn’t focus, she was too distracted by the heat pooling between her thighs in response to the man who sat across from her, thankfully, it all sounded delicious. 

Tamlin glanced at the wine list, before ordering a bottle of the table, and with that Keir disappeared. 

“I hope you don’t mind,” Tamlin said, “I’m just picky about my wine.”

“Oh, no go ahead. I don’t really know that much about wine anyway,” Feyre said with a shrug.

“You’ll like it.” 

“I’m sure I will.”

A tense silence settled over the table as the two of them looked at each other. 

Feyre glanced down at her menu. It was overwhelming to have Tamlin watch her like that, almost as if she was the meal he was here for.

Maybe she was. 

She felt her nipples harden in response to his gaze which dropped, only for a second, from her face. Gods, this man was glorious. 

“So…” Feyre began, in an attempt to break the tension that was consuming her, “is this where you bring all your girls?”

Tamlin’s eyes darkened “There are no other girls, Feyre.” 

“Oh…eh…it’s just,” She knew he face was flushing with heat again, “It’s just you have a regular table.” 

“Yes, for business.”

“Ah, right. Of course!…What is it that you do?”

“I run a property company. We manage estates and land.” 

“Oh very…interesting. You certainly look like a man that spends a lot of time outdoors.”

He did, with his tanned skin and blonde hair, sure it was natural, but it was certainly sun enhanced. He had the glow of a man who breathed in a lot of good fresh air. 

Tamlin smiled at that, “That’s not from work though, it’s from play.”

The way he said play, hinted at something much darker than playing golf or drinking with friends. Her body went hot again at the thought of what Tamlin considered fun. 

“Feyre?”

“Hummm?” She asked, pulled from her thoughts. When he said her name, it went straight to the core of her and made her flustered.

“What is it you do for work?”

“Eh…” Feyre hesitated, she wasn’t usually embarrassed by her job in the coffeeshop, it certainly wasn’t something to be embarrassed about, working hard to earn money, but she wanted to impress Tamlin, and that was hardly going to do it. “Right now I’m just working in a coffeeshop.”

“But that’s not what you want to do with your life?”

“No! I have a degree in Fine Art, which I would love to pursue, but it’s basically impossible to make money that way unless you’re really really huge.”

“Or you have some other financial backing?”

“Yeah.”

“Like a rich husband?”

Feyre laughed, “Yes, that would be perfect. Send him out to work all day while I stay at home and paint…the dream.”

“Dreams can come true, Feyre.” He said, surveying her with something dark in his eyes. 

“I suppose they can. I think a more realistic option is for me to get a job in an art gallery, maybe work my way up to be a director, but those jobs are so hard to come by.” 

“I can hook you up.”

“With a job?”

“Yes.” 

“In a gallery?”

“Yes. Which gallery would you like to work in Feyre?”

Feyre gawked across the table at Tamlin. Who was this guy who could offer her her dream job within minutes of meeting her. Well connected he was indeed. 

“…well if I could work anywhere it would be the Velaris Gallery of Art.”

“Consider it done.”

“What—“ 

Feyre’s stunned protests were cut off by the appearance of a waiter with the bottle of wine Tamlin had ordered. The waiter poured a small drop in Tamlin’s glass for him to sample. A curt nod from Tamlin had the waiter pouring two large glasses for them before disappearing again. 

“Do I make you nervous?” Tamlin asked, looking at how the glass shook in Feyre’s hand as she brought it to her lips. 

Feyre offered him a shy smile, “I guess you do, a bit.”

“Don’t be. No matter how I come across, I promise I’m no better than you are,” he said clinking her glass to hers.

Feyre made sure to take a long sip of wine to hide her expression. That was what was making her nervous, Tamlin was so clearly out of her league. He was attractive, tall and fit with a handsome face, he clearly had money…or at the very least connections, and was beyond generous. He just told her that he could get her the job of her dreams and she didn’t think it was the kind of thing someone just said on a first date to get the other person to like them, he was the real deal. 

But she hadn’t thought that he thought that he was too good for her. In explicitly stating however that he didn’t want her to think that he was too good for her, had Feyre thinking that was exactly what he was thinking.

Although maybe she was over thinking things.

Or not. These seemed like the kind of details that her friends obsessed over when they were debriefing a date. 

Before her thoughts could run any further away with her though, Tamlin asked her another question. 

“I’m sorry,” she said, shaking herself from her thoughts, “I missed that?”

“Losing yourself in the view?” 

“Something like that.”

“I was just wondering how you’re finding Swipe?”

“Oh right, yeah it’s going well. I haven’t had it for very long, just a couple of weeks. This is my first date though.”

“Your first date from Swipe?”

“Eh no…my first date ever.”

Tamlin’s eyebrow’s hit his hairline at that, “I don’t believe that.”

“It’s true.”

“You’ve never been on a date before?”

“Well not a real one, with dinner and drinks.”

“But you’ve had boyfriends in the past?”

“Not really, no.”

“No one?”

“There have been guys, but it’s always just been casual. They never wanted me to be their girlfriend.”

“They’re idiots then.”

“No, it’s okay. I didn’t want to be their girlfriend either.”

Tamlin took a long sip of his wine. “You are a very beautiful woman Feyre,” his eyes dipping again for another split second,“You need a man who appreciates everything you are. Who can give you things that other’s cannot. That’s what you want, isn’t it Feyre?”

The warmth that had spread through Feyre, ignited in a sudden rush of heat at Tamlin’s words, at the way he looked at her. “Yes,” she whispered. 

“Yes what?” He asked, his voice dropping to as low as hers. 

“That is what I want.”

Tamlin sat back in his chair a self satisfied smirk stretching across his face. It was only then she realised how close they had leaned towards each other at the table. Their faces had been so close together. Catching herself, she quickly straightened, picking up her glass of wine, hoping the cool liquid would calm the burning inside her. 

The wait staff must have been watching, waiting for an appropriate moment for them to interrupt. As the tension had reached its crescendo and begun to cool as if it was a game Tamlin was playing that Feyre didn’t know the rules to, they appeared to take their order. 

Tamlin ordered the fish to start and the beef as a main. Feyre, realising that she hadn’t even looked at the menu ordered the first two things she saw. The salad to start and the chicken as a main, which Tamlin reassured her were good choices. 

But then, in a restaurant like this, everything was going to be good. 

The waiter disappeared with a flourish and Feyre knew that this was her chance to regain some ground on Tamlin before he bamboozled her with any more promises. 

“What about you?” She asked.

“What about me?”

“Have you been on a lot of Swipe dates?”

“No Feyre, you’re the only one.”

————

Gods this date was going terribly, Rhys thought as he stared at himself in the mirror over the sink. He had escaped to the bathroom a few moments ago for a break. It wasn’t that he disliked Amarantha. It was that she liked him. A lot. 

She was dressed in a low cut dress, that left her ample cleavage on display. Rhys had tried to keep his eyes on her face, but it was hard when he feared that a nipple was going to appear at any moment. She hadn’t seemed to mind though. In fact, she had encouraged it. Pressing her breasts together for him to notice, resting them on the table so they were always in eye shot. After a couple of glasses of wine she had moved in close and began rubbing them against his arm, while he had tried to eat his meal. 

Yet it was only when she dropped her hand and began rubbing him through his trousers, did he think that she was being a bit forward for a first date. 

Well that, and the comments she kept making about their future together. 

At the fourth mention of their children, he had made an excuse to go to the bathroom and get out of her clutches for a while. 

By now however, Rhys had been hiding in the bathroom for about as long as he could get away with without raising suspicion. With a deep sigh, he resigned himself to dessert with Amarantha.

No doubt she would attempt to sensually feed him whatever dessert she had ordered, but he could get through it…maybe he could claim he was allergic. 

Pulling the door to the bathroom open he stepped out into the hallway and collided with a woman. 

His hands instinctually went to her waist as she grabbed his shoulders to steady herself. 

But as she looked up at him with wide eyes and surprise on her face, Rhys felt his pulse begin to race.

“Feyre, darling. How unexpected to run into you again so soon,” he said smoothly, although he could hear the pitch in his voice go up an octave. 

“Rhysand?” 

“The one and only.”

She seemed to realise then, how close they were standing to each other, how she gripped onto him, how his hand rested on her waist. He heard her take a sharp breath in, before she stepped back out of his hold. A gentle blush spread across her face. 

“I wouldn’t have expected to see you in a place like this,” he said, brushing off the rejection he felt as she moved away from him. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” She asked, her brow furrowing in the most adorable way. 

“Well, just this is not the kind of place I would have thought someone who bagged pastries for a living could afford to eat,” he said with a smirk. 

They were words he instantly regretted as she drew back even further. Shit. He’d hit a nerve. He’d just been fishing for information about her. Smooth Rhys, he scolded himself. 

“Excuse me?” She asked, but before he could think of something to say that would save the situation she had stormed passed him heading for the bathroom. 

“Wait, no Feyre, come back! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean how that sounded.”

She paused in the doorway, turning to look back at him, her expression pissed. “For someone so handsome, you are so rude.”

Rhys froze, his heart accelerated.

Had he heard right?

He schooled his face into a self satisfied smile so as not to betray his thoughts. “You think I’m handsome?” He asked.

“Handsome? Yes. Unbelievably cocky? Also yes!”

He quirked his eyebrow at her choice of words. 

“Oh grow up,” she scowled before closing the bathroom door in his face. 

Rhys couldn’t help but grin. 

For the rest of his date with Amarantha he felt like he was on cloud nine. He didn’t even mind when she “accidentally” dropped ice cream on his trousers, with a promise to lick it up later. 


	4. Chapter Three

A week had passed since Feyre’s first date with Tamlin and so much had changed in her life in that short space of time. For one, she had given up her job at the coffee shop. Tamlin hadn’t been lying when he said he could get her a job anywhere she wanted. A quick phone call from him to one of his “connections” and an hour later she was hearing about a vacancy for an assistant to the Director at the Velaris Gallery of Art. She was offered the role within an interview. Apparently the Director didn’t believe such things. No, instead she was given a six month trial. If they got on well, a permanent job was hers. She started on Monday. 

Tamlin meanwhile had become a permeant fixture in her life. He had stayed over every night since that first date, and they had been inseparable since. She couldn’t have imagined a more wonderful guy, and to think that he seemed to actually like her!

He was so unbelievably generous, getting her that job was one thing but it was all the small things he did for her too. He was so kind and patient, that first night in her bed, nothing had happened, he had said that he didn’t want her to think he was taking advantage of her. Instead, they had just lay, tangled in the sheets, hands intertwined, talking about their lives and their hopes for the future. 

He was so attentive, dedicating his days to her, moving working meetings around so she didn’t have to go anywhere alone. 

Like today for example, when she had wanted to go shopping for some new, professional clothes ahead of her starting her new job, Tamlin had insisted on coming with her. 

And Feyre was so grateful that he did. 

He had frowned when she had emerged from the dressing room of H&N in her first skirt jacket combo. 

“What do you think of this?” She’d asked him.

“It’s a bit…frumpy.”

She had nodded and gone back into the changing room, emerging in black pants and a colourful shirt.

“No one will take you seriously if you dress like that,” had been his response. 

She tried again with a cute black dress. 

“Oh come on Feyre,” he had scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“What? I thought it was cute?”

“It’s too revealing.”

“But if I wear it with tights and a cardigan.”

“You’d still look like a whore.”

Feyre recoiled, but Tamlin had quickly interjected to clarify his position. “This is your first big job in a career that you want, you need to look professional without looking old, or dressing like a man, and without having your body on show,” He gave her a kind look, the tension easing from his jaw. “You want to look like you got your job because of your ability Feyre, not because someone liked looking down your shirt.” 

“But that is how I got this job, because you like looking down my shirt,” she said with a laugh trying to relieve the tension between them. 

It was the wrong thing to say however, because Tamlin’s face only darkened, his jaw tensing again. “Don’t be ridiculous Feyre. You got the opportunity because I recognised your potential, but you’re going to get the job because of your hard work.”

“Yes, of course. I’m sorry. I just grateful—“ 

Tamlin cut her off with a dismissive wave of his hand, “You don’t need to be grateful, this is just what people in relationships do.”

Feyre froze, her heart began to race. He hadn’t asked her to be his girlfriend, she had thought it had been too soon. They had only been seeing each other for a week. But she really liked Tamlin. She had hoped that he had felt the same way. “We’re in a relationship?”

Tamlin stood from the bench he’d been sitting on and approached her, his expression growing soft and caring one again. She loved it when he looked at her like that. “This wasn’t the way I planned on asking you,” he said, reaching up to gently cup her face as he came to a stop in front of her. 

Feyre could barely hear him over the pounding of her own pulse in her ears. Her body pulled taught and went loose all at the same time as she gazed up at him. 

A slow smile spread cross his face, “Feyre Archeron, my beautiful Feyre, it would mean the world to me if you were to be my girlfriend.” 

Feyre couldn’t stop the grin that spread across her face, she had never felt happiness like this. It threatened to crack her chest wide open.

“Is that a yes?” He whispered.

“Yes! Of course! I’d love to be your girlfriend.” 

Tamlin smiled brightly too, before leaning down to kiss her. 

Heat flooded through Feyre, her desire for Tamlin so strong she didn’t notice how her hips pushed up against his begging for more than what the kiss was giving her. 

Tamlin broke the kiss with a chuckle, “Let’s get out of here,” he said, looking around the grimy H&N changing room with distain. 

“Okay,” Feyre whispered against his mouth, trying to find some part of him to grind against to relieve the tension that was building between her thighs. 

“You can show me tonight how happy you are,” he said with a deliciously male smile, placing his hands on her hips to stop her rubbing against him, “Now, let’s go somewhere nice and buy you a new wardrobe for your new job.”

Feyre was quickly learning the kind of places that Tamlin thought were nice. She shook her head, “I won’t be able to afford it.”

“Maybe not, but I can,” he said with a wink. 

And it was that generosity, that made Feyre think she was beginning to fall in love with him.

————

“An americano and a blueberry muffin, please,” Rhys said to the young woman standing behind the cash register taking orders. 

It wasn’t Feyre. 

It hadn’t been any day this week. Not on the morning shift when he drove in the opposite direction of his office to get a coffee and a muffin for breakfast. Nor had she been there in the evening when he stopped in for a hot chocolate. 

He tried surreptitiously to see who else was working today besides the chubby girl at the till. The waif-like twins were in their usual spot churning out coffees. A girl he hadn’t seen before walked around clearing tables. 

He was so sure that today was the day that he was going to see her. This was the shift she had been working last week when they had first met. 

And yet, she wasn’t here. 

He wondered if she worked part-time, or if she was on annual leave. Maybe she was sick. Or had taken study leave ahead of exams. 

He shook his head. He knew this Feyre obsession he had developed bordered on stalking, but ever since they had collided with each other Under the Mountain he couldn’t stop thinking about her. 

About those big blue eyes that had gone wide in surprise at his sudden appearance, at the way she had gripped his shoulders as if she was holding on for dear life, the way the fabric of her dress had felt soft against his fingers, her sharp tongue at his misspoken words. 

He just wanted to talk to her, to apologise for what he had said. 

Okay, maybe he also wanted to take her for a drink. To make her forget about the tall blond prick she was with at the restaurant. The only comfort that Rhys had taken in watching them together from the corner of his eye, while Amarantha tried to feed him whatever gross dessert she had ordered, was that they clearly didn’t know each other well. 

Their body language was of people early into their relationship, a first or second date even, not of two people comfortable and long in love. 

Gods above he was obsessed, wasn’t he? 

One of the waif-like twins called his name, snapping him from his reverie. 

He accepted the coffee from her with a sigh. Tomorrow, he thought, maybe he’d see Feyre again tomorrow. 

————

**A city girl like you couldn’t survive for one day in the mountains.**

Nesta smiled at the message. 

Cassian had been ribbing her about what he called her “uptown girl” lifestyle since they matched a few days ago.

It turned out Cassian was the person she had accidentally mega-matched with on that first night her sisters had set up her profile. She was going to un-match him out of sheer embarrassment - it turned out mega-matching was only something creeps did - but Cassian didn’t seem to mind if she was a creep…or maybe that just made him an even bigger creep than her. 

But as she had gone to un-match him she took a closer look at his profile. Not only had her jaw dropped open, but she had got a tingling in her lady parts. 

A good tingling. 

Not an imminent UTI tingling. 

His profile had simply read:

_Cassian. 29._

But his pictures more than made up for the lack of information.

Sure he looked good in that first picture standing beside the barbecue, but there were more dressed in flannel and curled up with dogs in front of the fire, wearing the ugliest festive jumper she had ever seen and still pulling it off, laughing with two guys who easily could have been brothers, standing on top of a snowy mountain, and the one that got her, shirtless emerging from a lake like a damned aftershave commercial. 

The tingling had definitely become stronger then. 

So she had clicked into the message he had sent her, and snorted. 

**Sheesh…Is it too early to ask you to marry me?? If so I can wait until tomorrow lol**

He wasn’t the usual type of guy she’d go for; the clean shaven, suit wearing, finance types, but that’s what Thomas had been, and look where that had got her. Cassian had beard and long wild hair, he was tall and broad, and covered in tattoos. He looked intimating in his pictures, except for the one where he was smiling, his smile brightened his whole face. But Nesta had replied to that first message and they had struck up conversation. In the week she had been getting to know him, she found him to be a charming jokester. 

He wasn’t cocky like Thomas could have been, he was sweet almost shy at times.

At least that’s what Nesta told herself to explain why he hadn’t asked her out for a drink yet. A fact that she was determined to change today.

After waiting the prerequisite amount of time so she didn’t come off too eager she sent him a message back. 

**You’d be surprised Mountain Man, I can handle myself.**

His response came seconds later.

**I’d like to see you handling yourself.**

**I think you’d rather handle me yourself ;)**

**You know me too well.**

Nesta’s stomach clenched as she typed out her next message. 

**I’d like to get to know you better. We should grab a drink?**

Her heart pounded as she waited for the three dots of his reply to appear, but after a few minutes there was no reply. 

Oh well, she thought, maybe he was one of those guys who just wanted to text endlessly with no intention of meeting up. Shame, but she’d worry about Cassian later.

Tonight however, she was going to move on Thomas in the only way she knew how.

By getting under another man.

His name was Hellion, and by the Gods was he hot. 

————

“Suck it!”

“How do you like that?”

“Fuck Yes!”

Cassian and Azriel erupted into cheers as they tag teamed, and successfully defeated, two teenagers who’s online profiles suggested they were based in Adriata. 

Throwing his controller down on the sofa beside him, Cass reached for his phone and smiled as he always did when he had a notification from Nesta. 

He didn’t quite believe it when he saw that she messaged back to his opening line, let alone that they had been chatting for the past week. A week in which he had learned not only was she unbelievably beautiful, but also a total badass and hilariously funny. He just didn’t know how someone so perfect could exist without the world caving into a blackhole or some shit. 

He opened her message and he felt the blood drain from his face. He was glad he was sitting down, otherwise his legs would have gone weak. 

“Eh…Az?”

“Yeah?”

“Where is a good spot to take a girl on a date in Velaris?”

Az blew out a breath, “Hell if I know brother, I’ve only been here a month.”

“And you haven’t taken a girl out in that time.”

Az gave him a steady look. Yeah. Okay. Fair. It had been a long time since Azriel had been on a date. Cassian wasn’t even sure if he’d been with a woman since Mor. But then, as the saying goes, once bitten twice shy, and Azriel was already painfully anti-social to begin with. 

“What about your teammates then? Do you know where they take their ladies?”

“That’s not something we talk about.” 

“You’ve never even overheard them mention somewhere?”

“Even if they have, I don’t remember,” Azriel paused, looking thoughtful. “Why are you worried about where to take a girl in Velaris anyway?”

Cassian felt his cheeks heat, he wrung his hangs together in his lap. He hadn’t told his friends about Swipe. He didn’t want them to laugh at him, to think he was lonely and desperate to take a wife up to the mountains with him. “There’s this app…”

“Swipe?”

“Yeah, you know it?”

“Rhys talks about it.”

“Does he?”

“Yeah that’s how he met that girl he went on a date with last week.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh…well…I forgot I downloaded it to be honest, it was months ago, and there wasn’t many people on it in Illyria. Then I came down here and this girl matched with me last week and…we’ve been talking. Do you want to see a picture?”

Azriel nodded, looking thoughtful again. 

Cassian pulled up Nesta’s profile and passed his phone to Az. 

“So this is the girl you’ve been obsessing over?”

“I haven’t been obsess—,” Cassian started, before catching himself, “I haven’t mentioned her before this?”

Az smiled, “No, but you haven’t been acting like your usual self. You’re constantly checking your phone. You’re either grinning at your phone like some love sick puppy, or grumpy with me if you go longer than 20 minutes without getting a reply.”

Cassian just gawked at Azriel, he knew his friend was perceptive, he just didn’t realise that he’d been able to read him like an open book.

“You haven’t been very subtle about it,” Az said, as if reading his mind. 

“Shit,” Cassian swore, running his hands through his loose hair, “I guess I haven’t.”

He watched Azriel flick through Nesta’s pictures for a moment before he handed his phone back to Cassian. 

“You have to admit that she’s hot though?”

Azriel smiled again, “You want me to tell you that I think this girl is hot?’

Something like fear slicked through Cassian. He knew Azriel was the better looking of the pair of them. He was the one that the girls had always thrown themselves at, even back in school, and that was before the guy had money and fame. Now, Cassian didn’t stand a chance with a girl if Azriel wanted her. He thanked his lucky stars that his brother would never do that to him.

“Eh, no. I suppose I don’t.”

Az just smirked.

The moment was broken as Rhys strolled through the front door, coffee in one hand, pastry back in the other. 

“Excuse you, where are our coffees?” Cassian asked as Rhys plonked himself in the armchair opposite him and Az. 

“Why would I bring you coffees?”

“Because your Az’s agent and you’re supposed to look out for his welfare.”

“Az didn’t want a coffee, I text him,” Rhys said with a shrug as he bit into his blueberry muffin. 

“You bastard,” Cassian shook his head, “leaving me to drink that crap Az brews.” 

“It’s not that bad,” Azriel interjected. 

“It is,” Rhys said. 

“It’s functional,” Az replied, picking up his phone and leaning back on the couch, his signal that he was done engaging in conversation. 

Cassian turned back to Rhys, who had finished his muffin and was licking the sticky remnants from his fingers. 

“Rhys?”

“Hummm?”

“Where would you bring a girl on a date in Velaris? Somewhere nice.”

“Dinner?”

“Yeah.”

“The House of Wind.” 

“It’s nice?”

Rhys smirked, “It is. They probably won’t let you in.”

“Why not?”

“Because…look at you,” he gestured to Cassian, stretched out on Azriel’s couch. He wasn’t long out of bed. He was shirtless, his hair and beard no doubt wild. 

“I can scrub up.”

“Can you? All you wear is flannel.” 

“I’ll borrow one of your suits.”

“You will not! You’ll stretch the shoulders out.”

Cassian rolled his eyes at Rhys, before turning to Azriel, “Can I borrow one of your suits?”

Azriel didn’t appear to hear him, his attention focused on whatever he was looking at on his phone. Probably highlights of the upcoming oppositions last game. That seemed like the kind of obsessive perfectionist thing Azriel would do. 

“See,” Cassian turned back to Rhys, “Az has no objections.”

Rhys just laughed. “Who is this girl anyway?”

“Eh…we’ve been talking on Swipe.”

“Oh? Can I see a picture?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Why not?”

“Because,” Azriel interjected, looking up from his phone. Of course, Cassian thought, this was the only thing that would rouse Azriel from his focus. “Cassian is easily jealous.” 

Cassian smacked him with a cushion. 

————

Azriel listening to his friends back and forth about dating. He wasn’t sure he had ever seen Cass hung up on a girl, it was nice to see. That boy needed some female company up there in the mountains, even if he never wanted to admit it. Az just hoped she was everything that he had built her up in his head to be. 

He pulled out his phone and opened up Swipe, leaning back on the sofa he began clicking through profiles. He hadn’t actually swiped right on anyone yet, but it was a step in the right direction. It was healthy for him to see what was out there, wherever there was. Unfortunately, some of what was out “there” was really scary…or just plain weird. 

Face after face he swiped left. Strange hair. Left. Chain connecting the piercing in her ear to her nose. Left. Tattoo on her face. Left. No pictures of her just of cars. Left. A girl trying to catch her boyfriend cheating. Left. A bio that read “come and get me…if you think you can handle it.” Left. 

On and on it went. 

Until he saw her. 

She was wearing a sundress and a big floppy hat. Sitting under a tree, she smiled brightly at the camera. 

Azriel’s breath caught a bit as he looked at her. 

She wasn’t scary at all. 

Instead she radiated sweetness. 

She looked warm and soft and kind. All the things he once thought he’d had but never really did. All the things he craved more than anything. 

With a small flare of hope, Azriel swiped right. 

————

Elain smiled as the notification lit up her screen. 

She and Lucien had been messaging back and fourth all week. Things were going really well, so well in fact that last night, after a glass of wine, she had given him her number. 

It wasn’t Lucien texting her good morning as he usually did though. It was a notification from Swipe. 

Elain had sprung for the premium subscription. She liked to see who swiped right on her. She knew she shouldn’t base her self worth on the whether men were attracted to her or not, her therapist was helping her come to see that, but after the damage Thomas had done to her, it was nice to feel desirable. 

She clicked open the notification.

The guy’s pictures all obscured his face in some way. Elain frowned, it was a bit creepy. 

Each one she clicked through, either he was far away and wearing sunglasses or his face was artfully covered in some way. 

Maybe he had some sort of scaring he didn’t want people to see, less they judge him for it. 

Elain clicked on the final picture. His face remained half obscured, but what was visible was clearer than in any of the others. His dark hazel eyes twinkled as he smiled at whoever was behind the camera. 

He was absolutely radiant. 

She clicked into his bio. 

_Az. 30. Professional big spoon seeks missing little spoon_. 

Well. 


	5. Chapter Four

“What about this one?”

“No, it still doesn’t look right.”

“How are you both bigger and smaller than me at the same time?”

“All my suits are tailored to me, they’re not the cheap off the rack stuff you buy.”

“You say that like I own more than one suit.”

“Don’t you?”

“Nope. One suit. I wear it weddings and funeral, that’s it.”

“Then why do you need to wear one tonight?”

“Because, Rhys said this place is fancy, as in dress code fancy. They have some stupid rule about wearing jackets.” Cass sighed. He thought it would be easy to borrow something of Az’s to wear tonight for his date with Nesta, they were roughly the same size. Turned out Az was both leaner and slightly taller than he, and when the former got his clothes tailored, they looked stupid on the latter. There was no point asking Rhys, if Az’s jackets didn’t fit Cassian, Rhys’s definitely wouldn’t.

Az cocked his head to one side surveying Cassian. “Why are you bringing her to this place anyway?”

“Because it’s fancy and she’s the kind of girl who you have to bring fancy places.”

“Perhaps, but you’re not fancy—.”

“Thanks?”

“No, hear me out. You have been talking to this girl and you like her, correct?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re getting dinner so you can get to know each other better, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“But this guy,” Azriel gestured to Cassian standing in front of him in an ill-fitting suit, “Is not who you are. You don’t go to fancy restaurants that have dress codes and names of food you can’t pronounce or alcohol you can’t afford. And this girl…Nesta?”

“Nesta.”

“She has been getting to know you over the last week and a half too. She must like you if she’s agreed to go on a date. Do you not think she’s going to realise pretty quickly that a fancy restaurant is not your scene at all.”

Cassian sat down on the end of Azriel’s bed and put his head in his hands. He did not need this right now. He was nervous enough about his date with Nesta he didn’t need his best friend to undermine his plans for the evening with logic.

“I don’t stand a chance with her if I don’t take her somewhere nice. I know she’s been on dates with other guys, I’m sure they’ve brought her to the best places in Velaris. I need to go all out if I want to impress her.”

“Who cares where other guys take her, she’s single and going on a dat with you, so it clearly hasn’t worked out with them.”

“All the more reason to go all out.”

“Be real Cass, you don’t stand a chance with her at all if she thinks that you really are whoever you’re pretending to be tonight. Sooner or later it’s all going to come tumbling down.”

When he looked back on it later Cassian would realise that not only were Azriel’s words true, but they weren’t really intended for Cassian. They were words that he wanted to say to someone else. Someone who had lead him to believe that they were one thing, a thing that Azriel fell in love with, and when that person revealed their truth, his whole world crumbled.

But in the moment, confronted with his own insecurities, Cass didn’t react the way he wished later he had.

“That’s the thing though Az, girls don’t like the real me.”

“Girls like you—.”

“No Az, they don’t! Girls like you, they always have. Mysterious Azriel, he’s so handsome, he’s so smart, he’s so talented,” Cassian was aware that his tone had turned mocking but it was too late for him to roll back on it, “they liked you before you had fame and money, they sure as hell like you more now. If you weren’t so terrified of having your heart broken again then maybe you would see it too.”

He knew he had said the wrong thing the second the words were out of his mouth. Regret flooded Cassian as Az recoiled from him as if he had been dealt a physical blow.

He stood from the foot of his bed where they both sat and headed for the door.

“No, Az, I’m sorry I didn’t mean that…I just—.”

“Good luck on your date tonight Cass,” Azriel said cutting him off. “I hope for your sake you don’t fuck it up.”

Azriel’s words, his wounded expression, bounced around in Cassian’s head an hour later as he stood outside the entrance to the House of Wind.

Okay, that was a lie. He couldn’t standing still. He was pacing up and down the sidewalk, no doubt wearing away the soles of Azriel’s shoe’s he had stuffed his feet into. They were the only thing he wore that fit.

Cassian didn’t think he’d ever been as nervous in his entire life. Then again, he had never been on a proper date before.

He’d had drinks before. When they were in school, he would hound Az into asking one of the girls who hung around the hockey team out for milkshakes, and convince her to bring a friend for Cassian. It always ended the same though, he would gaze longingly at the girl, trying to strike up conversation, while she would have eyes for no-one but Azriel. It was pathetic, and Cassian remembered being awkward, but never nervous. Maybe because Azriel’s presence meant there was no real chance of anything happening. No risk of being rejected by someone he really wanted.

Later he would sometimes ask Emerie for a drink as a prelude to their evening. He liked the company.

But he had never been on a ‘ _try to find out if we’re compatible enough to spend the rest of our lives together over the course of a dinner_ ’ date before.

And he was terrified.

He desperately wanted to run his hands through his hair, a nervous habit of his. He had tried a couple of times too. Only then to remember that he had gelled his wild mane in place in order to look presentable for tonight.

The doormen eyed him as he paced back and forth, like they knew he didn’t belong there. If there was one thing that Cassian learnt living in the mountains however, was that you should never show weakness. Not to the wild creatures that lived in the forrest, not in the face of the potentially deadly weather, and certainly not in front of the battled hardened locals.

So, he met those stares right back with a menacing one of his own.

His fingers found the soft petals of the rose he held. He had bought it for Nesta from one of those carts that rolled around the city, catching men unawares as they strolled with their ladies. He knew it was an over priced and cheesy but it had felt right.

He might not be the kind of guy who wears suits and eats in fancy places often, but he knew that if he had a girl he would absolutely dote on her. And so a single rose seemed like a good place to start.

It was on what felt like his millionth time passing the restaurant that he saw her. Crossing the road towards him, she emerged from the bustle of pedestrians like Aphrodite from her shell.

Cassian’s world seemed to slow. The nerves that flooded his body became still. The only thing that he was aware of was his breathing and her.

Nesta. Nesta. Nesta.

Something deep inside of him was called to the surface at the sight of her.

She was every bit as stunning if not more than she was in her pictures, brought to life by movement.

Dressed in a simple, yet elegant grey dress, her hair was coiled on top of her head. It was then that he remembered her bio, how apt it was, a queen that he would have to earn.

“Cassian?” She asked, her expression quizzical as she neared him.

“Hi—,” Cassian squeaked. Squeaked! He hadn’t heard his voice that high since his balls had dropped. Loudly clearing this throat, he tried again. “How are you?”

Better.

“Good thanks. How are you?” She came to a stop, looking up at him with deep stormy eyes that cut right to his core.

His head emptied as he gazed down at her. She was so much smaller than him, her head reached the middle of his chest. Her body was soft and curvy; deliciously feminine, but her face…the pictures didn’t do her beauty justice. The depth of her eyes, which she had lined with kohl for dramatic effect. Her high cheek bones. And Cassian didn’t allow his gaze to drop to her lips, which she had painted a deep red. It was sinful.

He was still motionless, gaping like a fish, when she moved. Stepping closer to him and rising up onto her tiptoes, she placed a hand gently on his shoulder to steady herself. A jolt of electricity shot through Cassian, his senses suddenly shocked back into action.

He leaned down to meet her. He went to his left as Nesta went to her right. Instead of bussing cheeks, he ended up colliding with her mouth.

His lips met hers.

It was only a gentle brush.

And only for a second.

But it was fireworks.

Like a star exploded somewhere inside of him.

Cassian’s fists clenched as he tried to restrain himself from grabbing Nesta and pulling her onto him right in the middle of the busy street.

A small laugh came from Nesta as she stepped back. Her cheeks were stained faintly pink.

It only added to her beauty.

Cassian felt his own cheeks heat, and knew that in comparison he resembled a tomato.

He looked down, away from her for a moment, and cringed. The rose was a crumpled mess in his thick palm. He flushed further. He wished he could hide it, or dump it in a bin somewhere, but Nesta had already seen.

“Eh…this is for you,” he thrust the rose awkwardly at her.

Nesta accepted the rose with a wry smile, “You shouldn’t have.”

“I really shouldn’t have,” Cassian sighed, “I’ve already ruined this date and it hasn’t even started properly.”

Nesta didn’t seem to hear. She looked down at the rose, rubbing one of the crushed petals between her finger tips.

Cassian just watched her for a moment, unsure what to say. Maybe he should call the whole thing off now, to save whatever dignity he had left.

But when Nesta looked back up at him, something in her face had changed. “So, shall we go in?”

————

Nesta had to suppress a laugh. The date was going badly. Terribly even. It was categorically, beyond a shadow of a doubt the worst date that she had ever been on.

Cassian was not what Nesta had expected at all. The person sitting across the table from her was not the sexy mountain man from his pictures, whom she had been messaging for the last week and a half.

Another lesson in online dating, she supposed, you really need to meet a person in order to get to know them.

But that was just it. Nesta didn’t think she was getting to know Cassian at all.

Instead, she was on a date with the person Cassian thought she wanted him to be.

She should have guessed when he had first suggested that they get dinner at the House of Wind that it was somewhere he thought she expected to be brought, rather than somewhere he would ever actually go.

Nesta had been to the House of Wind on many occasions, most recently a few days previously when she had met another Swipe date, Eris, here for drinks. A fact that Nesta thought was best not to mention to Cassian.

The House of Wind might be fancy, but it was cliché. The kind of place men brought women to lubricate them - socially, with alcohol - before they brought them home to their bed.

Sure, that was what Eris had done, wasn’t it?

On the many previous occasions that Nesta had been at the House of Wind she had never seen a guy like Cassian there.

The type of guy who, in an attempt to look presentable, used so much gel in his wild hair that it more closely resembled a helmet. Who cobbled together a suit, that clearly neither matched nor belonged to him, in order to meet the dress code.

The type of guy who brought his date a crumpled rose to impress her.

The gesture was so tender that something hard inside Nesta’s chest had cracked at the sight of it.

Thomas had only bought flowers to appease Nesta after an argument. ‘Now let us forget about all that’ he would say to her. Flowers were a sign that he was done arguing and wanted to sweep the matter under the rug, resolved or not.

Nesta glanced at the rose that was lying on the table beside her. She knew, regardless of how this date ended, she was going to bring it home and put it in water. And then, when it eventually died, she was going to press it gently between the pages of a book and keep it forever.

A memory of this night.

That she was deserving of someone who cared about her.

Cassian cared. He cared about impressing her, about making sure she had a good night. He cared so much about what Nesta thought of him that it was stifling any attempt of getting to know him.

And he was nervous.

That much was apparent when he clumsily bungled their greeting.

He still had lipstick on his face from when he’d accidentally kissed her. It had only been the faintest of brushes of their lips, but Nesta’s heart had leapt.

Something had ignited inside of her like a burning fire.

More than it had when Devlin had taken her to his bed the night before. Even with his head between her legs she hadn’t felt that much of thrill.

So Nesta didn’t tell Cassian about the lipstick.

“Everything okay?” She asked, as Cassian looked up from the bill that had been handed to him.

“Eh…yeah. It’s just…” he blanched.

“Yes?”

Whatever he was going to say he decided better of it. “Nothing,” Cassian shook his head, “I just need to make a quick call. I’ll be right back.”

Cassian hurried away from the table, towards the door. Once he was out of view, Nesta leaned across the table and picked up the bill.

Ah.

She figured she hadn’t known he was ordering $100 glasses of whiskey. She probably should have said something, but she didn’t want to emasculate him. Other men she dated would not have reacted well to that.

Beckoning for the waiter, she pulled her credit card from her purse.

The date was truly awful, and yet Nesta found herself utterly endeared.

———--

Across town, squeezed into a tiny little sushi restaurant, Elain laughed. Harder than she had laughed in a very long time.

Maybe it was the foreign feeling of food warming her belly, or the Sake that she had been sipping, but Elain was pretty sure it was the company itself.

“That’s not true!” She giggled at Lucien’s latest punchline.

“I swear it on my life,” he said, his eyes going wide, sincere.

“I still don’t believe you.”

“Scouts honour!”

“I bet you weren’t even in the Scouts.”

Lucien laughed, raising his hands in the air, caught. “Okay, I was not in the Scouts…But that doesn’t make it any less true.”

Elain giggled again. Lucien was not only more handsome in person, but his easy and charming nature had put Elain at ease from the beginning.

“Elain.” Lucien said, his laughter dying.

“Yeah?”

“I think this place is closing.”

“What? Oh!” Elain looked behind her to find the restaurant empty and the staff beginning to clean up. Tucked into a little nook, Elain felt like her and Lucien could have been in a world of their own.

Elain glanced at her phone. There was a text from Feyre in their sister group chat, wishing her and Nesta good luck on her respective dates, but it was the time that had Elain jumping up.

“Oh figglesticks, the time! I must hurry if I want to make the last train.”

Lucien gave her an amused look. “Figglesticks?”

Elain felt herself blush, “Sorry, I’m just used to being with children all day. It’s bad to swear.”

“I think it’s very sweet,” he said with a soft smile, “Let me just pay and I’ll walk you to the train.”

Elain made a move to pull her purse from her bag but Lucien stopped her with a gentle hand on her arm, a shiver went through her. “This is on me,” he said.

“You’re very kind,” she said, blushing again.

It had been a long time since a man had done anything like that for her. In an instant the warm mood of the evening evaporated, fear overtaking her. What if Lucien was only paying because he wanted something from her in return? Was she safe walking with him to the train stations? What if he dragged her down an alleyway and had his way with her? Leaving her cold and crying with no way to get home.

Elain closed her eyes and focused on her breathing. This were the kind of intrusive, anxious thoughts that she had been working to overcome with her therapist.

There was nothing in Lucien’s behaviour tonight to suggest that he was anything other than a nice guy.

“Ready?” He asked, returning from paying for their meal.

“Yes.”

He offered her his arm as they stepped out into the cold autumn night.

“The nights here are beautiful,” he said, gazing up at the clear nights sky.

“Velaris is the best place to go star gazing.”

“Sure looks that way.”

“Have you been here for Starfall?”

“Not yet, I’m looking forward to it.”

“My sister always throws a huge party to celebrate. It is really spectacular.”

“I can only imagine.”

The continued like that, strolling along on the empty streets, looking at the sky, chatting about nothing in particular until they reached the train station.

“So…” Lucien said, coming to a stop, “I had a really great time tonight.”

“Me too!”

“You sound surprised?”

Elain shrugged, “I guess I didn’t really know what to expect.”

“Would you maybe like to do it again sometime?”

“Yes, I would really like that.”

“Good,” Lucien smiled.

He hesitated for a moment, before deciding to lean in.

Elain held her breath, her fingers wrapping around the keys in her pocket. A pathetic weapon, but one that might make the difference if she needed it.

But Lucien simply brushed his lips to her cheek before pulling back. “Safe home, Elain.”

“You too Lucien.”


	6. Chapter Five

Azriel’s hands trembled as he punched the numbers into his phone. He had said he would call at this time. His promise, more to himself than her, the only thing holding him to actually going through with the call. Two hours ago he had told Cassian he was coming down with a migraine and had retired to his room. He had lay on his bed, as darkness slowly consumed the room, counting down the time until the call. Thinking up excuses to get him out of calling. Only to talk himself out of the excuses and into going through with it. 

There was one thing that Azriel wanted more than anything and that was to be in love. He often wondered that if the lie, the illusion of love he had lived for ten years had felt that good then what would the real thing feel like? When someone you loved, loved you back in the way they were meant to. 

There was a part of Azriel that thought he wasn’t worthy of such things, that there was nothing especially appealing about him that would make someone fall in love with him, the real him, not the fame and not the money. 

But another part of him, the logical part, knew that everyone was deserving of love. That everyone would find their person when the time was right. That included him. 

He also knew, however, that if he wanted to find his person, or let them find him, he needed to put himself out there and not cloister himself away in his apartment. No matter how safe he felt. 

So, hands shaking, heart hammering, Azriel pressed the call button and placed his phone to his ear. 

Time seemed to slow. The ringing in his ear going on forever. 

In reality however, she picked up on the third ring.

“Hello?” She answered. 

Adrenaline spiked through Azriel. For all of his anxiety about making the phone call, he hadn’t actually thought through what he would say when she picked up. Maybe he hadn’t really believed that she would. 

He felt sweat prick on his lip, his heart now pounding so hard it threatened to break free of the cage that were his ribs.

They had called to have a conversation, to get to know each other better than they could over messages, and yet every single thought emptied from Azriel’s head. What on earth did he say to her?

“Hello?” She repeated. 

Say something Azriel he screamed at himself. 

“Ugh…hi.”

_Smooth_. 

“Azriel?”

He closed his eyes. Her voice was light and airy. Soft. Kind. His name sounded nice falling from her mouth. 

“Yeah…Elain?”

“Yes! Hi!”

“Hi.”

Silence descended between them again. Azriel desperately tried to think of something to say. To try and remember something from their Swipe conversations, and still he was drawing a blank. 

“This is a bit awkward, isn’t it?” Elain giggled. 

The sound was so light and infectious that Azriel couldn’t help but huff a laugh. “Just a bit…I, ugh, don’t really know that to say.”

“Me neither.”

“I’ve never done this before.”

“Called some random woman from Swipe?”

“Ugh…talked to someone I don’t know on the phone.”

“No one?”

“At all.”

“What about when you order pizza?”

“I use an app.”

“What about when you have to call a plumper or your bank?”

“I have people for that.”

Elain laughed again “Ooooh okay Mr Bigshot? What do you mean you have people for that?”

“Ugh…well…I have an agent who looks after my affairs.”

“Oh wow, you really are a big shot.”

“No, not really.”

“So, are you some sort of Ward of the State?”

It was Azriel’s turn to laugh. “No, I’m perfectly capable of looking after my own affairs…I just don’t.”

Silence fell between them again, but there was less panic coursing through Azriel now. 

“Azriel,” Elain whispered after a moment.

“Yeah?”

“Do you want to video call?”

“Eh—.”

“So we can actually see each other’s faces, it might be a bit…less weird?”

Azriel paused for a moment, considering. Actually, maybe it would be easier if he could see her face, read her expressions. “Yeah okay.”

“Okay. I’ll call you right back.”

“Okay.

“Okay.”

There was another pause, and Azriel was sure he heard Elain take a deep breath before the line went dead. 

He pulled his phone away from his ear and stared at it. His world somehow seemed greyer after speaking to Elain than it had before. Like she was the colour and light he was missing. 

In an eruption of light, startling Azriel and causing his just settled heart to again pick up its hammering, his phone displayed and incoming call from a number he presumed belonged to Elain. 

He punched the accept button. “Hey!”

Elain’s face filled the screen. 

Azriel’s pounding heart skipped for a second. 

She was stunning. 

Soft brown-blonde hair fell in waves framing her heart shaped face. Her eyes were big and brown, doe-like. With high cheekbones and soft pouty lips her beauty was soft, adorable. 

Azriel felt the binds he chained around his heart loosen. 

“Oooh,” she squeaked, “You’re in the dark?”

“Oh sorry,” he said as he stumbled from his bed, to try and find the light switch.

“Azriel?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you not want me to see your face?”

“Ugh—.”

“Because your profile pictures seem purposefully obscured. You suggested calling rather than meeting up at first. You hesitated when I asked if you want to video call. Now your room is dark?”

“No, I—.”

“If there is something wrong with your face, if you have scarring or something, I don’t—.”

Azriel’s fingers found the switch, light illuminating the room. He grinned at Elain’s sweet face twisted in a frown, her expression then turning to one of surprise.

“Oh!” She whispered, “Very beautiful.”

Azriel only grinned wider as she caught herself, even on the screen he could see the pink blush that flooded her cheeks. 

“I mean,” she stumbled over her words, “Not beautiful, just that…well…eh…not that it's not beautiful, just that…there’s nothing wrong with—.”

“Elain?”

“I just mean that I don’t see why you would hide your face,” she finally exclaimed. 

“Thank you,” he said, chuckling at how flustered she had become. 

“Why did you hide your face?”

“Oh eh…”Azriel hesitated. 

Elain didn’t appear to recognise him. He didn’t want her impression of him to change if she knew what he did for a living. 

Then again, hadn’t he lectured Cassian only yesterday about how it was important to be his authentic self. And wasn’t Cassian, not having taken his advice on board, now sitting on Azriel’s couch watching endless reality TV and eating chocolate? 

“Yeah, I didn’t want to make myself too easily recognisable just in case.”

“In case of what?”

“So…I don’t really know how to say this without sounding pretentious so I’m just going to say it.”

“Okay?” There was a lightness to Elain’s voice, like she was laughing. 

“Do you know who I am?”

“Eh…aside from the guy I matched with on Swipe, no. I don’t know anything about you.”

“Good! That ugh…makes a change. See Elain, a lot of people in this town know me…I…do you like hockey?”

“Hockey?”

“Yeah.”

“Not especially.”

“So you don’t follow the Velaris Black Wings?”

“No.”

“Oh…well…I joined the team this season. It was kind of a big signing, publicity-wise.”

“Oh my gods!” Elain exclaimed. 

Azriel felt his stomach drop. This was going to go either one of two ways and both were bad for him. One, she was going to be wooed by his money and fame. To want to get close to him because of that. Not give a damn about him as a person. The second option, was that she would want nothing to do with him, because of the money and the fame. Not to be able to see past those things to the person he was. 

He held his breath waiting for Elain to say something further. To reveal which of the two she was. 

“You’re such a liar.”

His heart sank. 

Gods this was impossible. 

Maybe he should give up on the whole dating thing until he was retired and happily back hiding in the Illyrian mountains. Although from Cassian’s reports, there wasn’t much hope there either.

“Elain—.”

“You are a Mr Bigshot!” 

Azriel paused, the breath leaving him in a sudden rush. She was neither enamoured or repulsed…she was joking with him?

He smiled at her shyly through the screen. 

“I can totally see, why you would want to keep your identity private,” she continued. 

“Yeah, I just don’t want to attract a lot of attention if I can avoid it.” 

“Makes sense.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

They lapsed back into silence. An easy one this time, as they smiled at each other. 

It was Azriel who broke it, “Nice plant.”

“Oh this?” Elain moved to look at the leafy thing that was sprawling behind her shoulder. “Thanks, I’m nursing it back to health.”

“Forget to water it?”

“No, I found it in my sister’s coffee shop, dying. I asked her to smuggle it out for me so I could save it.”

Azriel chuckled, those chains around his heart slackening once more. “You like plants?”

“I love to grow things. To see little seedlings emerge from the soil, so brave, to grow into trees big and tall, or flowers bright and beautiful,” she shrugged blushing slightly, “It’s nice.”

“Maybe I should get some plants to liven up my apartment, it’s pretty grey…minimalist apparently.”

“Oh you absolutely should!”

And with that Elain launched into a discussion about which plants did best in what environments and which ones might suit his apartment best. 

Azriel leaned back on his bed, head against the pillow, content to listen to her talk for hours. 


	7. Chapter Six

“How’s Swipe going?”

Tonight the three sisters were at Elain’s house, and after eating the delicious meal she had cooked, they had retired to the living room with a bottle of wine. Naturally, a conversation about dating soon followed.

Nesta smiled at her youngest sister, curled up on the sofa, who had asked the question. “I’m having fun.”

“Ooooh, what does that mean?” Feyre asked, her eyes alighting. No one loved gossip more than the littlest Archeron sister.

“Yes, tell us about your dates,” Elain pipped up.

“Okay, okay, so there have been four guys in the past two weeks.”

“Four!”

Nesta laughed, “I know, but after Thomas…it’s nice.”

“Oh hey, no judgement here! Get it girl.” Feyre said with a smile.

“So the first guy, Eris, it was fine. We just went for drinks and then back to his. I left straight after and I think he got the message.”

“Cold.”

Nesta shrugged. “The second guy, Devlin, was the same deal. Drinks, hooked up, he messaged me a couple of times afterwards but I’ve just ignored him. It just wasn’t that good.”

“Brutal.”

“The third guy, Helion, we’ve been out twice now. He’s…”

“Handsome?”

“Kind?”

“Phenomenal in bed.”

“Nesta!” Elain shrieked.

Feyre erupted in laugher “You slut.”

Nesta rolled her eyes, “You told me a moment to go ‘get it’”

“Clearly you have been!”

“I said I’ve been having fun.”

“You deserve it, especially after Thomas,” Elain said.

“Thanks,” Nesta smiled at her sister.

“So what about the fourth guy?” Feyre asked.

Nesta sighed, “Cassian.”

“How was he in bed?”

“I wouldn’t know.”

“Oh? One you didn’t sleep with?”

“No.”

“Why? What happened?” Elain asked.

“Yeah, we’ve learnt tonight that you’d sleep with anyone,” Feyre chided.

Nesta just ignored her little sister, she got like this sometimes when they were drinking together. “So we matched, started talking, and all was going well. He was really handsome in his pictures, and charming over message, but when we met up—.”

“Was he a catfish?”

“No! Well…not exactly. He was the guy from the pictures alright, but he was not what I was expecting at all. He was very nervous and I think he wanted to impress me so badly that I didn’t actually meet the guy I had been messaging. He was so flustered he ended up dropping his main course all over himself, and then at the end he didn’t have enough money to cover the bill so I had to pay it. Total disaster really.”

“That’s a shame,” Elain said.

“Men are so disappointing, aren’t they? Helion seems like a much better option,” added Feyre.

“That’s just the thing though, terrible date aside, I liked him the most out of all four.”

“So are you going to see him for a second date?” Feyre asked.

“Maybe he just needs a second chance to overcome his nerves,” Elain said.

“You are kind of intimidating Nes,” Feyre agreed.

Nesta sighed again, “I kinda wanted to see him again, but he never messaged me after.”

“What?”

“He didn’t text me after the date, so I guess he’s not interested.”

“Oh my Gods Nesta, did you message him?” Feyre exclaimed.

“No…why would I message him?”

“Because, if the date went as badly as you say, he probably didn’t want to humiliate himself any further by messaging you only to have you reject him or, worse, ignore his message.”

“Men are very prideful,” Elain added.

“I guess I didn’t think of it that way. I’ve never not have a guy message me afterwards.”

Feyre laughed again, “Oh Nes, you have so much to learn about dating.”

Nesta felt herself flush slightly. Thomas was the only person she had ever had a serious relationship with and they had been together for so long that she had missed the wild hedonism of her early 20s. In fact, the last time Nesta had been single was when she was at college and hooked up with the hottest guys on the university’s sports teams. And they had always text her the next day. But she had never before actively dated. Feyre was right, she didn’t know the first thing about dating. “I guess I do…so you think I should message him?”

“Definitely!”

“If you want to see him again, then yes.” Elain said.

Something sparked inside Nesta, a pang that she had been pointedly ignoring since her disastrous date with Cassian. “Okay…what do I say?”

The Feyre dictated a message while Nesta typed, only for the three sisters then to debate the merits of each word and phrase for some time before they finally agreed. The lawyer in Nesta was proud.

**Hey Cassian, I just wanted to say that despite everything I had a really good time the other night. If you ever wanted to do something again, maybe more chill, I would up for that :)**

“My stomach is in knots,” Nesta said when she finally pressed the send button, “what if he doesn’t reply?”

“You really like him, don’t you?” Elain asked.

Nesta paused before answering, that spark in her chest glowing stronger as she thought about Cassian, about the rose he had bought her sitting in water on her bedside locker. “Yeah, I guess I do…I just really know why.”

“The heart wants what the heart wants.”

“Stupid thing.”

Elain giggled.

“Can we see a picture of him?” Feyre asked.

“Yeah,” Nesta pulled her phone from her back pocked and opened Cassian’s Swipe profile before passing it to her sister, “here.”

Feyre took the phone and immediately frowned.

“What?”

“He looks like someone.”

“Who?”

She didn’t answer.

Elain looked over Feyre’s shoulder at the picture of Cassian, “I feel like I’ve seen him before.”

“Maybe on Swipe?”

“Maybe.”

————

“How is Swipe going for you Elain?” Nesta asked.

Elain felt herself blush in response. She wasn’t as unreserved when it came to men as her sister. “Good.”

“Oh come on Elain, you can give us a little more than that,” Feyre lamented.

“Well,” Elain cleared her throat, “there are two guys actually.”

“Two!” Feyre let out a wolf whistle.

“Tell us about them,” Nesta asked.

Elain placed her wine glass down on the coffee table, settling herself on the couch she smoothed out the skirts of her dress, “The first guy is called Lucien, he’s 30 and he has just moved to Velaris for work. We went out for sushi a few nights ago and it went really well. He was so nice and I felt so comfortable with him. We were talking so much that I totally lost track of time and almost missed the last train.”

“That sounds really good Elain,” Nesta said encouragingly.

Elain knew her elder sister worried about her, especially with everything that had happened with Greyson, but she was working through that. “I was so nervous but he put me at ease. I even ate in front of him!”

“That’s incredible,” Nesta climbed out of the armchair she was curled up in and came to give Elain a hug, “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks,” she said smiling up at her sister.

“Do you think you’ll see him again?”

“Yeah, he asked me out again next week”

“I’m so excited for you!”

Elain knew she was blushing again, “Me too.”

“But there is another guy?” Feyre asked.

Elain smiled, hiding her face in her hands. “Gosh, this is so unlike me.”

“Oh come on, I told you about my four guys.”Nesta said, settling herself back into the armchair.

“I know…so his name is Azriel, he’s 30 as well, and has also just moved to Velaris.”

“You have a type then?” Feyre joked.

“Apparently I do.”

“How did that date go?” Nesta asked.

“Well, we haven’t actually been on an actual date.”

“Oh?”

“We had a phone date a few days ago and we literally spoke for five hours, it was so nice. He listened to me talk about plants for ages,” Elain blushed, “He calls me every night before bed now and we talk about our days.”

“You’re so cute it’s painful,” Feyre said.

“If he’s content to listen to you prattle on about plants, he must be keen,” Nesta said, “we know that’s a topic you can’t stop talking about once you get started.”

“I’ll have you know I was very restrained!” Elain laughed.

“Are you sure? He hasn’t asked you out yet?” Feyre said.

Elain knew her youngest sister was joking, but this was Elain’s worry too. The intrusive thoughts had been swirling around in her head since that first call with Azriel. Why hadn’t he asked her out? And yet, he had called her every night since. He seemed to take a real interest in her life. She had decided that he was just shy.

“Erm, well…I think he’s a bit shy.”

“Why don’t you ask him out?” Feyre asked, “We’ve already convinced Nesta to shoot her shot, why not you?”

“Oh gosh no I couldn’t do that.”

“Why not?”

Elain shook her head. She didn’t want to tell her sisters what Azriel had revealed to her, as to why he was so careful about his privacy. She was sure that her sisters would knew who he was if she told them that he played hockey for Velaris, even if she hadn’t. Besides she didn’t want to force him to go anywhere or do anything if he didn’t instigated it, especially if there was a risk the paparazzi might show up. She wouldn’t want to cause him the embarrassment of being photographed with her. 

“Do you think,” she said instead, “that it’s okay for me to date two people at the same time?”

“Oh my Gods, of course!” Feyre said.

“If you’re not in a committed relationship with anyone, then what you do or who you see is not anyone else’s business,” agreed Nesta.

“You don’t think it’s disloyal?”

“Absolutely not,” said Feyre.

“Elain, you’ve been through so much, especially with…” Nesta trailed off.

“He who must not be named?” offered Feyre.

“Yes! After him, you deserve to take some time for yourself, to date different people to figure out what it is that you want. These guys seem nice, just enjoy it for what it is.”

Elain smiled at her sisters, “You’re right, I am allowed to ‘play the field’ for a while, aren’t I?”

Feyre snorted, “Please never use the term ‘play the field’ ever again.”

————

“And what about you Feyre, last time we were here you didn’t even mention a guy, now you have a boyfriend,” Elain said.

Feyre had kept her sisters updated via their group chat about all of the changes in her life, but this is the first time she had seen them since she had met Tamlin, since she had acquired a boyfriend, and taken the first steps on her new career.

“Tamlin, yes! Gods I don’t even know where to start he is just so amazing. I can’t wait for you both to meet him.”

“We can’t wait to meet him either,” Elain said, “Maybe we can all get dinner one day next week.”

“Yes, let me text him now and ask if there is a day he is free. His schedule can be a bit intense.”

“What is it he does again?” Nesta asked.

“He runs his own property company. Spring Court Developments.”

Feyre caught her eldest sister frown, but she said nothing.

Choosing to ignore whatever that was about, Feyre pulled her phone from her pocket and typed a quick message to Tamlin.

**Hey baby, my sisters can’t wait to meet you. Would you be free one day this week? x**

Tamlin replied almost instantly. Sometimes Feyre wondered whether, when they were apart, he sat waiting for her messages.

**Of course, set something up and I can move my calendar around to suit xxx**

**Omg amazing! You’re the best x**

**Are you having a nice time with your sisters? xxx**

**Yes we’re just catching up x**

**Okay, I miss you. Let me know when you want me to pick you up xxx**

**I’ll text you in a bit x**

**Don’t drink too much xxx**

Feyre looked up from her phone focusing her attention back on her two sisters who appeared to be having a silent conversation with just their eyes.

“Tamlin says any day next week will work.”

“Okay, how about Thursday?” Elain proposed, “I have my date with Lucien on Wednesday so I can let you know how it goes.”

“Works for me,” Nesta replied.

“Sounds good. Where do you guys want to go?”

“What about the Rainbow?” Suggested Nesta.

“Oh yes you love it there,” Elain agreed.

Feyre hesitated, “I do…but Tamlin doesn’t really like places like that.”

“Where does he like to eat?”

“His favourite restaurant is Under the Mountain.”

Feyre definitely didn’t miss the face that Nesta made this time, “What?” She asked.

“Under the Mountain is always full of the worst kind of people, obnoxious finance bros and the likes,” Nesta replied with a dramatic eye roll.

“You mean the kind of people you work with,” Feyre rebutted, she didn’t like the slight Nesta had made about Tamlin. They hadn’t even met yet and the eldest Archeron sister appeared to dislike Tamlin. Nesta could be such a bitch sometimes, judging people without evening meeting them, and Tamlin was so amazing he didn’t deserve her judgement.

To her credit, Nesta didn’t rise. “He probably likes the Weavers Cottage then? We could go there.”

Feyre nodded. She had never been to the Weavers Cottage but she knew its reputation. “Let me ask him.”

**Weaver’s Cottage on Thursday for dinner?**

Again his reply was almost instant.

**Sounds good, want me to book? Xxx**

**Yes, if you wouldn’t mind x**

**I’ll get us a good table xxx**

**Tks x**

“Tamlin is going to book a table, he said he can get us a good one.”

“Eeee I can’t wait for this now,” Elain said clapping her hands together. Clearly the wine had begun to hit her.

“I could have got us a good table too, you know.” Nesta said.

Elain shot her a look.

“Yeah well Tamlin can probably get us a better one, with his connections and all.” Feyre said to her sister with a sweet smile that didn’t match her tone.

“If you say so.”

“So tell us, more about Tamlin. I want to know it all. The story so far!” Elain, ever the peacemaker, interrupted,

“From the beginning?”

“Yes, we only know what you have said in texts, which hasn’t been much.”

“Okay from the beginning! We matched on Swipe, obviously, it was actually the day after we last had drinks.”

“That was what, two weeks ago?” Nesta asked.

“Yeah, I was hungover and struggling in work. I saw we matched on my break and we started chatting. He asked me out for that night.”

“That was quick.”

“Yeah I guess so, but it’s good to meet people quickly. Otherwise you risk having a great connection via text but nothing in real life.”

“I tend to agree, but you mustn’t have known much about him at all if you had only matched that morning?”

“It was fine, we were going to meet in a public place anyway so if he turned out not to be who he said he was I could have just left.”

Nesta just nodded vaguely, a notification on her phone catching her attention.

“So we met for dinner,” Feyre continued, “and it was wonderful. Tamlin was even better than I expected. I remember walking up to him and thinking dang he’s so handsome, and then we started chatting and not only was he charming and funny, and we got on so well, but then out of the blue he just offered to get my a job at the gallery.”

Nesta’s head shot up, her attention back on the conversation. “He just offered you a job?”

“Well he said he had connections and could get me any job I wanted.”

“After you just met him?”

“Yeah, we were maybe 20 minutes into our date or something at that point.”

“Doesn’t that seem a bit strange to you?”

“No I don’t think so. I was complaining about my job, and I guess he wanted to impress me.”

“Hummm.”

A notification on Feyre’s own phone caught her attention this time, she didn’t hear if Nesta said anything further. The message was from Tamlin.

**It’s getting late Feyre, tell me when you want me to come and pick you up xxx**

**I’m still just hanging with my sisters x**

“The date went really well. He paid for the meal and everything, he was such a gentleman. Then he ended up coming home with me, but nothing happened that first night, we just spooned. He left the next morning, while I was pretending to be asleep and I thought I would never see him again, but he came back a while later, all showered and in fresh clothes, with breakfast for us.”

“Oh wow, that is so nice,” Elain cooed.

“Yeah, I remember thinking he was so handsome and put together and I was a total mess after two nights in a row of drinking, but he didn’t seem to be put off.” Feyre chuckled.

**I don’t want to drive in the dark. Will you be much longer? Xxx**

**I can get a taxi if you don’t want to drive? x**

“We’ve basically been inseparable ever since.”

**Don’t be ridiculous Feyre, of course I’m going to come to pick my girlfriend up xxx**

“We went out again the next night, and he stayed over again. We did a lot more than spoon that night though and I think I just became more infatuated with him.”

“Orgasms will do that,” Nesta quipped.

“Yes, they will.”

Elain giggled awkwardly.

**Okay, if you’re sure :) I probably won’t be too much longer x**

**I’m just going to leave now and drive over. I’ll wait outside in the car, you can come out whenever you’re ready xxx**

“The next day was Monday so he was able to call his contacts and got me the job at the gallery.”

“That’s so incredible,” Elain said, “I’ve never had a guy do something like that for me.”

“Elain, your experiences with men have hardly been positive,” replied Nesta.

“True. It’s just very reassuring to know that there are good guys like Tamlin out there.”

“I really have found a good one,” Feyre said. Something close to pride swelled in her chest at Elain’s confirmation of all the good things that she thought about Tamlin.

“You really have.”

“So that first week, after getting the job offer, I called the coffeeshop and quit. Tamlin moved his work meetings around so we could spend all of our time together. We didn’t leave my apartment, didn’t stray further than my bedroom if I’m being totally honest.”

“Now who’s the slut?” Nesta teased.

“I was just following the example my eldest sister set,” Feyre laughed, “besides I was with one man, not spreading myself around Velaris.”

“My littlest sister shouldn’t be having sex at all thank you very much.”

“Oh please—.”

“So how did Tamlin ask you to be his girlfriend?” Elain interrupted, always one to steer the conversation away from sex and back to romance.

Feyre laughed at her sister’s prudishness.

**I’m outside xxx**

**That was quick x**

**The roads were empty xxx**

“I wanted to get some new clothes ahead of starting my job. You know how most of the clothes I have are covered in paint from when I was at university.”

“Not ideal for starting a fancy gallery job.”

“Exactly. Tamlin came shopping with me, but he didn’t like anything that I picked out—.”

“What do you mean he didn’t like what you picked out?” Nesta asked.

“Well, he was just offering his opinion as he knows about these things.”

“What things are these exactly?”

“You know…how to dress professionally and stuff.”

“You could have asked me,” Nesta said.

“I know, but Tamlin was there and I wanted to spend the day with him.”

“Young love,” her sister smiled.

“And he has good taste, he told me what suited me and what didn’t.”

“Of course.”

“We were in the changing room at H&N and he said something about wanting his girlfriend to look good on her first day, and I was like ‘excuse me, girlfriend?’ and that’s when he asked me.”

Warmth flooded through Feyre at the memory of how sweet Tamlin had been that day.

“Aww that’s so cute,” Elain said, “very spontaneous.”

**How long are you going to make me wait Feyre? Xxx**

**Sorry, I’ll be right out! We’re just finishing up x**

“Eh, yeah it was…” Feyre looked up from her phone at her two sisters curled up under blankets. They looked so comfortable, relaxed with wine in hand. Feyre wished she could stay and keep catching up with them, but Tamlin had been so kind to drive over to pick her up from Elain’s and she didn’t want him waiting outside for too long. “I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to go now.”

“Oh no, why?” Elain asked, jumping up from her seat.

“Tamlin is waiting outside, and he doesn’t really like driving in the dark.”

Nesta quirked an eyebrow, “It’s already dark out.”

“I know, but I don’t want to keep him waiting. I’ll see you on Thursday for dinner though?”

“Yes definitely,” Elain said, sweeping Feyre up into a hug.

“For sure,” Nesta said, climbing out of her armchair to wrap her arms around both of her sister.

“Great, looking forward to it.”

————

Cassian sat bolt upright on the couch he was lounging on. Rhys and Azriel looked over at him in alarm.

“Hey Cassian, I just wanted to say that despite everything I had a really good time the other night. If you ever wanted to do something again, maybe more chill next time, I would up for that. Smily face,” he read out loud.

“Who’s that from?” Rhys asked.

“Nesta!” Cassian said, his heart pounding his chest as he read the words over and over.

“Who?”

“The girl from the other night, the one he’s been moping over,” Azriel said.

“Oh.”

“She had a really good time?” Cassian asked, looking at his friends.

“See brother, I told you it didn’t go as badly as you thought it did,” Rhys said.

“No, it definitely did…but she liked it?”

“She probably liked getting to know you.”

Azriel shook his head, “Or she could see through your fancy man guise, and is willing to give you another shot.”

Cassian looked at his friend, always so perceptive was Azriel. “I never thought about that…”

“I wouldn’t have given you another chance,” Rhys smirked.

“Just as well I’m not trying to date you then, isn’t it?” Cassian said, lobbing a couch cushion in Rhysand’s direction.

Ignoring whatever his friends said next, Cassian typed out a reply.

**Hey Nesta, I have to admit I am kinda surprised to hear from you, I thought our date went pretty badly. Not you, obviously! You were amazing. I just thought I blew it haha I would love to do something again, just let me know when you’re free :)**

Her reply came a few, nerve wracking minutes later.

**I was amazing, that’s why I was surprised when you didn’t text the next day.**

**I agonised over texting you I won’t lie, but I just thought it was too embarrassing.**

**It would have been, but definitely less embarrassing than me texting you first.**

**No! I like a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go get it. Honestly it’s hot as hell.**

**I never said I wanted you Cassian, I’m just giving you a second chance at a first impression ;)**

**Right, of course sweetheart ;) So since I made a mess of planning our first date, how about you arrange our second?**

**How am I the one doing all the work here?**

**Don’t pretend like you don’t like being in charge :P**

Nesta’s next message took longer to arrive. The three dots appeared and disappeared a few times before her response finally came.

**I was thinking we could do something more relaxed than dinner. A hike maybe?**

**Sounds good! When?**

**I’m pretty busy this week, so next weekend?**

**Yeah I’m basically free whenever :)**

**Cool, I’ll let you know closer to the time.**

**Cool :)**

Cassian let the chat die then. He didn’t want to appear too eager. But he would message Nesta later tonight, to find out how her days had been since they last spoke. He liked talking to her, hearing about her life. There was no way he was going back to silence until they met next weekend.

This time, Cassian promised himself, he wasn’t going to fuck it up.

————

Azriel watched Cassian stretch back out on his couch, grinning at his phone. Clearly Nesta had replied positively to whatever Cass had said.

Azriel had to admit he was surprised that Nesta had got back in touch with Cassian after his friend had told him what a disaster their date had been. For it was Azriel who Cassian had called to ask to transfer money into his account when the bill had turned out to be even more than Cass had been expecting.

But then, Nesta didn’t seem like the kind of girl who Azriel was used to meeting. For instance, when Cass had returned to the table he discovered that Nesta had picked up the tab. If that had been one of the girls his hockey buddies wanted to set him up with, she would have thrown a tantrum and stormed out of the restaurant sooner than reach into her own purse. Then again, the only reason such a girl would have gone on a date with Azriel in the first place is because of who he is…and the money he has.

It was nice to know that there were people out there who care about more than just fame and money.

Given, despite the disastrous date, that Nesta had messaged Cassian asking to go out again suggested that there might actually be something between them. Az hoped this was the case for his friend’s sake. He had never seen Cassian make puppy dog eyes at anyone before, let alone his phone. The boy had it bad.

He watched Cassian for a moment longer before he announced to his friends the thing that he had wanted to tell them for the past few days, but had been hesitating to say aloud. “I’ve met someone.”

Cassian dropped his phone like a hot potato. Rhys froze his mouth open, beer halfway to his face.

The pair stared at him.

Azriel knew he was blushing under their gaze.

It was Cassian who recovered first, “Sorry, did you just say that you have met someone?”

“Yes.”

“Like a woman?”

“Yes.”

“A human woman?”

“Yes.”

Cassian blinked a few times, as if he could not quite process the information. “Who?”

“Ugh…” Azriel coughed, clearing the lump that had formed in his throat. “Her name is Elain.”

“How did you meet her?” Rhys asked.

“Swipe.”

“Sorry what was that, I didn’t quite catch it?”

“Swipe.”

“The dating app, Swipe?”

“Yes.”

“You made a dating profile?”

“Yes.”

“To trawl for women?”

“Well no, I wasn’t trawling for women that sounds creepy and gross. You both had got dates through it and I just thought why not give it a try. I don’t even have to leave the house.” Azriel shrugged.

“But you left the house to meet this woman?”

“Eh no.”

“But you’ve met her?”

“Well not in person.”

“Okay…I’m going to need some more information here Az.”

Azriel’s cheeks flamed again. “We had a phone date a few days ago, and we’ve talked everyday since.”

“When did you get the chance to talk to her? I’ve been here all of the time.” Cassian asked.

“Remember the other day when I said I was coming down with a migraine?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, then.”

“You cheeky bastard! I knew there was nothing wrong with you. You were up in your room for hours though.”

“Yeah we talked for like five hours, that first call.”

“Wow, that’s a good sign.”

“But you haven’t actually met her?” Rhys asked, frowning.

“No.”

“So when you said you’d met someone?”

“He means he’s got a potential someone,” Cassian answered.

“She’s more than a potential someone, I like her.”

“But you haven’t met her,” Rhys said again.

“You’re very hung up on this point, brother.”

Rhys shot a look at Cassian who nodded in response. “Az, man, we’re delighted that you’re putting yourself out there, getting to know this girl, but you can’t do it all from your apartment. At some point you’re going to have to go outside, meet her in person.”

“I know.”

“Do you?”

“Yes, but I’m going to do it at my own pace, I won’t be pressured by you two into it.”

Rhys made another face at Cassian, “We’re not trying to pressure you, but Az your pace is glacial. If you really do like this girl then do something about it, don’t lose her to some other guy who is willing to act.”

“What Rhys is trying to say,” Cassian interjected, “Is that we don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“Yes, and the longer you build her up in your head, the more likely that is going to happen. I guarantee you that she is not sitting around waiting for you to call, she’s out there, going on dates with guys trying to decide which one she likes the most to pursue something with.”

Ringing sounded in Azriel’s ears as his limbs went cold. “You really think she’s dating other guys?”

“Almost certainly.”

Cassian nodded, “Girls get more action on these apps than we do.”

“I hadn’t thought about that,” Azriel said, the realisation dawning on him that maybe Elain wasn’t as keen on him as he was on her. Maybe she was out there dating other guys. Could he ask her that on their next call or would that come across as too needy, too possessive? The thoughts roared so loudly in his head that he almost missed Cassian’s next words.

“Just don’t fall in love with her in your head, meet her, date her, see where it goes. If it’s meant to be it will work out.”

There was a long pause while he let his friend’s words sink in. “Okay,” he said at last, “I’ll think about it.”

————

Rhys sat back in his arm chair watching his two friends. They had both picked up their phones again and were typing away. Presumably messaging their respective love interests.

Rhys had to admit that he was envious.

After two weeks of going to the coffee shop, sometimes twice a day, he finally admitted defeat and asked one of the waif-ish twins where Feyre was.

She quit, the waif told him and Rhys had felt something unpleasant slide deep into his stomach. Where had she gone, Rhys had asked, hoping that maybe she had ended up at a coffee shop closer to his office, but the waif didn’t know.

He couldn’t explain the draw he felt towards Feyre, although he knew it was becoming increasingly unhealthy. He’d searched her name and what little he knew about her on every social media site he could think of, but without a last name the results were random and essentially worthless.

‘Essentially’ worthless, because he had actually found a great artist by the same first name and he had ordered some of her paintings for Azriel who always complained about how grey his new apartment was. Hopefully the bright colour canvasses would cheer his friend up if nothing else.

As for his Feyre, maybe Az wasn’t the only one who should listen to Cassian’s advice. If it was meant to be, then it would work itself out. At least that was the last bit of hope that Rhys could comfort himself with.


	8. Chapter Seven

“Are you nervous about tonight?”

“Of course!”

“Why?”

“I want you to like them.”

“Feyre,” Tamlin said, catching her wrist to stop her as they walked along the street towards the Weaver’s Cottage.

Feyre looked up at her tall, handsome boyfriend. He had dressed impeccably tonight, in a dark navy suit and crisp white shirt. His golden hair was pulled back into a long ponytail. He radiated control. Totally at odds with the jittery nervousness that Feyre knew she exuded.She placed her hands on those broad shoulders of his, to centre herself.

“I am going to love your sisters. They’re your family, and I love you very much.”

A thrill went through Feyre at those words. They were still so new to them. Whispered in bed for the first time only a few nights ago.

She hadn’t known what love felt like until she met Tamlin, but now she knew for sure that was what she felt.

It was electric.

Like standing on the edge of a cliff about to jump and not know whether you were going to plunge into the icy depths below or soar into the sky. It was the adrenaline that kept her on edge.

It was what it felt to be alive.

She smiled back at Tamlin, “You truly are the best, you know that, don’t you? I cannot put into words how you make me feel. I love you.”

“I think you just did,” Tamlin said with a chuckle, before leaning down and pressing his lips lightly to hers.

Feyre broke the kiss a moment later, swatting away his handsy protests. “Come on now,” she said, linking her arm through his, “Let’s go meet my sisters.”

Thankfully, they were the first to arrive. It allowed them to get settled at the table, and for Feyre to order a large glass of wine before Elain appeared, followed soon after by Nesta.

Introductions were made, Tamlin graciously kissing both sisters on the cheek while Feyre swept both her sisters into hugs. “He’s very handsome,” Elain had whispered in Feyre’s ear while they embraced.

The conversation that followed once everyone was seated was polite if awkward. Everyone muttered general comments about how good the food looked and what they were debating ordering.

Feyre knew a cross examination of Tamlin was coming, but her sisters held off at least until the food was ordered.

As soon as the waiter had disappeared, did Nesta begin her assault.

“Tamlin, Feyre tells me you work for Spring Court Developments?”

“I own the company actually.”

“Wow, that seems like an impressive thing to have achieved for someone so young.”

“I started working straight out of college and worked my way up.” Tamlin’s hand found Feyre’s leg, he began brushing lazy strokes up and down her thigh.

“You didn’t inherent the company from your father?”

“Well I—.”

“I thought I recognised your family name, and then when Feyre told me who you worked for…”

“I work for myself, Spring Court Developments is my company.”

“Gifted to you by Daddy.”

“My father trained me from a young age. It was always his intention that I would take over the company as my own.”

“That’s still very different from building the company up from the ground on your own, like you told Feyre.”

Tamlin’s hand stilled on Feyre’s leg. “Spring Court Developments has expanded exponentially under my command.”

“Perhaps, but if it weren’t for your father’s money you would not be in the position you are now.”

His fingers began digging into the flesh of her upper thigh. “I’m not going to apologise for the hard work of my parents.”

“The hard work of your parents is not the issue in question here.”

Tamlin’s lip curled up into a snarl.

Feyre knew he was holding his temper on a short leash.

Perhaps, gripping it as tightly as he gripped her leg.

Feyre tried covertly to shake him off, she was going to have bruises tomorrow if he didn’t realise his hold soon. But Tamlin remained oblivious to her attempts to escape his grasp.

“Tamlin,” she hissed but he didn’t notice.

His attention was focused totally on Nesta, the vain in his forehead twitching.

“If you are suggesting that I am some sort of wastrel who just lives off my parent’s money and does no work of my own, you are sorrily mistaken.” His voice was controlled, icy, but there was no mistaking the rage that bubbled just beneath.

“I—.”

Tamlin didn’t pause to listen to Nesta’s comeback. “If that were the case, then I would have run my father’s company into the ground by now,instead, I think you will find that Spring Court Developments is thriving. It is a very different beast from the company my father started all those years ago, but I promise you it is very much my company.”

Elain and Feyre exchanged a worried look, as Nesta took another swing. “Do you think your father would be proud of what you’ve turned his company into?”

The growl Tamlin emitted wasn’t enough to stop her though. “The company your father started all those years ago focused on building affordable houses for young families in a growing city. The company his that son runs today is more concerned with forcing those very families out of their homes so the land can be used to build condos for business men who don’t even live here.”

Something like realisation flashed across Tamlin’s face, reducing his boiling temper to a simmer he could once again exert control over. “And whom, may I ask, do you work for?”

“Amren and Associates.”

“Lawyers.” Tamlin breathed, sitting back in his chair.

Feyre frowned, looking between Nesta and Tamlin. Clearly there was more going on in this conversation than she understood. She made a mental note to ask Tamlin about it later.

The waiters appeared at their table with their starters, giving Feyre the perfect opportunity to change the direction of the conversation.

“Elain,” she said, louder than she had anticipated, but both Nesta and Tamlin’s focus snapped to her, “tell us about your date last night.”

“Oh yes!” Elain’s face lit up, blushing slightly as she picked at her food. “Last night was my second date with Lucien. It went really well.”

“What did you guys do?” Nesta asked, her attention now focused on Elain, she ignored Tamlin who continued to brood in her direction.

“It was so lovely, he brought me for a walk through the Velaris botanical gardens so we could watch the sunset and then we went and got Italian food.”

“Brought you to the botanics? It sounds like he has been really paying attention when you talk,” Feyre said.

Elain blushed, “I had told him that I loved the botanical gardens, but I don’t think he realised quite how much until we got there.”

“Did you go all Elain on him?”

“All Elain?” Tamlin asked.

“I can’t help it, I see flowers and I just start spilling everything I know about them,” Elain said.

“That must have been quite boring for him,” Tamlin said, taking a bite of his roll.

Nesta’s head shot around to look at him, her mouth open as if she was going to rebut his comment, but she caught the warning look the Feyre shot her in time and refrained from saying anything.

Elain frowned. “I don’t think he was bored…at least he pretended to look interested.”

“Some men will do anything to get laid.”

Elain put down her fork and blinked at Tamlin, “We haven’t had sex.”

“But he wants to.”

Elain blushed furiously, whatever she was about to say next died on her tongue as her mouth opened and closed like a fish.

It was Nesta who jumped in, “Is that why you got Feyre her job, so she’d sleep with you.”

Tamlin swallowed what he was chewing, shaking his head. “No, don’t you listen?”

Feyre froze at the tone he used towards her sister. Nesta too had gone ridged, it was shock, Feyre was sure, at being spoken to like that, that prevented Nesta from replying.

The gap in conversation however allowed Tamlin to continue. “I said, some men are like that, but not all men.”

“I don’t think Lucien is like that,” Elain murmured but Tamlin ignored her.

“I knew when I met Feyre that she would have slept with me if I asked. She was clearly the kind of girl you could get into bed if you bought her dinner.”

Feyre’s head whipped to look at Tamlin. She never knew that he thought about her in such a derogatory manner, let alone speak out loud about her like that…and to her family. It was mortifying. Tears sprang to her eyes.

But Tamlin continued, “I’m a very spiritual man, I listen to a podcast series by a priestess, her name is Ianthe, you probably don’t know her. The podcasts are for women but I find I get a great deal out of them. I learn about how women think, how they feel, and how I can attune myself to the needs of women.”

Nesta stared at Tamlin, blinking, clearly trying to suppress a laugh.

Feyre felt hot, her breath shaky as the tears still burned at her eyes.

“One of Ianthe’s seminal works is about only giving yourself sexually to those who you connect with spiritually. I knew within moments of meeting Feyre that she was someone I could give myself to in every way.” He looked down at Feyre then, with that soft smile and loving eyes that cracked something in Feyre’s chest. The hurt that she felt immediately disappeared, and as Tamlin’s hand began moving on Feyre’s thigh again, the sticky heat became something altogether more pleasant.

“I practice what is called no fap.”

Nesta choked on the water she had been taking a sip of in an attempt to regain her composure.

“What is that?” Elain asked.

“I abstain from masturbation.” Tamlin said plainly, “So that first night, when I spilled my gentlemen's mayonnaise into your sister, it was like being elevated to another plane of existence.”

Nesta seemed to be having some sort of break down, her eyes wide, she gawked at Tamlin, her mouth appeared to be forming the words “gentlemen’s mayonnaise” over and over.

Elain meanwhile had turned a shade of puce.

There was a long pause, before Feyre decided to push through the awkwardness. With a long drink from her wine glass she launched into an excruciatingly detailed monologue about her day in the gallery. When she finally finished, the main course had arrived and normal, first meeting, chitchat resumed. Everyone was keen to stay away from topics that risked igniting tempers again.

As the waiters cleared their main course, Nesta turned to Elain and asked, “So what about the other guy you were seeing, is Lucien in the lead at the moment?”

“Azriel?” Elain shook her head, “No, he’s still very much in contention. We’re actually having dinner together at the weekend.”

“So you’re finally going to meet your mysterious man?”

“Yes, although he’s hardly mysterious at this point. I feel like I know him with how much we talk.”

“Do you know where he’d taking you yet?”

“No not yet, he said he’d send me the address before hand. I think he wants it to be a surprise.”

“Make sure you turn your location on, so I can see where you are.”

“I always do.”

“I just worry about you, especially when you’re with strange men from the internet.”

“A bit of a slut are you, Elain?” Tamlin’s words cracked like a whip through the air. Tempers which had cooled during the course of their dinner immediately reignited.

“How dare you speak to my sister like that,” Nesta hissed, her top lip curling back to expose her teeth.

“It would explain why you look like that,” Tamlin said, gesturing to Elain.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Nesta was on her feet now, voice rising. People at other tables looked over to see what the disturbance was.

“Let’s not make a scene now Nesta,” Tamlin said condescendingly.

“How dare you! You know, I let the stuff earlier slide because you were talking about Feyre, disgusting as it was, it’s your relationship and who am I to get involved in that, but to speak to Elain like that, when you don’t even know her—.”

“Oh please, pretend all you like that you’re defending your sister’s honour when we both know—.”

“You disgust me,” she said drawing herself up to full height to sneer down at him, “Feyre, you know I love you, and I know that I can’t tell you how to live you life, but I refuse to sit here and listen to this for another moment. I’m leaving.” Grabbing her bag, Nesta pivoted on her heel and stormed out of the restaurant.

“Very dramatic your sister,” Tamlin said, watching her go.

“Emmm…I think I might go after her,” Elain whispered.

Feyre just nodded at Elain, how could she allow her sisters to be spoken to like that and by the man that she loved. They didn’t deserve that, especially not Elain, after everything she’d been through.

True, Tamlin didn’t know about that stuff, but it was still at best a reckless thing for him to say. At worst, it was cruel. 

It would be a wonder if his words didn’t send Elain into another downward spiral, and just when she seemed to be pulling herself up from the depths.

Nesta was right to storm out. Feyre only hoped that the sisters would lean on each other for support tonight.

“Talk to you tomorrow,” Elain whispered as she kissed Feyre on the cheek, her hand stroking her hair.

“Okay,” Feyre whispered, unsure of her ability to form a complete sentence, to say what she wanted to say to Elain, to comfort her, without breaking down completely.

Elain gave Tamlin a curt nod, which as Elain went, was as good as sticking her middle finger in his face, before hurrying out of the restaurant.

After a moment’s calm, a waiter appeared to check if everything was okay.

Tamlin ordered a banoffee pie for dessert.

They sat in terse silence as Tamlin ate it.

Bite by painfully slow bite.

“Your sister’s are certainly spirited,” Tamlin finally said, after they eventually left the restaurant.

Feyre trailed behind him as they walked down the street to where he had parked his car. Her leg hurt from where he had dug his fingers into it during that first confrontation with Nesta. It had been almost dead when she first stood up after Tamlin had, after what seemed like eons, decided it was time to go home.

Now she couldn’t keep up with his long strides.

“Oh for heavens sake Feyre, hurry up,” he snapped when he realised she was behind him.

“I—.” Her voice died on her lips, as he turned around to wait on her. One eyebrow raised in question. In challenge.

Feyre took a deep breath to steady herself, for a moment she felt brave standing up to Tamlin, “You hurt me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous Feyre, I didn’t hurt you.”

“You did, when you gripped my leg earlier it really hurts, and I know it’s going to bruise tomorrow so don’t tell me you didn’t hurt me when I can’t walk.”

Tamlin’s eyes went wide, he was in front of her in two strides, cupping her face in his hands pressing kisses to the corners of her mouth. “Feyre, baby, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I would never hurt you. It was an accident.”

The tears that Feyre had held back all night suddenly began flowing down her cheeks.

“Shhh, Feyre please don’t cry.”

“I know you didn’t mean to hurt me,” she hiccuped, “but you did.”

“It was an accident. I didn’t mean to. I would never hurt you baby, you mean everything to me.”

It was all coming out now, the confession that he had hurt her, the tears that she had repressed all night. She needed to get it all out. “Why were you so awful to my sisters?”

“Nesta was very rude to me.”

Feyre frowned, thinking back on the evening. Was Nesta rude? Or was she just being her brutally blunt self? “She wasn’t rude, she was looking out for me. She wanted to get to know you and to understand your intentions with me.”

“My intentions with you…Feyre, I didn’t want to do this now, or here.”

“What?”

In one moment Tamlin was standing in front of Feyre, his hands holding her face gently as he wiped the tears from under her eyes. The next he was on the ground, kneeling in front of her, pulling a little black box from the inside of his jacket.

Someone shrieked in the distance.

Feyre didn’t realise what was happening until he flipped open the lid to reveal the biggest diamond she had ever seen.

_Could he be?_

_No!_

_Surely not?_

“Marry me Feyre.”


	9. Chapter Eight

Cassian sat in his truck, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel in time with the music playing on the radio. It was some classic rock channel that his truck had picked up on the drive out of Velaris to the hiking trail where he had agreed to meet Nesta for their second date. 

He had been waiting for almost an hour. Not that Nesta was late, but because Cassian had arrived excessively early.

He had woken before his alarm that morning and was too restless to try and go back to sleep, so he had got up and padded around Azriel’s plush apartment making himself breakfast.

But even the elaborate spread he concocted disappeared sooner than he would have liked. He sat at Azriel’s kitchen table trembling with energy that he didn’t know what to do with.

After cleaning up, he decided to make himself useful. Locating Azriel’s tool box, which was some search, he set about hanging the paintings that Rhys had ordered to brighten up the grey minimalist box that Azriel lived in.

He had only drilled the first hole in the wall when Azriel emerged from his room, bleary-eyed and grumpy. “Cass, what are you doing?”

“Hanging the art Rhys bought.”

“I can see that, but do you need to do it before 8am on a Saturday?! The neighbours are going to complain.”

“Right, yeah. Sorry.”

“Why are you even up so early?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“Well, go watch TV or something.”

“Do you want to—.”

But Azriel had already retreated back into his room, presumably to hide under his duvet for another few hours.

Cassian closed the toolbox with a sigh.

Lying down on the floor he began scissoring his arms and legs, making dust angels, while trying to decide how best to kill his morning.

He wasn’t nervous about his second date with Nesta, for everything that could have gone wrong already had. Today’s date was a lucky second chance he didn’t think he was going to get, so he was determined that today Nesta was going to get to know the real him, and if she didn’t like it, well he didn’t lose anything he hadn’t already anyway.

Climbing off the floor, he headed for the bathroom.

He didn’t think he had ever showered before a hike, it was the kind of thing you did after you got all sweaty, but given this hike was really a date, turning up smelling ripe wouldn’t do him any favours.

He did however take the opportunity, while he stood under the warm cascade of water, to stroke himself to completion…twice. Nesta’s presence already did things to him, he didn’t need to add unreasonable levels of horniness to the mix.

After towelling off, he spent longer than necessary arranging his hair into a loose man bun, a style that Emerie always told him was sexy. He choose to assume she was an authority for all women and that Nesta would approve.

Grabbing his phone off the vanity, he sent her quick message.

**Looking forward to seeing you today :)**

Nesta’s rely came a few minutes later.

**Hope you can keep up ;)**

Cassian’s chest clenched, that stupid grin he’d recently started sporting spread across his face.

**Don’t worry about me sweetheart ;)**

Adjusting his towel, and himself, Cassian padded from the bathroom back into the room he was staying in at Az’s.

He pulled a pair of trousers from the drawer he had hastily stuck the few clothes he brought with him into when he arrived. He then spent longer than he was prepared to admit debating which of his three flannel shirts he should wear. Cassian was just grateful he didn’t have to borrow anything ill-fitting of Az’s this time.

After lacing up his boots with shaking hands, he decided that he couldn’t sit around in Azriel’s apartment any longer, he was going stir crazy, which is how he now found himself at their date spot, early.

A few hikers who had passed in the hour he sat there had thrown him dirty looks. Men who sitting alone in trucks in the forrest tended not to be up to any good. To be fair to them, about half an hour in, Cassian did debate unzipping his trousers to rub a quick one out just to ensure that any lingering horniness was drained. In the end he decided against exposing himself, given, to do so would be to commit a criminal offence.

It was then that he had started tapping his steering wheel and singing along to the classic anthems.

The radio had just cut to a commercial break when a little red spots car appeared in his mirror. He laughed as it came to a stop behind his truck.

Of course that was what she would drive.

————

Nesta parked her car behind a massive truck. There was absolutely no reason for it to be the size that it was. She was sure that it was owned by some Velaris douche who thought anything outside the city limits could only be enhanced by the smell of exhaust fumes and the sound of an engine revving. She was nervous parking her car behind it, for fear the driver would simply reverse over her car, but it was the only space available in the small lot at the foot of the hiking trail.

Switching off the engine she pulled her phone just her bag and sent Cassian a message.

**Hey! I’ve just arrived :)**

She hadn’t seen him while she was searching for a parking space, so maybe he was still yet to arrive. He didn’t really know Velaris particularly well after all.

She shucked off the tennis shoes she had been wearing to drive and pulled her hiking boots from the back seat. She had her head down, lacing them up, when a knock on her window startled her.

Jumping, Nesta looked up see a smirking Cassian crouched down looking in the window at her.

Her stomach lurched, brain short circuiting.

_Gods._

This was not the man she had met 10 days ago for dinner at the House of Wind.

He was _spectacular_.

Gone was the nervousness, dressed in clothes that didn’t fit him, with hair that was gelled like a helmet to his head.

Instead, today, Cassian looked at ease. He was wearing a dark green flannel and his hair was tied in a messy bun. Loose tendrils framed his face. She wanted to touch them. She bet his hair was soft. Probably nicer than her own.

If she could just run her hands through…

Nesta realised that she was gaping at him.

Quickly righting herself, she swung open the car door. “Hey!,” she said.

“Hey yourself.” He kept that easy knowing smile, like there was something she was missing.

“You been here long?”

“Nope just got here.”

“Cool, let me just get these boots on and we can hit the trail.”

“Take your time, sweetheart.”

A little thrill went through Nesta at the casual way he called her that.

She ducked her head to hide her blush, focusing instead on her laces. She didn’t look at Cassian but she could feel his eyes on her, watching her.

Her hands shook.

She felt vulnerable, exposed, sitting in her low sports car, his presence looming.

He was so much taller than Nesta remembered, broader too. She was eye level with his powerful thighs wrapped in black work trousers.

There was something predatory about the way he stood. Dangerous. Not to her. Just that he was a powerful man, taking up space in a way he hadn’t the first time they met.

Nesta’s blood heated.

Finished tying her lace, she grabbed her backpack from the passenger seat and made to stand up. Cassian was beside her in an instant, arm outstretched like a gentleman to help her out of her car.

With anyone else she would have not so politely told them where to go, but with Cassian, she was happy to accept any excuse to touch him.

“Ready?” She asked, when she found herself parallel with his chest.

“Yep, you know the way?”

“Yeah I come up here all the time.”

“It seems nice,” Cassian said.

Nesta snorted a laugh, “This is the car park.”

“Yeah,” pink tinged Cassian’s cheeks. Something inside Nesta twisted, she didn’t know how it could go from intimidating in one moment, to adorable in the next. “I just meant the forrest…it seems like a nice spot to go hiking.”

“If you’re impressed by this, the view at the top is going to blow you away,” she said, setting off down the trail.

Cassian chuckled, he was behind her now, following her up the narrow path cut into the undergrowth. It would widen soon and they would be able to walk beside each other, but for now Nesta swayed her hips a little more than she normally would. “And if I’m not blow away?”

“Oh you will be.”

“Willing to bet?”

“Sure.”

Cassian paused for a moment, but when he spoke again, Nesta could hear the daring in his voice. “If you make me walk all the way to the top of this mountain and I’m not blown away by the view I want a kiss.”

“A kiss?” That liquid heat slicked through her again. Where was this bold Cassian the last time they went out? Trapped in that terrible hair perhaps?

“A kiss.”

“And if you make to the top and are blown away by the view?”

“Well then I’ll give you a kiss.”

She snorted, “So either way, we get to the top of this mountain and we’re kissing?”

“Sounds like good odds to me.”

“Sounds like rigged odds!”

“The first rule of gambling, sweetheart, the bookie always wins.”

She snorted a laugh.

“So what do you say, Nes, do you accept those odds?”

“Ask me again when we reach the half way point.”

Silence fell between them then. Heated. Until they rounded a corner and the path widened. Cassian fell into step beside her.

“Do you hike much in Illyria?” She asked him.

“No. I wish I could do it more, it’s so beautiful up there, but it’s…messy.”

“Messy?”

“Yeah,” Cassian shrugged, “There used to be great hiking all over Illyria, but now, the land has all been carved up and sold to logging companies and private developers. The paths all cut through private property so you’re trespassing if you want to hike a trail.”

“Ah, messy.”

“The old-timers really hate it.”

“I can imagine.”

“All of this wild land they had the free run of in their youth, now it’s all gone. Well, it’s still there but no one can use it.” Cassian ran a frustrated had through his hair. The movement showing off the size of his bicep. Nesta was sure it was bigger than her thigh. “There is this old guy in the town nearest me, real grumpy, his name is Beron. He always said that no one could push him off his ancestral lands, ya know?”

Nesta nodded. This was a story she knew all to well.

“So one day, he goes hiking on this trail that cuts through land owned by some development company, they want to log the forest and then extract minerals from the soil or some shit,” Cassian rolled his eyes dramatically, “Anyway, a week later, old Beron get’s a cease and desist letter in the mail from the development company. Apparently they have cameras all over their land and were able to identify him. It’s fucked up.”

“I’m not surprised.”

“No?”

“No. Stuff like this is happens all the time.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, Velaris and Hewn City are growing exponentially, and developers are swooping in to try and make a fast buck.”

“Illyria is not growing, it’s the opposite. Nobody under 40 lives there.”

“You live there.”

“Yeah well I’m special,” Cassian said with a wink.

Nesta gave him a playful shove with her shoulder, it did nothing to move the mountain of a man walking beside her. His shove back however…

It was enough to push Nesta off balance. Her foot caught on a rock. Her ankle twisted.

And then she was falling.

Her arms propelling in an attempt to grab hold of something.

To keep her off the ground.

Just as she toppled backwards a thick arm wrapped around her waist catching her. Pulling her tight against him.

“Shit sorry Nes, I didn’t mean…” his voice trailed off as is he realised the position they were in.

How close he stood to her.

One big arm wrapped around her tiny waist, pulling her body tight against his. Her hands clutching onto his thick arms, a reflex from when he grabbed her, but now she wasn’t sure she would ever be able to let go.

She liked the feel of him against her.

A zing went through Nesta as she realised her breasts were pressed up against his solid chest.

Her breathing hitched.

He noticed.

The laughter in his hazel eyes dying, only to be replaced with something more fierce, determined.

Their faces were so close together it wouldn’t take much for her to close the gap, to press her mouth against his full lips.

Her gaze flicked down in time to catch his tongue flicking out to wet his bottom lip.

His grip tightened on her.

The blood pounded through Nesta anchoring her to the moment. She was surrounded by Cassian, his strong body cocooning her. All she could see was him. All she could feel as he held her against him. She could hear her pulse beating in her ears, the shallowness of her breathing, the deep breath that Cassian took to steady himself before he learnt down, closing the distance between him.

Their lips met, tentative at first but soon Nesta found herself deepening the kiss. Her hands gripping at Cassian’s thick arms as she melted against his body.

She was on fire.

Never had she felt a kiss like this.

This was it.

Whatever _it_ was.

She had found it.

————

Elain’s saw her hands trembling as she pushed the elevator button. The doors slid closed and she found herself staring at a mirror image of herself. She was dressed in a soft pink coat, with a matching pink scarf. Her makeup was simple but emphasised her eyes. Her hair was curled softly.

She had just finished fluffing her hair when the doors slid open. Taking a deep breath, she stepped out into the hallway, and froze.

There were two doors in the hallway, Azriel hadn’t told her which one was his. He had just said the penthouse.

Pulling her phone from her pocket she sent a message to Azriel. They didn’t text very often, preferring to talk on the phone. She just hoped that now he would reply quickly.

**Hi Azriel, I’m outside but I don’t know which door is yours.**

Standing in the hallway waiting for him to reply, Elain was suddenly overcome with a bout of nerves. She had been so excited to finally meet Azriel she hadn’t be worried, it felt like she had been going to meet an old friend, but it was in that moment she realised that she didn’t know this man. Had never met him. He could in fact be anyone.

And she was meeting him in his home.

This wasn’t safe.

She needed to get out of here.

Elain turned back to the elevator and pressed the call button just as the one of the hallway doors behind her opened.

“Elain?”

Hesitantly, Elain turned around to look at Azriel.

_Oh. My. Gods._

His face was exactly how it appeared when they video called.

 _No_.

It was even more beautiful in person.

His dark features, his floppy hair, his hazel eyes that were both shy and kind.

But the rest of him…

He was a hockey player. She knew that. What she hadn’t fully considered was what that meant.

He practically filled the door way. Long lean muscle.

He was wearing a grey jumper and dark grey slacks, so at odds with her pink.

“Hi,” she whispered, her voice failing her.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes…I just…”

“You just?”

“Er…I just realised that maybe this was a bad idea.”

She didn’t miss the hurt that flickered across his face. He moved then, tucking his hands into the pockets of his trousers. It was only this movement that drew her attention to them; the scars that marred his hands.

A hockey injury?

“Was I not what you expected?” He asked, distress settling in his features.

“No, not at all.”

“I—.”

“No, I didn’t mean like that,” she exclaimed when she realised the way he must have taken that. “I just suddenly realised that it it maybe not a good idea to be in the apartment of some random man I don’t know.”

A small smile played on his mouth, as if he was trying not to laugh at her, and Gods was it not the most beautiful thing that Elain had ever seen. She wondered then what he must sound like when he laughed. Some subconscious part of her decided it was her mission to find out.

“I would say you know me pretty well.”

“I feel like I know you.”

Elain could have sworn his smile broadened slightly. “But I understand if you are uncomfortable.”

“I think the whole reality of the situation just suddenly hit me.”

“Yeah I get that.” He settled himself, leaning against the doorframe. He seemed in no rush to usher her inside, a fact that somehow set Elain more at ease. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Of course?”

“I’m terrified.”

Elain’s eyes went wide. “Why?”

“It’s been a long time since I was last on a date.”

“Sure.”

“No, it’s true! I haven’t been on a date in I don’t even want to know how long. I was with my last girlfriend for ten years and we broke up three years ago. I haven’t been on a date since.”

“But you’re so handsome.”

Azriel smiled now, a broad one, that lit up his whole face, and Elain felt something warm spread across her chest. “I’m flattered you think so.”

“It’s true.”

“Well that makes it all the more embarrassing then doesn’t it? Thirteen years since I last had a first date, I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“You’re doing pretty great so far.”

“You think so?”

“I do.”

“When was the last time you were on a first date?”

Elain hesitated. Her first date with Lucien had been just over two weeks ago. Her sisters had told her that dating multiple people was normal now, but after what Tamlin had said to her at dinner the other night…

She cut those thoughts off. If Azriel was the kind of guy that would speak to her the way Tamlin had spoken to her, the way Greyson used to speak to her, then it was better she found out now when she was able to turn around and flee in the elevator.

“Two weeks ago.”

“Oh wow.”

“But I also got out of a long term relationship.”

“Yeah?”

“Well, two years ago. That was the first date I’d been on since.”

“How long were you with your last boyfriend?”

“Five years.”

“You’ve been on two first dates in the last seven years, and you still have more experience that me.” Azriel was fully grinning at her now.

Elain felt her own smile match his. “It appears that way.”

“I understand if you feel too uncomfortable,” he swallowed, “but if you want to come in maybe we could figure this whole first date thing out together?”

With a buoyancy in her heart, Elain stepped towards the door.

————

Elain.

God’s Azriel had been struck stupid when he opened the door and she had just been standing there. Pretty in pink.

He understood her nerves. Gods he felt them too. All the time. He had been so overjoyed when she agreed to have dinner at his place that he didn’t think about what that might mean for her.

He was so grateful for her now, as she stepped across the threshold and into his apartment, that she had agreed to go through with it.

He wouldn’t have just let her walk away. Not after seeing her standing there in the hallway. Something in his chest had begun singing to him then. He would have asked her to go to a restaurant instead. Not that he ever went to restaurants. His anxiety didn’t allow it. His life was spent in his apartment, at the rink, or holed up in a hotel room whenever his team played an away game. He absolutely hated being in public, but for Elain, maybe he could try.

“This is for you,” Elain said, thrusting the potted plant that she had been hugging against herself, towards him, “It’s a snake plant. You said that you needed some plants to make your place more homely and this guy is pretty hard to kill. They don’t mind shady spots, or draughts, you can pretty much ignore them and they’ll reward you by purifying the air.”

Azriel smiled down at her, “Thank you,” he whispered, “you didn’t have to bring me anything.”

Elain flushed pink, “I know…but I wanted to.”

“You’ll have to help me find a good spot for him.”

She smiled then, that shy smile of hers that stirred things within him, “Sure.”

Gods how had he let it go so long.

Now he was finally around a woman and he didn’t know what to do with himself. He suddenly felt too hot and too cold at once. His gut twist, his heart pound, while other parts of him that he would never dare mention in the polite company of a lady began to throb.

“Let me take your coat.”

“Oh thank you.”

As Elain shrugged off her coat all of the electric heat in Azriel simmered to something closer to concern. He frowned. She was wearing a pink dress, with long sleeves and flowy skirt, it was beautiful on her but it did nothing to hide just how thin she was.

He hadn’t noticed when they had called, but she was absolutely tiny. He was sure her waist was about as thick as his thigh.

He hoped she was okay.

Hanging her coat up, Azriel led her down the hallway and into the open plan living space. “So where do you think this guy should go?” He asked, gesturing to the plant.

Elain paused, looking around the big room. “Maybe he should go over there?” She said, pointing to table near the window that held only a lamp.

Azriel padded across the room to position the plant on the table. “What do you think?”

“Looks good,” Elain smiled that smile again, “something smells good too.”

“I hope you’re hungry. I’ve got loads of food.”

“Spend all day in front of the stove?”

A sheepish smile spread across Azriel’s face, “I was going to try and pass the food off as my own, but I can’t take the credit for work I didn’t do.”

Elain giggled, “You ordered in?”

“I ordered in.”

She rolled her eyes, “I thought you promised to make me dinner?”

“I think I promised to get you dinner, you definitely don’t want to eat anything I make.”

“You can’t cook?”

“I can barely make coffee.”

“I’ll teach you to cook, if you want?”

Making future plans, clearly Elain felt more comfortable in his presence after their initial wobble. _Good_. “Are you a good cook?”

“I’m an amazing cook.”

Azriel chuckled, “Then I might just take you up on that offer, at leasts I can sample some of your amazing cooking.”

Elain laughed again. Gods that sound was so refreshing, Azriel didn’t think it would ever get old.

“So can I get you a glass of wine?”

“Yes, that would be nice.”

Azriel padded to the kitchen, to pour two glasses of wine. When he returned he found Elain staring dreamily at oneof the brightly coloured canvasses that Rhys had bought. He had hung them up this afternoon in preparation. He wanted his apartment to feel homey, not like he just moved in.

“Pretty cool, huh?” He asked, coming to a stand beside her. Gods she was dainty. Her head didn’t even come past his shoulder.

Elain took the glass of wine from his outstretched hand. Her fingers brushed lightly against his, causing a bolt of electricity to shoot through Azriel.“Where did you get it?” She asked.

“My manager bought them, but I can find out for you?”

“No, it’s okay. I know the artist.”

“Oh yeah? Cheers,” he said, clinking his glass against hers.

“Cheers! Yeah, it’s my sister.”

“The artist? No way?”

Elain nodded, “I just didn’t realise she was selling her work again.”

“Apparently so?”

“Indeed.”

“So, ugh, do you want to eat?”

The mention of food seemed to snap Elain from her reverie. “Sure.”

Padding back to the kitchen Azriel plated up to large plates of food. One for Elain, and then double for him.

Elain’s eye’s went big when he sat the plates down in front of her at the table. “You eat a lot of food.”

Azriel shrugged, settling himself across the table from her. “Food is fuel for me. I need it to keep up with training.”

And it’s nothing to be ashamed of he almost added. To Azriel’s great surprise however, Elain polished off the plate of food her served her, and then joined him for seconds. She did tap out before thirds, but it was still an impressive showing.

Azriel just hoped that it was a sign she was in some sort of recovery, and she wasn’t going to punish herself later. Or that she was sick in some other way.

After they had finished dinner they settled themselves on the couch to watch a film. Azriel preened over how close Elain sat to him. Their legs touching. He took it as a sign that she liked him, or at the very least that she was comfortable with him.

As the opening sequence began, Azriel stretched his arm across the back of the chair. Elain glanced up at him, smiling, she knew his game, but she didn’t stop him. She seemed content to allow his arm, slowly over the course of the film, drift down until it was slung around her shoulders.

By the time the film ended, Elain was snuggled into his side, her head resting against his chest.

Azriel hadn’t been paying close attention to the film, he tightened his arm around her as the credit began to roll. He didn’t want her to move. He was just so comfortable with her. Physically, as they lay together on the couch, but emotionally too. Elain was so easy to be around, his anxiety didn’t flare up.

Azriel knew he was starting to develop feelings for her.

It was just their first date and he was already a goner.

He could only hope that she felt the same way.

————

“You know when you said that I could hang with you tonight, so I could give Azriel his space?”

“Yeah?”

“I kinda figured you meant we could go to a sports bar or something.”

Rhys looked up at his friend. They were standing in the Velaris Gallery of Art, one of Rhy’s clients had a big installation opening tonight. Rhys had only planned to stop by for a short time, to show his face and congratulate his client on her big night, but Rhys had alway enjoyed art. What harm, he’d thought, if he just glanced at the exhibition. An hour later however, and he had only seen half of it.

Cassian had patiently trailed along behind him, making the occasional confused comment as to what exactly he was looking at.

The only paint strokes Cassian cared about were the weather proofing he slapped on his wooden cabin every summer to protect it in the winter ahead.

Gods bless him, he did not fit in here. He was just so big. He kept awkwardly twisting his body to avoid knocking over any of the exhibits. At any moment, Cassian risked bumping into something and the place falling like dominos.

His friend was clearly uneasy, in his work boots and a green flannel, he had come straight from his hike to the event so that Azriel could have his apartment for a date of his own. Rhys couldn’t help but feel bad for him, “I’m sorry man, I just got carried away.”

“It’s okay.”

“Nah, give me a half an hour, I’ll talk to my client and we can get out of here.”

“Yeah?”

“Just let me find her,” Rhys said, craning his neck to see if he could find her amongst the crowd. “There’s food over there is you want to park up and I’ll come find you in a bit?”

Cassian glanced to the table with a frown. “Is it, like, real food?”

“Real food?”

“I thought it was part of the museum?”

Rhys laughed, “It’s not part of the exhibition, no.”

Cassian nodded seemingly relieved, “I’ll be at the food table then.”

“Half an hour, and we can go, I promise.”

Cassian just waved a hand dismissively, as he headed for the snacks, “Take as long as you need.”

————

Feyre kept her head ducked as she made her way through the crowd. She was supposed to be working tonight, well she was working tonight but only in the sense that she was physically at work. She was supposed to be working the crowd, making introductions, chatting with artists, schmoozing potential buyers, but it was taking all her strength not to cry, and she wasn’t even succeeding at that.

It had been 48 hours since Tamlin proposed.

48 hours since he had got down on one knee in the middle of the street and asked her to be his wife.

48 hours since the tears had started spilling, not with the joy that Tamlin had first thought, but with fear.

48 hours since he started screaming at her in the street. _How dare she reject him? She was nothing without him. Everything she had in her life was because of him._

48 hours since he left her sobbing in the street.

It had been 48 hours since she had last talked to the love of her life and it hurt.

Gods she needed a drink.

Sniffling she made her way to the drinks table, and took a large gulp from the first glass of wine she could lay her hand on.

“Eh…are you okay?”

Feyre looked over to the man who had spoke, a snotty laugh spluttered from her. The guy was huge, like a giant, dressed in outdoor work clothes. His shoulders curled protectively over the napkin he held in one hand and the cheese laden cracker in the other. As if anyone would even attempt to steel it from him anyway.

She wondered which artist had dragged him along to support them this evening.

He watched her with big hazel eyes. There was something about him that looked familiar. Comfortable. That was the only reason why the next words fell from her mouth. “I think I broke up with my boyfriend.”

“Aww shit,” the giant said, shaking his head like it was the worst thing he had ever heard. “That really sucks. Were you guys together long?”

“We were serious, he proposed,” Feyre’s voice caught on the last word and the sob racked her.

The giant swore. “No girly don’t cry, it’ll be okay.”

He somehow managed to ease himself around the table without knocking anything over, coming to rub Feyre on the back as she continued to so uncontrollably.

She didn’t know this man who was comforting her, but she sound herself turning into his chest, her tears wetting his t-shirt as she cried against him. One hand continued to rub her back, the other, she felt rather than saw, popped the final cheese and cracker into his mouth, before he pressed the crumby napkin into her hand. “Here, have a tissue,” or at least that sounded like what he said with a mouthful of cheese.

They stood like that for a few minutes until Feyre was able to get her breathing under control. She took a step back to look up at the man, dapping her eyes with the napkin he had given her. “I’m sorry,” she sniffed.

“Don’t worry about—,” the giant frowned, “You kinda look like some I know, you know?”

“Oh yeah?” Feyre wiped her nose, couldn’t be anyone good if her swollen tear stained face was anything to go by.

“Do you have sisters?”

“Two?”

“One of them called Nesta by any chance?”

Feyre froze, her eyes going wide as she looked up at the giant, “How do you know Nes—.”

A hand came out to clap the giant on the shoulder, “Hey man, you ready to go?”

_Shit._

Well wasn’t this the last person she wanted to see right now.

The giant’s friend took one look at her and purred. “Feyre, darling.”


	10. Chapter Nine

“So.”

“So?”

Cassian couldn’t help but smile at Nesta’s mocking tone. They both knew why they were there, sitting opposite each other at a picnic table in the small park across from Nesta office, but it was clear she wasn’t going to be the one to start the conversation.

It was cold, they could see their breath as they spoke, Nesta was curled around a mug of soup that was her lunch. The first snow wasn’t far away. Which meant it was already snowing in Illyria. It was time for Cassian to head home so he didn’t get stuck in Velaris for the winter.

And so, he had come to see Nesta one last time.

“I guess, I wanted to talk about us.”

Things had been going well since their second date, the hike that had changed everything. They text constantly, even when she was at work. They talked on the phone most evenings, that was, if they weren’t hanging out. He had become so much more comfortable in her presence, he loved to touch her, just to hold her hand or stroke her hair, he liked feeling her near him.

Of course, he liked it more when she put her mouth on him.

He was going to remember last night for as long as he lived. Lying on the bed of his truck with Nesta tucked in at his side, as they looked at the stars. It was magical before she reached up and kissed him. When she moved down his body, unbuckling his trousers, to kiss another part him, he ascended.

Afterwards, when he held her tight against him, gripping what little flesh she was willing to expose to the cold, starry night, pumping his fingers inside her, Cassian knew he couldn’t bring himself to say goodbye.

“Us?” Nesta asked with a shy smile.

“Yeah, Nes…” he reached across the table to take one of her hands, holding it between his own. “Meeting you…these past few weeks, they’ve been some of the best I’ve ever had in my life.”

She smiled then, big and genuine, causing her steely grey eyes to sparkle like diamonds. And Gods didn’t it light up Cassian’s whole heart.

“With me going up North…I don’t want things to end.”

“Me neither,” she whispered.

“Gods,” a breath he didn’t realise he was holding left him in a rush, “you don’t know how happy it makes me to hear that sweetheart.”

“You want to try long distance?”

“Yeah, I mean I know it’s not ideal, but I’ve got a pretty mediocre internet connection in my cabin. Winter might be rough but once spring comes I can come to Velaris more,” he shrugged, “we’ll figure it out.”

“I’ve been thinking about us too, you know.”

“Planning our future together Nesta Archeron?” He said it with a grin that he knew would have her rolling her eyes, and sure enough, she did.

“I was thinking about what you told me, about how all the land was carved up and sold to private developers.”

“Oh yeah?”

“It might be something my law firm would be interested in.”

“But you do corporate law?”

She nodded, taking a sip of soup. “Yes, but the corporate stuff is more of a means to an end. It funds our pro bono work. I’ve been handling a lot of cases recently, community groups trying to resist development, often due to environmental concerns.”

“Sorry? You’re telling me that behind this bad bitch corporate image, is a hippy environmental lawyer?”

Nesta shook her head, “Hippy might be going too far.”

“Gods, could you be any more perfect?”

She laughed, “Look, I’m not guaranteeing anything.”

“Of course.”

“But if you could assemble some sort of community group, generate interest in resisting the development proposal…it would give me a good excuse to go up and visit.”

“Consider it done! I’ll rally the locals.” Cassian couldn’t believe how incredible the woman sitting across for him was. How did he ever get so lucky? “I was kinda hoping there would be another reason for you to come up and visit though.”

“And what might that be?”

He knew she was expecting him to say _him_ , that she was not expecting his next words. “To visit your boyfriend.”

“Cass—.”

“Nes,” his thumbs stroked back and forth across her gloved knuckles, “I’m crazy about you, I want to give it a proper go, you and me, what do you say?”

————

Nesta floated back to her desk.

Some of her colleagues gave her funny looks as she passed them in the corridor, they probably never see her smile, and right now Nesta was beaming.

She had got herself a boyfriend. How had she managed that? And not any random guy either, possibly the most amazing, kindhearted, funny guy she had ever met. Nesta could have squealed.

But then her colleagues really would have been concerned.

Part of her wondered what such an incredible guy was doing with a stone-faced bitch like her, but he seemed happy, and Nesta was gloriously so.

Settling herself at her desk she unlocked her computer to see the cascade of emails appear in her inbox.

Not wanting to come down from her high too quickly, she pulled her phone from her coat pocket.

Opening Swipe, she brought up her profile.

Scrolling right to the bottom, Nesta didn’t hesitate for one moment before clicking the delete button.

————

Rhys swivelled in his chair.

It was Friday afternoon, and he was restless.

His encounter with Feyre last Saturday weighed heavily on his mind.

He hadn’t expected to see her when he had gone to find Cassian. Indeed, he hadn’t seen her, behind his friend’s tall frame, until he was right upon them.

His heart had started pounding at the sight of her, his stomach dropping at the thought that Cass was flirting with her.

At the sight of him however, Feyre had gone rigid. She gave Rhys a strained smile, before disappearing into the crowd.

And Rhys had been a dick to Cassian afterwards. Until his friend finally exclaimed, “ _I wasn’t flirting with her man! She was crying_.” Cassian had rolled his eyes and taken a large mouthful of beer. His meaning was clear, conversation over.

Relief had flooded Rhys at those words, until the entirety of what Cass had said dawned on him. He knew his friend wanted him to drop it, but there was a nagging inside him demanding more. So he asked Cassian for details. “ _She’d just broken up with her fiancé._ ”

Rhys didn’t know what to make of that. Had the blond guy with the ponytail been her fiancé. If that was the case, then he had read the whole situation entirely wrong.

He thought that Feyre and blondie had been on a first date.

He thought that the fact they kept running into each other had meant something, that the universe had been trying to tell him something. Now he figured the only sign he was getting was that Velaris was a small place. Eventually everyone ran into everyone else.

Feyre was no more special to him than anyone else.

With a sigh, he picked his phone up off his desk and opened Swipe.

He needed a distraction.

To get Feyre out of his head.

Clearly it was becoming unhealthy.

The poor girl had enough going on, she didn’t need to deal with him creeping her out, on top of everything else.

He paused on the profile of a pretty blonde. She looked nothing like Feyre. And exactly like the kind of person he needed to get under, in order to get over his little obsession.

 _Ianthe. 28. Yoga. Spiritualism. Podcasting. Looking for someone to make a deep_ 🍆 _connection with._

With a groan, Rhys swiped right.

————

“Thanks for dinner,” Lucien said, kissing Elain on the cheek as she settled herself on the coach beside him.

“You’re more than welcome,” she said, snuggling herself under his arm.

This was their third date, and Elain had invited Lucien over to her house for dinner. She had cooked an elaborate spread, and after stuffing themselves, they had retired to her cozy sitting room to watch a film.

There was just one thing worrying Elain, and she knew she had to bring it up before the night went any further.

Gripping her wine glass, Elain steeled herself, “Lucien?”

“Hummm?”

“Can we talk for a second?”

He moved then, she was no longer pressed against him, her face hidden in his chest. Now she faced him, his golden eyes boring into her’s with concern. “Of course, what’s wrong?” He asked.

“Oh no, nothing is wrong. I just wanted to talk about something.”

“What?”

Elain took a sop of her wine, steading herself.

“This is our third date.”

“It is.”

“And I’m having a really great time getting to know you.”

Lucien’s face softened, “I’m glad to hear that. I’m enjoying getting to know you Elain.”

“It’s just…” her voice trailed off.

“Yes?” Lucien prompted, his eyes kind.

Elain took another big sip of wine, as she swallowed the liquid courage, the words burst from her. “I’m not ready to have sex.”

Lucien blinked, and then erupted into laughter, “Oh Elain, I thought you were going to end things with me.” He pulled her back against his chest, resting his cheek on her head. “Were you worried I thought that was going to happen tonight, when you invited me over?”

Elain nodded, heat flooding her face.

“Elain, I have no expectations for us. I just like spending time with you. I am happy to take things at whatever pace you want.”

“Really?” Elain twisted to look up at him.

He kissed her forehead, “Of course. I don’t want you to feel pressured into doing something that you are not completely comfortable with.”

“It’s not that I don’t feel comfortable with you, I do. It’s just…” Elain turned away from his gaze before asking the question that dwelled on her mind. “Would you like to have sex with me?”

“Would I like to have sex with you?”

“Yes, if given the option…Do you find me attractive?”

Lucien’s hand found hers, interlacing their fingers. “You’re a very beautiful woman Elain, it would be an honour to have sex with you.”

Elain’s breath caught at the reverence with which he spoke. “You think so?”

“I do.”

“It’s just with my last—,” Elain stopped herself, “sorry, you probably don’t want to hear about my ex.”

“No, go on. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

She took a deep breath. It was a lot to admit to someone, but she needed to be honest with Lucien if she ever wanted things to go further. “My ex, he used to make comments about my body. It impacted me. I don’t like taking my clothes off. Not even at the beach.”

Lucien was quiet for a moment, his hand squeezing hers. “I only know the few things that you have told me about you ex, but it really doesn’t seem like it was the healthiest relationship.”

“It wasn’t.”

“Then I’m glad you’re out of it.”

“Me too.”

“But Elain, you should know that when you’re intimate with someone, someone deserving, the only thing they should whisper about your body are words of worship.”

“Oh.” Heat flood Elain at his tone, at the way his hips shifted slightly in the seat behind her.

“And you should also know,” he continued, his mouth tickling at her ear sending delicious tingles down her spine, “there are plenty of things we could do with our clothes on.”

Elain looked up at him. His voice may have been heated but his expression was apprehensive, almost shy. As if he was afraid of her reaction, that me might come to regret his words.

Maybe it was the wine, lowering her inhibitions, but Elain found herself whispering, “Show me.”

Lucien took the wine from her, setting both their glasses safely on the coffee table. “Are you sure?”

Elain nodded.

“No pressure.”

“No pressure.”

Satisfied, Lucien gently lay Elain back on the coach. “You can say stop at any moment,” his eyes bore into hers, “and I’ll stop immediately. No worries, no hard feelings, I just want you to feel safe, okay?”

Elain nodded before propping herself up on a cushion to get comfortable.

Lucien pressed kisses to the corners of her mouth, softly at first, before his lips claimed hers.

Elain moaned as he slid his tongue inside her mouth deepening the kiss. It had been so long since she had be kissed like this, the heat inside her roared to the surface, demanding. Her hands gripped Lucien’s biceps through his thin shirt, as he hovered over her.

Soon his mouth had kissed a path from hers, down her neck where he was pressing hot open mouth kisses that had Elain arching into him.

Gods, her body was unbearable hot. Tingling. Hyper aware of Lucien’s mouth on her, on his hands that gently gripped her waist.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered in her ear, before nipping her earlobe.

It shocked Elain, the feel of his teeth. She emitted a gasp, moving to grip onto his shoulders, to pull him down onto her. But Lucien didn’t move, keeping his weight off her as he kissed.

The heat that had coursed through her body was settling between her legs. She needed some friction, some relief. But Lucien wasn’t providing any, keeping up with the languishing kisses that were driving her wild.

She could feel her nipples hard, pressing against the bodice of her dress, her little breasts aching to be touched. She squirmed under him, until she finally got impatient. Grabbing one of his hands from her waist, she placed it on her breast.

She knew there wasn’t much for him to cup, but she didn’t care what he thought. The relief from his touch was more urgent.

When she hooked her legs around his waist, trying to find some friction to rub herself against, Lucien pulled back.

“Are you sure?” He asked, his fingers running up the outside of her thigh. It was so gentle, her body so on fire, his soft touch was almost painful. She needed more.

She nodded.

Lucien shook his head. “I need you to say it Elain.”

“Yes,” she gasped, “Gods please Lucien. Touch me.”

Lucien’s wandering hand hooked her underwear, dragging them down her legs.

Lucien pushed one of her legs up onto the back of the couch, the other on the coffee table, spreading her wide. Exposing her as he knelt between her legs.

Yet Elain didn’t feel exposed. Not with the skirts of her dress tucked around her.

“Is this okay?” He asked, his big palms coming to rest on the inside of her thighs.

 _Gods this was better than okay_. He had driven her into such a frenzy she needed to find her release. The cool air that brushed against her bare pussy was only further punishment.

“Yes,” she breathed.

It was then that Lucien dipped his head. They both moaned as his tongue discovered how wet she had become.

 _Gods_.

Greyson had never done this to her.

It felt so naughty.

As his tongue made long strokes from her cunt to her clit, she squirmed. Lucien laughed, his breath hot against her. He moved one hand to hold her hips steady.

“Relax for me baby, you’re beautiful,” he said before dipping his head again.

With Lucien’s mouth hot against her, the sensation built and built until she was gripping his hair and moaning his name.

And only when she thought she couldn’t take any more of the pressure building inside her,did Elain finally explode.

————

Azriel frowned at his phone. Twice he had tried calling Elain this evening. And twice that her phone clicked into her voicemail.

It was so unlike her not to answer his calls. In fact, she had never not answered his calls. They spoke every evening, unless they had agreed otherwise, but there was always a reason for that.

He couldn’t help the rush of disappointment that flooded through him. His calls with Elain were the highlight of his day.

With Cassian gone she was his only company now.

He had been counting down the hours, since his friend had left this morning, until it was time to call her.

And now she wasn’t answering.

Azriel just hoped that everything was okay.


	11. Chapter Ten

Azriel pulled the baseball cap low on his head. Coupled with the large dark sunglasses he was wearing he knew that no one would be able to recognise him. 

What he had failed to consider was how a large brown-skinned man, walking alone, dressed all in black, and wearing a baseball hat and sunglasses on a dark autumn evening might attract attention of a different kind. Women shied away from him on the pavement, clutching their children if they had them. Men puffed up their chests, trying to make eye contract with him through his dark shades as if to say _“I’m watching you buddy.”_

It was uncomfortable, but preferable to the usual fanfare he was greeted with whenever he left the house. He hadn’t been swarmed for autographs, or pictures, no one had asked him for predictions on next weeks game, or hurled abuse, and no one, thankfully, flashed him their breasts. 

Azriel was anonymous.

And the city didn’t seem so scary when no one knew him. 

He had to admit he’d been hesitant when Elain had suggested they go out somewhere for their second date, but if he wanted things to progress with her, he knew he was going to have to leave his apartment at some point. He wasn’t naive enough think that she wouldn’t prefer a man who took her places and did things with her. Rhys and Cassian had warned him that that might already be happening. So he had agreed on the condition that Elain choose where they went. She knew Velaris better than he did after all. 

Which was how he found himself here. 

Outside a nondescript brick building, just off the Velaris University campus. 

He consulted his map app, but the little blue dot showed his location as matching the address that Elain had sent him. 

> **I think I’m at the right place.**

> **I’m just getting off the metro so I’ll be there asap.**

A white haired couple hurried into the building Azriel was standing in front of. The older man tucked his arms protectively around his wife’s shoulders at the sight of him loitering outside. 

Azriel’s chest cracked at the sight of it. Gods he wanted someone so badly, to love and protect, to live a life and grow old together. He thought he had it once only for it to be snatched away. At the thought of Mor, Azriel made a mental note to call Bryaxis. The boy was still so small so he would be forced to call Mor first, which was always…painful. 

Especially when she asked about his life…whether he was dating anyone. 

Although maybe for the first time ever he’d be able to tell her that he was. 

“Sorry, I’m late,” Elain’s cheery sunshine voice called, snapping Azriel from his reverie. 

She hurried towards him, wrapped in a soft blue coat and matching scarf, her cheeks were pink from the cold, but her eyes were shining and her smile was bright. She looked vibrant. Healthy.

Certainly healthier than the last time Azriel had seen her, and that had been less than a week ago. 

“You look beautiful,” he said, bending down the press a kiss to each of her cold cheeks. 

“You look kinda scary like that,” she said drawing back to take him in. 

“Oh sorry,” he said, quickly pulling off the sunglasses, “trying to go unnoticed.”

“Did it work?”

“Not exactly, but no one recognised me.”

“I recognised you, but then I’d recognise you anywhere.” 

A little thrill went through Azriel at that. _What did she mean by she’d recognise him anywhere?_ It was a throwaway comment no doubt, but one he would spend hours agonising over later. 

Elain however remained unfazed. 

“So shall we go in?” She asked, nodding in the direction of the door. 

“Yeah, sure…where exactly are we?”

“You’ll see,” she said, pushing open the door. 

Stepping inside the building the heat rushed towards Azriel, along with something else. “Gods it smells amazing in here.”

Elain waved to the security guard before leading Azriel down a long corridor and ducking into a room. 

Azriel paused on the threshold, “Elain?”

“Azriel?”

“What are we doing here?”

“You said you couldn’t cook.”

He couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. She had brought him to a cooking class. 

“Ah good, our final couple is here. There is a work station free at the front. Hang your coats up, wash your hands, and let’s get going,” the woman at the front called. 

Azriel followed Elain to the front of the class. He then followed all of the instructions the teacher gave the class on how to make lasagne. Simple she said, a staple that could be wheeled out to impress friends and family. 

Azriel wasn’t sure it was so simple, not when Elain laughed at everything he did. But he would gladly play the fool all evening if it meant he could keep hearing the tinkle of her laughter. 

He also liked when she took his hands in her own and showed him how to do things. In return, he made a point to brush up against her at every chance he got. He liked the feel of her body gazing against his as he reached across her for some ingredient, the feel of the skirt of her dress slipping through his fingers as he manoeuvred past her at the workbench. 

Elain didn’t seem to mind, she would look at him with sparkling eyes and a shy smile...maybe she liked it as much as he did.

They had just put their lasagne in the oven, when the old man Azriel had seen earlier shuffled towards them, a sheepish look on his face. 

“Excuse me young man, I don’t mean to interrupt but you look too much like the newest signing for the Velaris Black Hawks for me not to ask if it is you?”

Heat rushed to Azriel’s face, his heart started pounding in his chest. He should have known that his night of anonymity could never last. “Eh…” 

What did he say? Did he lie to the man to try and keep his date with Elain private. To stop others flocking to him for photographs and autographs. For his night to turn into something he desperately didn’t want. For Elain to get caught up in it. For her to see what his life was like, why he never left the house, why he would never leave the house again. Buzzing sounded in Azriel’s ears, his vision becoming blurry. Every instinct in his body screaming run, run, _RUN!_

And then she was there, dipping under his arm. 

Elain wrapped her arms around his waist, and leant her head against his thundering chest. It was like an anchor to him. Holding him steady. He could hear her calm breaths above his own panicked gasps. Her steady and slow inhale, exhale, inhale. 

He focused on it. On matching his breath to hers. 

Soon the room came back into focus. 

He was able to hear what the others were saying. 

The elderly man was grinning excitedly at him as he gesticulated. “…really incredible, and that goal you scored last weekend! Oh boy, it was just amazing! I have lots of friends who are Hewn City Raiders fans so you can only imagine our group chat was going wild.”

“Thank you,” Azriel finally managed to bark out. 

“No thank you my boy, thank you. It’s been a long time since Velaris won any silverware but we’re on track to win the League this year, just incredible.”

“Yes sir, that is the aim.”

“Excellent, excellent—.”

“Oh Kal, leave the poor boy alone.” The man’s wife had wandered over now, she was smiling up at Azriel too. “I’m sorry for my husband, he’s a big Black Wings fan…if you hadn’t noticed.”

“Could talk all night if Vivienne didn’t keep a check on me.” The man, Kal, said gazing at his wife fondly. As he turned back, Azriel could still see the love that shone in his eyes. “Lovely to meet you boy,” he said, holding out his hand. 

Azriel grasped it in a firm handshake, before Vivienne linked her husband’s arm and lead him back over to their workbench with an apologetic smile. 

Azriel glanced down at Elain who was looking up at him with concern. 

“How did you learn to do that?” He asked. 

Elain unwrapped herself from him, Azriel’s side felt suddenly cold, like he was missing some part of him when she stepped away. “After our mother died, one of my sisters had really bad panic attacks.”

Azriel’s heart cracked, “Oh Gods Elain, I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

She held up a hand to stop him, “It’s okay, it was a long time ago.”

“Well thank you for recognising the signs.”

“Oh course, panic attacks are really scary.”

“They are.”

“What is the trigger for you? Strangers?”

“Sort of. It’s fans. I don’t like it when people I don’t know approach me and start telling me all about my life. I feel trapped. Like there is no escape. Then I start panicking.”

Elain was silent for a moment, considering. “They’re cute though,” she said, nodding towards the worktable where Kal and Vivienne stood. They were laughing together over something. 

Azriel smiled, “Yeah, they are.”

Elain must have noticed something in his face as he looked at them. Sadness. Longing maybe. Because her next question was, “Would you like that?”

Azriel sighed. “I would love nothing more than a wife and a gaggle of kids. A big house in the countryside with a vegetable garden, and a dog.”

“I’d like that too,” she said, before adding sadly, “but I don’t think it’s possible for me.”

“What’s not possible?”

“Children.”

_Oh._

She continued. “My last relationship was pretty toxic. I put my body under a lot of stress physically to try and look a certain way please him. I’m still dealing with the consequences of that.”

Azriel just stared at her. He knew he should say something, but what could he say to comfort her. Did she even want comfort? Maybe she didn’t want someone to feel sorry for her. 

Azriel didn’t feel sorry for her. He felt angry on her behalf. 

How dare anyone make kind, gentle Elain think she needed to be anything other than what she was. 

If Azriel ever had the occasion to meet him, he’d be sure to introduce his fist to the man’s face. 

“But I guess you never really know if you can have children until you try.”

“I have a son,” Azriel blurted. He didn’t know what came over him. That was not something that he shared readily. In fact, it was his most guarded secret. He could count on one hand how many people in his life knew that information. 

“Really?” Elain’s brown eyes went wide. 

“Yeah, I know it’s something I maybe should have mentioned before now,” Azriel felt his face heat as she gawked up at him. “But he’s the most important person in the world to me and I would do anything to protect him. With my job…no kid deserves have their life splashed across the front pages because of decisions their parents made.”

“Of course,” she paused, taking his hand, “I’m humbled that you would trust me enough to tell me.” 

“Yeah well…you make me feel safe,” he said, interlacing their fingers. 

“So, does he live with his mom?”

“Moms. I mean…he’s really their son. I was just the donor, so I guess I’m really more of an uncle figure in his life, but still he’s my flesh and blood, out there running around. Do you want to see a picture?”

Elain’s answering smile was so bright, so genuine, Azriel knew he hadn’t made a mistake in telling her. Azriel let go of one of hand so he could pull his phone from his pocket. Elain leaned in, her hair tickling at his jaw, as she looked at the picture. It smelled so sweet, floral, just like her. 

“Oh wow! He looks just like you.”

“Yeah everyone says that.”

“It’s true!…How do you know his moms?”

“Ugh…one of them was my ex.”

“Oh wow,” Elain said again, her eyes going wide, her breath leaving her in a short burst that might have been a laugh.

“Her and her partner were looking for donors and they didn’t want some anonymous sample from a sperm bank. They wanted someone their kid would know, would grow up with. So they asked me. I know it’s a lot—.”

“No, Azriel, I think it’s incredible. What a gift you gave your friends, your ex, it’s so selfless.” 

_Gods._

_How could she be so kind? So understanding_?

“I’m not sure many people would share that view.” Azriel laughed. “The conception was so awkward. Thank god we only had to do it once. Obviously my ex and I had before…many times…but her wife was there and really all she wanted me to do was…ugh…provide the goods…which was a lot of pressure…so yeah, that was the last time that I…” 

His cheeks were on fire, telling such a dirty story to sweet Elain. 

“Okay everyone, you should be checking your lasagnes now and seeing if they’re ready to come out of the oven,” the teacher called to the class. 

Azriel leapt for the oven gloves. As he leant down to take the lasagne out of the oven, he whispered, so quietly that he wasn’t sure she would even hear him, “I just hope that you’re not put off.” 

“Not at all,” she whispered back. 

————

> **Feyre, please talk to me. We need to sort things out. What we have is too important to just let it end the way we did.**

Feyre had been ignoring Tamlin’s texts all week. 

Around the time her tears had dried, his anger had seemingly cooled, which was when he began texting her incessantly trying to get her to meet with him. 

Feyre wasn’t sure she wanted to hear what he had to say. Not when she thought about how he had spoken to her sisters, how he had spoken to her. 

But then the flowers had started arriving and she began remembering all the wonderful things that he had done for her...

Gods she was torn. She never wanted to go back to the lows that she felt when she was with him, but those highs, they were addictive. 

So she had thought about it and decided that she would meet with him. Just to talk things out. To see if there was any possibility that they would be able to overcome what had gone wrong between them. 

She did love him after all. 

So this time, when he text, Feyre replied. 

> **I agree it would be good to talk things over.**

> **I can come to yours? x**

> **No, let’s meet somewhere public.**

> **Okay, how about the Rainbow? Tomorrow? x**

> **See you then.**


	12. Chapter Eleven

Feyre took a deep breath, before pushing open the door to the Rainbow. As she stepped inside the heat and familiar smells rushed towards her.

This was her favourite place in Velaris.

By day it was a busy café, that sold fantastic coffee and even better pastries. While she was a student, Feyre had spent many hours doing coursework tucked up in one of the booths in the back.

The Rainbow was run by an a quirky guy, who had been a reasonably well known artist forty years previously. The café’s decor and constantly changing artwork was a great source of inspiration for Feyre’s final year thesis; the pastries the only thing that sustained her during that crazy final week of writing.

At night however, the café was transformed into a wine bar, popular amongst the coolest in Velaris’s art scene.

Indeed, the place was packed with people covered in paint, groups of friends having animated discussions about their latest inspiration, and couples in matching berets drinking wine.

Feyre longed so desperately to be one of them.

Maybe now she was.

All because of Tamlin.

A pang went through Feyre at the thought of all that he had done for her.

In some ways she was glad that they were meeting at the Rainbow. She felt comfortable here. Unlike at those fancy restaurants that Tamlin preferred. She would have felt on the back foot from the start if they had met somewhere like that.

But, as Feyre pushed her way through the crowd, she couldn’t help but think that it might have been a mistake for them to meet here.

If things went badly this evening, then the warm and cozy Rainbow would forever be haunted with memories of Tamlin.

He had text her a few moments ago to say that he had arrived and had managed to grab them a table in a quiet corner in the back. Considering how busy the Rainbow was on a Friday night, people crammed into whatever space they could find, Feyre couldn’t help but wonder how early Tamlin had arrived to secure a table…or what other means he might have used.

Finally, pushing past a pretty blonde with the phases of the moon tattooed across her brow, Feyre emerged at the back of the Rainbow. She spotted Tamlin at a table tucked into the corner, as far from the crowd as they could be.

“Hey,” she said, coming up to him.

Tamlin’s head shot up, “Feyre, hi.”

He made to stand up to greet her, but Feyre ignored him.

Hanging her coat on the back of the chair, she sat down in the seat opposite him. It was the first time that she had ever seen Tamlin look anything close to unsure, as he took in her stormy face.

“I hope you don’t mind,” he said, clearing his throat, “but I took the liberty of ordering you a glass of wine. I thought you would want one to calm her nerves.”

Damn him for knowing her. Of course she was nervous. Sitting opposite him, her heart raced and her hands trembled, she kept them in her lap out of view. The glass of wine she had before she leaving her apartment had got her to the Rainbow, but its effects were quickly wearing off under his gaze.

“Thanks.”

“How have you been?”

“Fine.”

Tamlin took a deep sip of his own drink. “I think you’re lying.”

“Excuse me?”

“I don’t believe that you’ve been fine. How could you be? This past while, without you Feyre…I can’t believe that it’s just been fine for you. It certainly hasn’t for me. I’ve missed you.”

Feyre took a sip of her own wine, hoping that Tamlin wouldn’t notice the tremble in her hands as she did.

He looked at her so expectantly. Waiting, she realised, for her to say that she had missed him too. But had she missed him?

She missed the goodness of him, the nice things he did for her, the warm presence of him in her bed at night, but this, now, sitting across the table for him, trying to gage his mood, her stomach flipping while she figuring out which version of Tamlin she was going to get…she didn’t miss this feeling.

“I’ve missed you too.”

His answering smile had Feyre’s chest swelling. He reached across the table to take her hand, the one she had resting on the base of her wine glass. The brush of his fingers sent shivers up her arms, but Feyre wasn’t sure if they were good.

She forced herself to continue, “I think the time apart has been good for us. I have come to realise a lot of things that I couldn’t see when I was so caught up with you.”

Feyre didn’t miss the way his smile faltered. It was only for a nanosecond, before he re-fixed his smile. Less genuine that it had been before.

“What kind of things?”

Feyre took another sip of wine, steadying herself. “When things are good between us, they’re amazing, incredible, but when they’re bad…Gods…I don’t ever want to feel like that.”

“There will always be ups and downs in a relationship Feyre.”

“Of course, but they’re supposed to be bumps on the road, not bungee jumping off a bridge.”

“Are you saying that the good is not worth the bad, between us?”

“I…I don’t know.”

Tamlin took a deep breath, leaning back in his chair. “When you walked away from me that day—.”

“I didn’t walk away from you,” Feyre interrupted.

“You did.”

“No, you left me standing in the middle of the street tears running down my face.”

“Well what was I supposed to do?” Tamlin’s face became blank. It was his mask of control, Feyre realised, the expression he made when his temper was on a short leash and he was trying to control it.

“We should have gone home together. Worked things out. That’s what two people in a relationship that was serious enough to be proposing marriage would have done.”

“You just rejected my proposal. I was devastated. I just needed to get away.”

Feyre sighed. Of course they both needed space after what happened. If they had gone home together the inevitable fight would have been explosive. “You still shouldn’t have left me,” she whispered, taking another sip of wine.

“Why did you reject me Feyre?” He asked, voice equally low.

“It was just all too fast. We’d been together less than a month.”

“They say when you know, you know.”

“Well I guess I didn’t know.”

“Is it because you think you’re better than me? Because you’re not.”

Feyre took a sharp intake of breath. She was reminding of his words on their first date together: _I’m no better than you are_. But did he want to be?

“Honestly, it’s because of the way you spoke to my sisters that night. It was a side of you I had never seen before and I didn’t like it.”

Tamlin rolled his eyes. “Those bitches?”

Tears sprung to Feyre’s eyes. She didn’t want to cry in front of him, to show him that his words could hurt her, but the fury that lit inside her, she didn’t care. “Those are my sisters!”

“You don’t need them.” Tamlin he said, before appearing to realise that she was upset. He leaned forward to take her hand but she snatched it away too quickly. The vein in his forehead popped. “Feyre, I can give you everything you need. That’s why I want marry you, I want us to be a family.”

“But marrying you, marrying anyone, doesn’t mean giving up the family that I already have.”

“No of course not, you’ll still see each other for the solstice, birthdays, that kind of thing.”

“But I don’t want to see them a few times a year, I want them to be a part of my life. I want to be a part of theirs.”

“Why?”

“Because I love them.”

“But they’re not very nice.”

“Neither are you!” She snapped.

The rage flashed in Tamlin’s eyes, but his voice remained steady. “Feyre, I’m the one who is giving you a second chance here. You might want to act like it.”

She scoffed. “You’re giving me a second chance? You’re the one who begged me to come here.”

“Don’t be ridiculous Feyre, why would I want to meet at this dump?” He asked, looking around the Rainbow as if to make a point.

“But…you suggested we meet here?”

“Because, for some unknown reason you love it, and I wanted to do something nice for you. I’m always doing nice things for you, for us.”

Feyre frowned. This was the way it was with Tamlin, she’d say something and he’d bat it back to her twisting her words. She couldn’t think straight when he was around.

“I know you’ve done a lot for me—.”

“I’ve done everything for you Feyre, given you everything, and when I wanted to give you more you rejected me.”

“I’m sor—.” The words were out of Feyre’s mouth before she had moment to think. It was like a reflex for her, something she was used to saying in order to placate him, to get him back to being his nice self, but she had been right a moment ago, Tamlin wasn’t nice.

Steeling herself she decided to say everything that had been on her mind since he had walked away from her almost two weeks ago, everything that she had come here to say. “Actually no, I’m not sorry. I never asked you to do those things for me, you did them off your own back, because it was what you wanted to do. But you never actually gave them as freely as you pretended you did. The job, the clothes, the rent you paid for me, the fancy places you took me, they gave you a sense of entitlement, like you had some right to control me, where I went, who I saw, what I did, even what I wore—.”

“Because I love you.”

“That’s not love Tamlin. You don’t love me for me, you love the idea of me, of what you could shape me into.”

“But those were things you wanted to, you wanted that job in that gallery so I got it for you.”

“And I’m grateful for that, but you can’t hold it over me as some sort of threat to keep me with you.”

“Oh please Feyre I’m not threatening you, you always have been so dramatic.”

Feyre felt those tears sting in her eyes as he dismissed her.

“That’s just what life is like with me,” he continued, “I can get you anything you want, and I mean anything. Who wouldn’t want that?”

“It’s—.”

The vain was really popping on his forehead now. “And after everything that I have done for you, I ask for one thing in return. One thing. For you to marry me, something which I thought you wanted to, and you throw it back in my face. Frankly, it’s disrespectful.”

“But Tamlin, marrying you was not just one little thing—.”

“And you think all the money I spent on pulling you out of poverty was a little thing?”

Feyre recoiled, “Poverty? I might not have lived a fancy life in the way you do, but please don’t insult me by suggesting you somehow saved me.”

Tamlin scoffed, “You know, all this, it makes me see what kind of woman you really are.”

“And what might that be?”

“Just another whore who spreads her legs for whatever man can get her what she wants.”

The tears that Feyre had been blinking away rolled freely down her face now. This was not the first time Tamlin had said something like this about her, this was just the first time that he had come out and said it explicitly.

“Fuck you,” she spat through the tears, “I never wanted anything from you, all I asked was that you loved me the way I love you.”

“Please. Who could love you, you’re nothing but a slut, a whor—.”

“Excuse me,” a smooth voice interrupted, “but that is no way to speak to a lady. No way to speak to anyone really.”

Feyre looked up. There was a man standing beside the table, dressed in all black, he was gazing down at her with concerned fill violent eyes.

_Rhysand._

Oh Gods, this wasn’t good.

She glanced at Tamlin to see his reaction, expecting him to be halfway out of his chair going for Rhys. She didn’t want a fight.

Instead, he was frozen, staring, not at Rhys but at the blonde beside him.

It took a second for Tamlin to realise what was happening. Then he was out of his chair, arm outstretched heading towards the blonde.

“Ianthe? Hi, hello. My name is Tamlin, I’m a big fan out your podcast.”

The blonde, Ianthe, smiled, taking Tamlin’s hand between both of her own and clutching it to her chest, atop her breasts. “Hi Tamlin,” her voice was low, sultry.

“Are you okay?” Rhys asked her, frowning at the display beside him.

“Feyre,” Tamlin interrupted before she had a chance to respond, “Let Ianthe sit down would you? Ianthe, would you like a drink?”

“Oh yes please, I’ll have a silk panty martini.”

“Coming right up,” he said with a smile, so male and possessive that Feyre thought she was going to be sick.

She stood up with such force, it knocked over the chair. Grabbing her coat from its back she fled through the crowd.

_Oh Gods._

_How could she be so stupid_.

————

Rhys watched Feyre push her way through the crowd.

She was clearly distressed. He had only caught the end of that ponytail was saying to her, but it wasn’t nice. He just couldn’t help but intervene. He would have done it for anyone…at least that was what he told himself.

 _Gods_.

Another chance meeting with Feyre.

He had tried convincing himself that it didn’t mean anything, that he just needed to go out and date other people to get her out of his head. Yet, here he was on a date with Ianthe, who was utterly insufferable by the way, and there was Feyre.

It was finally time he did something about it.

Without a backward glance at Ianthe, Rhys pushed through the crowd after Feyre.

She was halfway down the street by the time he broke through the crowd and out the door of the Rainbow.

“Feyre,” he called after her.

To his great surprise she stopped. Turning back, she saw him jogging towards her. Rhys was too far away to know for sure, but he could have sworn the expression that flashed across her face was one of disappointment.

He was not the one she wanted to see chasing after her.

“I’m sorry I interrupted back there, I just heard what he said and I couldn’t help myself.”

“No, it’s okay,” she said, wiping away tears that Rhys pretended not to see. She was too proud for that. “It would have escalated, it was good that you stepped in when you did.”

Rhys slide his hands into the pockets of his trousers, unsure of what to do, so he just said the first thing that came into his head. “Do you want to get ice cream?”

Feyre’s eyes grew big, staring at him. Her mouth opened. Then closed again. Then opened.

Rhys jumped in before she had time to reject him, “It’s just you seem upset and I know a great little ice cream parlour just around the corner and ice cream cheers everyone up.”

There was a long pause, Rhys could practically see the cogs in her brain turning. Eventually, she whispered, ever so quietly that Rhys wasn’t even sure he was supposed to hear it. “Why?”

“Because,” he said, rocking on his heels. “We keep running into each other, and maybe this time I don’t want to let you run away so fast.”

She shook her head, “I’m not sure.”

“It’s just ice cream Feyre. Let me make sure that you’re okay after, well, whatever that was,” he gestured back towards the Rainbow, “you can talk about it if you want, and if not then maybe I can distract you?”

There was another long pause, before she nodded. “Ice cream sounds great actually.”

Rhys smiled, and he heard her take a sharp intake of breath. “Can I offer you my arm?” He asked holding his elbow out to her.

To his surprise, for the second time that night, Feyre took it.

Neither of them said anything as Rhys lead them a few streets over to his favourite ice cream spot. He wanted her to feel comfortable in his presence, and the silence was far from awkward, not when he could almost hear her thoughts aloud.

Instead he just enjoyed the way she clung to his arm, as if holding him was keeping her steady.

“So,” he said eventually, as they approached the parlour, “what’s your favourite ice cream?”

“Chocolate,” she whispered.

Her voice was so small he glanced down at her. She was pale, staring straight ahead, unfocused. Her fingers clinging tightly to his jacket.

“Chocolate is a classic choice.”

“Yeah.”

“So, this is it,” Rhys said as they came to a stop outside the colourful storefront, with its rainbow awning.

“I’ve never been here before,” she whispered.

“I promise you it has the best ice cream,” he said, pushing open the door.

“Okay,” she said, following him into the shop.

“Rhysand!” Vivienne exclaimed as they stepped up to the counter, “It has been too long since I’ve seen that handsome face of yours. How have you been?”

“Vivienne you flatter me. I’ve been good, how are you doing?”

“Oh same as ever, can’t complain. What can I get for you two?” She asked, smiling warmly at Feyre.

“I’ll have one scoop of vanilla and one scoop of salted caramel, and Feyre will have chocolate?”

“Two scoops of chocolate, with chocolate sauce, and do you have any chocolate chunks?” Feyre said, noticeably brightening at Vivienne’s warm welcome.

“Do you want to go get us a booth?” Rhys asked as Vivienne called their order to her husband. Kallias waved at Rhys who waved back.

“Sure,” she said.

“They’re down the back.”

Rhys watched Feyre shuffle down the narrow space between the counter and the wall to get to the booths at the back, before turning to Vivienne who was watching him with a glint in her eye.

“Is this apology ice cream or cheer-up ice cream?” She asked.

“Cheer up ice cream.”

“I hope you weren’t the one to make her cry.”

“Oh come on Vivienne,” Rhys said with a smile, slipping his hands into his pockets, “when have I ever been the one to make a woman cry?”

“You’re a real heartbreaker Rhys.”

Rhys snorted, “I’m always the one ending up with my heartbroken, more like.”

Kal placed the ice creams on the counter with a wink, “These are on me,” he said.

“You don’t need to do that,” Rhys said, digging his wallet from his jacket pocket.

“We do,” Vivienne replied, “You’ve never brought anyone here before, clearly she’s special.”

“Exactly! Go get her champ.”

Rhys shook his head at his two surrogate parents, as they grinned at him from behind the counter. He slide the cost of the ice creams into the tip jar.

Taking the ice creams off the counter, he hurried to the back of the parlour before Vivienne and Kal could say anything further.

“Chocolate for you,” he said, as he slide into the booth opposite Feyre.

“How do you know them?” She asked, nodding back up the shop to where Vivienne and Kal hovered.

“I used to come here all the time as a kid.”

“My parents didn’t let us eat ice-cream.

“My parents sent me to a private boarding school in Illyria. I used to come back to Velaris for the summers, to the great annoyance of my father. He’d give me money and throw me out for the day.” Rhys shrugged, “With all my friends still up North, I used to come here. I think Viv and Kal took pity on me, but I remember those summers fondly.”

Feyre nodded, taking a spoon of ice cream. She admitted a soft sigh, closing her eyes, as it hit her tongue, causing Rhys to think sinful thoughts that he absolutely should not have, especially not when she had just been crying.

“This is incredible,” she said.

“I told you didn’t I?” He said with a chuckle, digging into his own ice cream.

“You did.”

“So what about you ?Grow up in here?”

“No, I’m from down south. I moved here for university.”

“University of Velaris?”

“Yeah.”

“Me too. What did you study?”

“Fine Arts.”

“Oh wow, that’s seriously impressive.”

Feyre shook her head, “Not really.”

“Why not?”

“It’s not like I’m ever going to be an artist. It’s not something I could ever earn a living doing.”

Rhys frowned, he was going to give her the _you can do anything pep talk_ that he was a pro at giving to his many self-critical clients, it was clearly a trait amongst artists, but Feyre just seemed to sad. Instead he said, “But you like working at the Velaris Gallery of Art?”

“Yeah it’s great, but…” She sighed into her ice cream.

“But?”

“But my ex got me that job, and it was only a trial for a few months so I don’t know if I’ll get to keep it.”

“Was that guy in the Rainbow your ex?”

“Yeah.”

“And his name was, Tampon?”

Feyre snorted, “Don’t be insulting, tampons are useful. Tamlins, however, are not.”

“Oh Gods, I didn’t interrupt a break up, did I?”

She smiled then, wry, but Rhys was happy to see it. “I think you interrupted us getting back together, so I can only thank you for that.”

“You didn’t want to get back together?”

“No.” Another sigh. “I thought I loved him, but sitting there, opposite him tonight, I was honestly scared of him.”

“That’s not how you should feel about someone you love.”

Feyre looked up then, finally making eye contact with him since she first saw him in the Rainbow. Those grey eyes shot straight through him, he felt so exposed under her gaze. “No, I didn’t think so either.”

————

The sound of his phone ringing had Cassian bouncing across his cabin. There was really only one person who called him nowadays. Only one person he wanted to hear from anyway.

“Hey sweetheart,” he said, putting the phone to his ear as he dived into his couch. Might as well get comfortable, his calls with Nesta went on for hours. Not that he noticed. Time passed quicker than he had ever felt when he was talking to her.

Her answering chuckle was enough to have Cassian’s heart singing.

 _Gods he had it bad_.

“Hey, how was your day?” She asked.

“Good, busy.” he yawned as if you emphasis his point. “I cleared the driveway of snow, so I can go to town tomorrow for groceries, and then chopped firewood until it got dark. You know, nice outdoor physical pursuits that will make my muscles nice and big.”

Nesta laughed, “So you can ogle yourself in the mirror?”

“Of course, who else is going to see them?”

“Well I was hoping that I would?”

Heat rushed through Cassian. This was the downside of a long distance relationship, Nesta’s sexy voice, even talking about the most mundane things, got him all riled up. And the only outlet he had was his own hand. Pathetic.

“I wish sweetheart, but my internet is too slow to support video calling…” Gods, the thought of phone sex with Nesta had his cock growing hard. No amount of physical exertion, shovelling snow or chopping firewood, was going to take the edge of his longing for her. “Maybe I could take some pictures though?”

“What about in person?”

Cassian sat up in his chair, pressing his phone harder against his ear. “Do you have some news for me Ms Archeron?”

“Maybe…” He could hear the teasing lilt to her voice.

“Tell me everything?”

“So my firm has considered the application submitted by the group you assembled.”

The day Cassian had arrived back from Velaris he had gone into down, to the pub, where he found all the locals. They had been sceptical at first that anything they could do would stop the development of the wild Illyrian landscape. Cassian wanted to say that it was the rousing speech he had given them about standing up for what they believed in, and protecting these ancient forests, but in reality they only seemed to get on board once he mentioned that he was dating a lawyer who might be interested in representing them.

He wasn’t sure at first whether they did actually want to save the forrest, or if they just wanted a chance to meet the girl who had finally stolen his heart. But since that first day, the grumpy old-timers had got down to work. They had been far more fastidious that Cassian could ever had hoped to be, compiling a whole dosser of evidence within a few days that he was able to send to Nesta.

“And they decided that there is a possible case.”

“That doesn’t really sound like much of a decision?”

She laughed again, “Trust me, for lawyers, this is a big deal.”

“Okay…”

“Anyway, they wanted to send someone to Illyria to meet with the locals and get a picture of the situation on the ground before making a final decision, and they asked me.”

“Really?!” Cassian’s heart started beating rapidly, the grin that spread across his face threatening to split his cheeks.

“Well they asked if anyone was interested in making the trip up North, and I told them that if they didn’t let me go then I would fight them. Besides, I already have somewhere to stay so it will save the company putting me up in a hotel, so frankly sending me is the smartest business decision.”

Now it was Cassian’s turn to laugh, “That’s my girl.”

“So, I’ll be in Illyria from Thursday until Monday.”

“A long weekend, sounds fantastic!”

“I hoped you would think so.”

“Of course, I can’t wait to see you.”

“I can’t want to see you too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

And wasn’t that the best thing that Cassian had ever heard.

————

Elain padded back to bed, and snuggled into the crook of Lucien’s outstretched arm.

“You okay?” He asked her, planting a kiss on the top of her head.

She nodded against him, “Yes, I just always pee after sex.”

“Smart.”

Since that first night when Lucien had pressed his mouth against her, he had stayed over most nights. They had taken things slowly, and Elain was grateful for just how patient Lucien was with her. He truly didn’t seem to mind that Elain didn’t want to undress in front of him. Not when he whispered such beautiful things in her ear as he pumped inside her.

For the first time in her life Elain felt sexy.

She enjoyed sex.

But as amazing as Lucien was, she couldn’t shake the nagging thought that tugged at the back of her mind. If this was how good it was with Lucien, just how incredible would it be with Azriel?


	13. Chapter Twelve

Cassian was in a flap.

He was running around his kitchen, tea-towel thrown over one shoulder, hair sticking to his face, as he tried to set the table while stirring two pots on the stove top, and keeping a check on the food in the oven.

Nesta had offered to help but Cassian had banished her to the couch, where she was now curled up with a glass of wine, looking around his cabin.

It was strange having her in his space. He wasn’t used to having anyone in the cabin, but Nesta, dressed in her dark corporate clothes, certainly didn’t look like she belonged.

If Cassian was honest, he felt a bit exposed under her gaze. His cabin was pretty bare. It was functional, homey in a lived in sense rather than decorated as such. No pictures hung on the walls, the wooden floors were bare, the soft furnishings consisted of a big couch and an armchair in front of the wood-burner.

Realising that women enjoyed both warmth and comfort, in a panic that morning he had headed out into one of the shipping containers he kept on his property as water tight storage, digging through it until he found one of his mother’s old blankets. He had thrown it over the couch in an effort to make the place look more comfortable. Unfortunately, the heat of the fire was causing the blanket to emit a wet dog smell that was overpowering even his cooking.

With a final check, Cassian decided the food in the oven was ready. Tugging the tea-towel free of his shoulder he lifted the tray out and onto the stove top.

“That smells incredible,” Nesta said padding over to the kitchenette.

_Makes a change from wet dog._

His focus was distracted as Nesta came up behind him. Wrapping her arms around his waist she pressed herself against his back.

Immediately, Cassian felt relaxed…and turned on.

 _Gods, it was insane how much this woman effected him_.

It was as if he had popped a Xanaxand viagra. A heady combination. _No pun intended_.

The latter he hoped would be where the evening ended up, but first, he had to feed his woman.

“Hungry?” He asked, twisting so he could put one arm around Nesta, pulling her into his side.

“Starving.”

“You want to grab some more wine while I carve the meat?” He asked, pressing a kiss to her head.

“Sure,” she said, releasing him and heading for the fridge.

Cassian wasn’t much of a wine drinker, but he didn’t think he’d be able to woo Nesta with beer, besides, it made him gassy, and if they night was going to progress in the way he hoped it would…well it was a sacrifice he was willing to make.

He carried the trays of meat and vegetables to the table, along with gravy, and a loaf of sourdough that he had baked himself. It was a simple meal, but one he knew tasted good. He just hoped that Nesta would like it.

“Everyone is very excited to meet with you tomorrow,” he said, settling himself at the table. Tomorrow, Nesta would meet with the group of locals that he had assembled to work on resisting efforts of development companies who had bought land in Illyria, to log the ancient forests and extract materials from its earth.

“What have you told them about me?” She asked with a wry smile, as she began shovelling vegetables onto her plate.

“Oh not much, just that you’re this totally incredible sexy goddess, who is also wicked smart, and cares about the environment,” he shrugged, stuffing some bread into his mouth, “the definition of perfection.”

“Not much then?”

Cassian swallowed, “I think most of them are only coming tomorrow because they want to see if you’re real. They can’t figure out why a girl like you is with a guy like me.”

“It’s because of my brain aneurysm,” she said without missing a beat.

“Oh good, so not because I kidnapped you and am holding you hostage in my cabin as the townsfolk fear?”

“No, it’s definitely because of my own mental fragility…and self esteem issues.”

“Took advantage of you, did I?”

“I’m but a weak woman easily seduced by your charms and handsome face.”

Cassian laughed. Back and forth they went, teasing each other until all the food was gone, dishes were put away, and they settled themselves back on the couch in front of the fire.

“Ugh that blanket stinks,” he said, pulling it off the back of the couch, and dumping it onto the floor.

“Oh thank Gods, I wasn’t sure whether to tell you. I feared you didn’t notice.”

“How could I not have noticed, it’s made my cabin smell like wet dog.”

“I thought maybe you were nose-blind.”

He rolled his eyes, “No, I was just trying to make this place more comfortable for you.”

“For me?”

Cassian felt himself blush. He looked at her shyly. “Yeah I know this place is a bit bare, I wanted it to be nice for you.”

She smiled, looking down at her glass to avoid his eye. “How did I get so lucky as to have a boyfriend as sweet as you?”

Cassian smiled, “I like when you call me that.”

“What?”

“Your boyfriend.”

“Well you are.”

“I know, but it’s nice.”

Their eyes met then, shining in the warmglow of the fire. As they gazed at each other, shy smiles playing on both their faces, the world seemed to slow. All that mattered to Cassian was that Nesta was here with him, the warmth of her body pressing against him as she nestled under his arm.

He didn’t know how to put into words how he felt about her.

So he decided to show her instead.

His hand shook slightly, as he drained his glass of whiskey. Taking Nesta’s glass from her, he placed it on the floor beside him. She didn’t object. He knew she knew what was coming next.

When he bent his head. His lips findings hers.

The kiss was slow and deep.

But when Nesta sucked on his lower lip, Cassian groaned. Without realising, he pushed Nesta back onto the couch, covering her with his body.

Their kissing became more heated. His arms slide under her body, holding her tightly against him. His knee working its way between her thighs, coaxing her to spread them, so he could nestle himself comfortably between them.

Cassian’s cock had grown hard, the head of him throbbed for the feel of her against him. He needed to have his hands on her, to feel that soft skin under his own calloused palms. The desire was overwhelming.

As he dropped his head to plant hot, open mouth, kisses to her neck, he heard her sharp intake of breath.

“Hey,” she said, putting her hands against his chest to push him back, “I just need a minute.”

 _Damn_.

“Yeah of course,” he said, easing himself off her, “is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be back in a sec,” she said, pressing a quick kiss to his mouth.

As he watched her climb off the couch, grabbing her bag before heading to the bathroom, he almost asked her if it was her time of the month. He didn’t really care if it was. Why else would she run off to the bathroom just as things were getting heated? Maybe she just wanted to freshen up after her flight. Again, not that he cared.

Nothing was stopping him getting inside her.

Well unless she didn’t want him to. Then he’d happily curl up beside her for the rest of the night.

But _Gods_ he hoped she wanted it too.

The physical longing he had for Nesta was not like anything he had ever felt before.

He rubbed his sternum, he had an actual ache in his chest whenever she wasn’t around. Stretching out on the couch, he frowned at his cock. He was so hard it was practically punching through the zipper of his jeans.

“Calm down buddy, we’ll have her,” he mumbled.

_Great, now he was talking to himself. To his penis. Like it was a separate entity._

_To be fair, it could have been. It felt as though it had its own heartbeat._

He sighed, dropping his head back onto the couch. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on his breathing.

That was how Nesta found him, when a few moments later, the bathroom door clicked open.

“Are you okay?” She asked.

“Yeah, I—.” Cassian looked to where she stood in the doorway and the words vanished off his tongue. His brain short-circuiting, body growing impossibly harder as he took in the sight before him.

Heck, his soul left his body.

For Nesta was the sexiest thing he had ever seen.

She had taken off the black wrap dress that she had been wearing, the one he had been fantasying about tearing off her since he had picked her up at the airport. He had imagined pulling loose the tie at her waist and watching it fall to the floor—.

But now… _Gods above._

His gaze moved up her body.

From the lacy stockings that covered her long legs, to the sexy black lingerie body she wore, emphasising her hourglass figure, her thick hips, her tiny waist. Her ample breasts spilled from the top in a way so enticing that Cassian wanted to bury his head there. To touch, to kiss, to suck whatever he could.

Her hair was down. Falling loose around her shoulders.

Cassian opened his mouth to say something, to tell her how incredibly stunning she was, how much he wanted her. Desired her. Lusted for her.

She was an angel fallen from the heavens.

A devil having crawled out of his dirtiest fantasy.

 _Fuck_.

The noise that came out of him, from deep within his chest, was a moan of surrender.

Nesta chuckled, the sound utterly. seductive.

“See something you like?” She asked. Her eyes sparkled with teasing as she came towards him, hips swaying.

He moaned again. She wasn’t even touching him and yet he was so close to the edge. His cock throbbed in its denim prison. Begging for release.

She came to stand between his spread legs.

As if he was disembodied, Cassian watched his hands come up to grab her hips, pulling her closer to him. His hands skimmed down to squeeze her ass.

He took a deep breath at the bare skin he found there.

He pushed her hips, and she spun. Twirling for him, so he could check out the back view of her little outfit.

The back was cut high, thong style, her peachy ass on full view.

“Fucking hell, Nes,” he swore as she came back around to face him.

She leant forward, giving him an even better view of her cleavage, before she pressed a kiss to his mouth.

Licking, sucking, nipping, she teased him before she finally slid her tongue into his mouth.

Fucking him.

Cassian was more than content to let his now liquid body sink back into the cushions and let his woman take control…for now.

Her hands drifted across the broad width of his shoulders, down his chest.

Slowly, she began unbuttoning his shirt.

Her mouth left his, kissing a trail down his neck that had him throwing his head back to give her more access to the sensitive spots that drove him wild.

She continued down onto his chest, pressing a kiss to the bare skin revealed as each button was undone.

Before long he was shirtless. Breathing heavily.

Then, in one swift move, she was kneeling before him. Her hands going for his belt buckle.

“Sweetheart,” he protested, - or begged, he wasn’t sure - as she pulled the leather free.

Pulling the zipper down, she reached her hand inside his jeans and—.

Cassian hips jerked.

Hissing at the contact she made with his skin.

Her hand wrapped around his throbbing length.

 _Fucking hell_.

This was agony.

In the best possible way.

“Comando?” She asked, quirking an eyebrow at him.

Gods, Nesta between his legs, gripping his cock, wearing what she was wearing, making that face. He had died and gone to heaven.

————

Cassian was spectacular, Nesta thought as she pulled him free of his jeans.

That hard proud length of him springing free.

 _Gods he was huge_.

She was lost in the moment, watching her hand, unable to close around his thick shaft, stroke him up and down.

It was the moan _please_ that fell from Cassian’s lips that snapped her back to attention.

Looking up into those deep hazel eyes that stared at her so intently, she swept her hair to one side.

Her tongue flicked out, wetting her lower lip.

Cassian went completely still, as she leant forward and swept her tongue around the head of his cock.

His hands came down to gather her hair, keeping it out of her way, as she took him deeper into her mouth.

She took as much as she could, bobbing up and down, working him in time with her hand.

It wasn’t long before his hips were rolling with her.

“Sweetheart,” he bit out, as she tongued that sensitive spot.

Suddenly, Nesta wasn’t on the floor anymore.

In a move quicker than she had thought possible, Cassian had popped her off his cock, pulling her into his arms as he stood from the couch.

She wrapped her legs around his waist, her nails sinking into his shoulders, clinging on as he carried them across the cabin’s main room and into his bedroom.

The chill of being away from the fire had Nesta’s skin pebbling, her nipples hardening.

Cassian set her down so gently on his bed.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, before pressing a kiss to her lips.

His hot body then came down to cover hers as his kisses moved to the side of her mouth, to her jaw, her neck. He kissed a trail down to the tops of her breasts. Everywhere he touched seem to leave a trail of fire in his wake.

“I don’t want to take this off,” he mumbled, slowly palming her breast through her lingerie.

She had hoped he would like it, she had bought it specially for him. _Gods_ , the expression on his face when she had stepped from the bathroom. She knew then that she had made the right decision.

Putting him out of his misery, torn between keeping her lingerie in place, and getting access to her breasts, she reached up to pull the cups down. Exposing her breasts to him.

“You’re so fucking sexy” he whispered as his gazed dropped to her bared flesh.

His voice was hoarse, as if he was struggling to keep control of himself.

And _Gods_ did she want him to give up control.

She wanted him to unleash himself upon her.

“Please,” she whispered, desperate for contact.

Cassian’s head dropped. His mouth finding one puckered nipple. Nesta moaned, her back arching, as he licked and sucked one breast, while palming the other.

He legs tightened around him, pulling him closer to her.

She could feel had hard cock resting against the thin fabric covering her cunt.

She rocked her hips, trying to get friction to ease her throbbing clit.

Cassian moaned against her in response, dropping his weight down onto her, resting in the cradle of her pelvis.

And then he was gone.

His mouth was off her breast, his weight no longer pressed into her.

“Cass?” She asked, making to sit up, but those big, calloused palms of his grabbed hold of her thighs and pulled her towards him.

He was kneeling beside the bed, his hazel eyes, big and hungry as he looked up at her. _Gods_ she loved how he looked at her.

_He was incredible, in every way._

“Nes?”

“Hummm?”

“Can I eat you out?”

His words send a jolt through her. Her body was so hot, so on edge. She was desperate for a release.

“Fucking hell Cass!”

“Is that a yes?” He asked what that self-satisfied grin of his that both infuriated her and ignited a passion within her. She had never wanted anyone as badly as she wanted him, now.

“Fuck yes!”

He grabbed the crotch of her suit, pulling it to one side, exposing her. The cool air that hit her exposed cunt was a new type of torture, but one that only lasted for a second. Cassian didn’t bother with fingers, before he brought his mouth against her.

His tongue ran in a long stroke from her soaked opening to her throbbing clit. They both moaned.

“Fuck sweetheart, you’re so wet,” he mumbled against her.

Her hands came down onto his head, as if she could direct him to the spot that would bring her the most relief.

“Just for you,” she whispered back.

“You taste incredible.”

Another long link.

“Smell incredible.”

Lick.

“I’ve wanted this for so long.”

Lick.

She jumped as he latched onto her clit, her fingers knotting in his hair holding him in pale as he sucked and tongued.

She wasn’t going to last long.

Soon her breathing was coming fast and hard. Still Cassian didn’t let up. He had her so close to the edge now and he wasn’t going to stop until he pushed her off.

 _Please_ she started to beg. First silently, and then louder. Repeating it like a mantra.

“Fuck. Cass. Please.”

The tension built and built deep in her belly.

 _Gods_ she was right there.

Finally, like a great wave, the pleasure crashed over her. She went rigid, as it rocked through her whole body. Again and again, it seemed to last forever, before her body finally went limp on the bed.

Cassian’s tongue swirled around her clit a few more times, before he lifted himself from the floor, covering again with his body.

“Hey,” he breathed.

Only then did Nesta realise her eyes were scrunched shut. “Hey,” she smiled, eyelids fluttering open.

“How was that?”

“Incredible,” she said, bringing her hands up to stroke his face. “You’re incredible.”

“You’re pretty incredible yourself,” he said, leaning down to kiss her. Nesta could taste herself on his mouth.

_It was so fucking erotic._

Just like that the heat deep inside her ratcheted up again.

“Cass?”

“Yeah?”

“I feel empty.”

He pulled back to look at her, frowning. “Empty?”

She nodded against the bed. “My cunt feels empty without you inside me.”

His head dropped to her shoulder with a cruse. “You’re going to be the death of me Nesta Archeron, you know that, don’t you?”

“There are worse ways to go.”

“There are, but this is heaven, I don’t want to know what the afterlife is like.”

She laughed, running her fingernails down his back.

With a deep sigh, he lifted himself off her.

Tugging his jeans off, she finally got to see his whole body.

His beautiful face, broad shoulders covered in tattoos, thick strong arms, big chest, rock hard stomach, his thick thighs, and long legs, but _Gods_ that cock.

Nesta felt her cut tighten as she took in the sight of him. She needed to feel him inside of her. She was desperate for it.

Cassian pulled a condom from the drawer of his bedside table. Turning back to her, he held her eye, as he rolled it down onto his length.

Fuck was that sexy.

With that insufferable grin, he dove back onto the bed, on top of her. His arms wrapping around her, holding her tight against him. She loved how tiny she felt in his arms, how protected she was by this big strong male.

She ran her hands across his shoulders, she could not get enough of the touch of him. Spreading her legs to allow him access, Cassian rolled his hips to line himself up with her wet entrance. All the more wet now that he had had his mouth on her.

“Ready?” He whispered in her ear.

“Please Cass, fuck me,” she whispered back.

But he didn’t.

Instead, he made love to her.

Slow and sensual, he rolled his hips against her, thrusting in and out, as they stared deeply into each other’s eyes.

And as she shattered in his arms, she had only one thought.

_I love you._


	14. Chapter Thirteen

Feyre flopped down on her sofa. 

It was a Friday night, she had nowhere to go and nothing to do. 

_Gods it was depressing_. 

Pulling her phone from her back pocket she typed out a long apologetic messages to her friends. She had totally neglected them over the last month and a half; since she had first met Tamlin. Ignoring the group chat, not replying to their messages, blowing off their plans to meet. She felt unbearably guilty about it. 

In the beginning she had tried to keep in touch with them, but Tamlin always got upset if she spent a long time on her phone. It was disrespectful he had said, for her to be texting her friends when he was spending time with her. Then he’d start with the inquisition, wanting to know who she was messaging and why. _Was his attention not good enough for her?_

Feyre sighed. In hindsight the warning signs were there, she had just failed to see them. 

Refused to see them. 

Pressing send, she knew she wasn’t going to save her friendships with just one message, she just hoped her friends would give her a chance to redeem herself. 

But as their replies flooded her phone, she wasn’t sure why she had ever doubted them. 

Ressina was the first one to reply. 

> **She returns!!!!**

Followed soon by:

> **Omg I’m just reading your message and it’s absolutely insane! We need to get drinks this week so you can tell us all about it.**

Clotho’s response came moment later:

> **Never apologise for being AWOL. We all go through things at times. We were just worried about you <3**

Ressina:

> **We did think you might have been dead at one point, but figured we’d hear from your sisters if you were.**

Feyre smiled, Gods she loved these girls. 

> **I’ve missed you all so much. Drinks this week sounds good :)**

It was Nephelle who replied next.

> **HE PROPOSED?!!! WTF?!!! Yes drinks this week are a must!!!**

Feyre:

> **Honestly, those are just the headlines of the story. So much more to tell you in person.**

Clotho:

> **Can’t wait to hear it :) I hope you’re okay tho?**

Feyre:

> **Yeah it’s been a crazy month. Just want my friends around me again - heartbreak sucks!**

Clotho:

> **< 3 <3 <3**

Nephelle:

> **We’re here if you need anything- will bring my listening ears to drinks!!!**

Ressina: 

> **I’m sorry you’re going through it girl, but you know, the only way to get over one man is to get under another ;)**

The chat kept pinging. A day for drinks being arranged, but it was those words that Ressina had typed that stayed with Feyre. She started at the screen for a long time, before, without conscious thought her thumbs closed the messaging app and scrolled across her home screen to another, one that she just hadn’t been able to bring herself to delete. 

It was as if some tiny part of her, no matter how entangled with Tamlin she became, had known. 

She opened Swipe. 

Pulling up her profile, and with a thumb biting smile, she changed her bio. 

Settling back into the cushions, Feyre began swiping left and right on the faces of the men that appeared before her. 

_Andras_

_Yes. Right._

_Attor_

_No. Left._

_Bron_

_Yes. Right._

_Dagdan_

_No. Left._

_Wym_

_Fuck no. Left._

_Drakon_

_Fuck yes. Right._

She was really starting to enjoy herself, swiping on faces, fantasying about the fun she could have with these men, when a profile appeared that made her body go all hot, her stomach twisting, her limbs loose and useless. 

_Gods was he handsome._

Not that she hadn’t noticed before, but she’d always been careful to avert to her gaze. She would have been so embarrassed if he caught her ogling him. He certainly didn’t need the ego boost. 

But in the privacy of her own home, with no one around, she stared at him. At his handsome face. His lean, toned body.

_Gods._

A flush of heat ran through her. 

His smile was so warm, easy in all his photos. Especially the last one. He laughed with two friends. _Brothers maybe?_ Had she seen this photograph before? It looked familiar. 

Feyre zoomed in on the picture. 

One of the guys was the giant who had comforted her in the gallery that night she had lost it over Tamlin. 

_Oh my Gods_. 

The recognition dawned on her.

He was dating her sister. 

_Cassian? Was that his name?_

Velaris was a small place, she thought, shaking her head. She wondered if he had known who she was. Whether that was the reason he had been so kind to her. She thought back on the evening…

He had asked her if she’d known Nesta. 

Thought that she looked like her.

_Well they did_.

Feyre was just a taller, leaner, less beautiful, more freckly version of her eldest sister. 

She had just been about to ask him how he knew her sister when Rhysandhad interrupted. 

_Rhys_.

Her hands shook slightly as she scrolled down to read his bio.

_Rhysand. 28. I tried wishing on a shooting star for love. Now I’m trying Swipe_. 

With her heart pounding loudly in her ears, Feyre swiped up. 

————

Rhys was stretched out of his couch watching the game. His boy, Az, had scored two goals, to put Velaris in the lead against Adriata 3-1. 

As the whistle blew for the end of the second third, Rhys reached for his phone to message Cass. The notification he received from Swipe surprised him. He hadn’t been on the app since his failed date with Ianthe. 

Clicking open the notification he froze at the face that popped up, framed with red hearts. 

_A mega match_. 

And from none other than the woman he had spent the last month and a half obsessing over. 

The women who he got ice cream with the week before and decided that it wasn’t right for him to try anything with her. 

She was so upset. She needed time and space to come to terms with her failed engagement. 

To heal.

Rhys had decided that if it was meant to be then the universe would throw them into each other’s paths again. When the time was right. 

And yet, here she was, a week later, mega matching him. 

_Gods._

He clicked through her pictures. She was so beautiful. Happy. Free in a way that he hadn’t seen in the woman he met in person. 

Because her ex had crushed that. 

He took a deep breath, suppressing the anger that threatened to bubble up within him at the thought of the way that ponytail had treated her. 

He scrolled down to her bio. A startled laugh escaping him. 

_Feyre. 24. Well, you can’t be any worse than my last boyfriend_. 

She wasn’t wrong. 

Accepting the match, he typed out a quick message. 

> **We meet again.**

Her reply was instant. 

> **Doesn’t seem like I can avoid you.**

> **But why would you want to avoid me? ;)**

> **Because you’re insufferable :P**

> **I think you mean “loveable rogue”!**

> **I really don’t…**

> **Who you find sexy.**

There was a long pause before her next reply came. The whistle blew starting the third third, but Rhys couldn’t focus on the game. Not as his stomach did flips. Maybe he shouldn’t have said that. It was too forward. 

Damn, he hoped he hadn’t scared her off…

> **That, I do.**

_Fuck._

Rhys’s body tingled. His hands shook slightly, his heart thumping, as he typed out his next message. 

> **We should do something about that then?**

> **What do you have in mind?**

> **A date?**

> **Without tears this time? ;)**

> **No tears, and an actual meal, not just ice cream.**

> **Maybe we could get ice cream for dessert? It is the best in Velaris, after all :)**

> **Is that a yes?**

> **Yes x**

————

Elain was pacing around her living room. 

Her hands were clammy. She kept rubbing them on the skirts of her dress, but it was no use. 

She had run to the bathroom twice to pat down her armpits so the sweat stains didn’t soak through onto the fabric. 

_Gods she was a mess_. 

She had called Azriel earlier, to wish him luck before the game, and as they talked she realised what she had to do. 

Elain knew she was making the right decision. But that didn’t make it any easier. 

She felt terrible. 

She had never broken up with anyone before. 

Greyson had left her, and well, there had never really been anyone before that. 

Gods, maybe she should have called Lucien. Given him the heads up as to what he was walking into. He thought that he was coming over to have sex, to spend the night cuddling, but instead she was going to drive a stake through his heart. 

_Oh Gods. Oh Gods. Oh Gods._

Her pacing got quicker. Her breaths shallower. Her whole body trembled with fear, with adrenaline. 

Just as Elain thought she was going to combust, the doorbell chimed. 

Racing through the hallway she tore open the front door. 

“Hey—.” Lucien’s eyes went wide. “Elain, are you okay?”

“Yes. No. Oh Lucien, I don’t know. Just come in.” She swept the door to one side, allowing him to step into the house. 

He seemed to know better than to go in for a kiss. Toeing off his shoes, and hanging up his jacket, he followed her into the living room. 

Gesturing for him to sit, Elain resumed her pacing. Lucien perched on one of the armchairs, his forearms braced on his thighs, his brow creased as he watched her. “Elain, what is it?”

“Oh Lucien,” she practically wailed, her whole body was vibrating as she paced.

“Elain, I’m really worried here, you need to tell me what’s going on?”

“I don’t know how to tell you.” 

“Why don’t you sit down?”

“I can’t. I have too much energy.”

“Okay…Tell me is everything okay with you? Are you well?”

She paused. “Yes, I’m well.”

“Okay good, so if you are well then whatever it is you have to tell me can’t be that big a deal then can it?”

She resumed her pacing. “I just don’t know how to say it…without hurting you.”

Lucien blinked. Sitting back in the chair. “So it’s about me?”

“Yes.”

“You can tell me. I promise I won’t be offended.”

“Truly?”

“Truly.” 

Elain took a deep breath. Whirling towards him suddenly as the words exploded from her mouth, “Lucien, I can’t do this anymore.”

“Do what?”

“Have sex with you.” 

The sides of Lucien’s mouth quirked, as if he was trying not to laugh. “Okay…” he said after a moment. “Can I ask why?”

Elain couldn’t quite look at him, so she focused on the plant across the room as she said, “Because I can’t stop thinking about someone else.” 

Lucien stood then, coming towards her. 

“I’m so sorry Lucien,” she said, taking a step back, “I never meant for anyone to get hurt. It was never my intention to upset you. I’ve been having the most wonderful time with you, you’re absolutely fantastic, an amazing, honourable man, but…”

“But, there is someone else?” He finished for her.

“Yes.”

Lucien smiled then, a broad genuine smile. He took her hands in his own, “Elain, it’s okay. Thank you for being honest with me,” he said, pressing a kiss to both hands. 

“You’re not upset?” She asked, quizzically. 

He shrugged. “I’m disappointed, sure, I’ve been having a great time with you over the past few weeks, but I figured we were never really serious. I’m happy that you’ve met someone you really like.”

Elain’s heart soared, “Really?”

“Yes, of course. That’s all any of us really want, isn’t it?”

“Oh Lucien!” Elain moaned again, pulling her hands free of his she jumped towards him, throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him into a tight hug. “You’re just so wonderful, I’m not sure if that makes this whole thing better of worse.”

He laughed softly against her ear, as he bent down into the hug, wrapping his arms tightly around her. “Would you rather I screamed at you?”

“Well, no.”

“Good, because that’s not going to change anything.” 

She pulled back to look at him. His expression was so warm and genuine. “Lucien, can we still be friends?”

“Elain, it would be an honour to be your friend.”


	15. Chapter Fourteen

“That was absolutely incredible,” Elain said leaning back in her chair, stuffed. It was Azriel’s first night back in Velaris after a spate of away games and he had invited her over for lasagne. The one thing he now knew how to cook. 

“I’m glad you liked it,” he said with a small smile, “It’s an old family recipe.” 

Elain giggled, “You’ve really perfected it.” 

That adorable blush coloured Azriel’s cheeks, “I may have practiced a few times since our class.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s the only thing I know how to cook and it tastes good so…” he shrugged. 

“We could go to another class if you want? Or maybe I could give you private lessons?”

That blush deepened. “Private lessons would be good.”

The words were innocent, but the heated look they shared was not. 

Azriel was the first to blink. Standing from the table he set about clearing their plates. 

“Here, let me help you with that,” Elain said, gathering her own plate.

“No, please sit.” Azriel’s hand touched her shoulder, pressing her gently back into her seat. “You’re a guest in my home, let me look after it. 

Elain would have protested, but the warmth of his hand, even through her cardigan, sent delicious shivers through her body, rendering her momentarily speechless. 

She watched as Azriel gathered the plates, and headed for the kitchen. He was beautiful in every way, but physically he stirred something in her that she wasn’t sure she had ever felt before. Not about Lucien, and certainly not about Greyson. It was the way his body moved, long and lean, strong, his broad shoulders, his peachy ass that Elain so desperately wanted to sink her…

That would come later…if she was lucky.

There was just one small thing she had to do first. 

“Do you want dessert?” Azriel asked, turning to look at her again. There was so much depth in those hazel eyes, Elain felt exposed, vulnerable, under his gaze. 

“Maybe in a little while, I’m pretty full right now,” she said, rubbing her full belly in demonstration.

Elain’s body had changed so much in the short time she had spent with Lucien and Azriel. Her stomach was becoming soft and round, more fat was gathering on her hips and thighs, and to Elain’s great delight, her once flat chest was starting to bud. 

Before, Elain would have hated herself. But Lucien and Azriel, two men who’s company she felt so relaxed in, who loved food and ate lots of it, and who never commented on her body, unless the former was whispering dirty compliments in her ear, they had done a lot to help her on her recovery. 

She still had a long way to go, to stop equating her value with the appreciation men showed for her body, but she would always be grateful to them for their kindness. Even if they were unaware. 

She had an upcoming appointment with her doctor, and Elain for once, couldn’t wait to stand on the scales and see the number getting bigger. Her doctor would be so proud too. 

Azriel was saying something. Elain snapped out of her reverie to catch, “…we could watch a movie?”

“Actually Azriel, can you sit down for a minute?”

Azriel’s face revealed nothing, as he rejoined her at the dinning room table, but Elain could tell he was nervous. He had immediately drawn in on himself, not speaking, as if to protect himself from whatever was coming next. “It’s okay, I just want to talk to you about something.”

He nodded. Those hazel eyes fixed on her. 

“Hey,” she said, reaching across the table to take his hand, “it’s okay.”

His massive palm dwarfed hers. His thumb stroking her knuckles as if reassure himself. 

“I just wanted to be honest with you,” she began. 

Possibly the worst thing to say given his sharp intake of breath. 

“About how I’m feeling about everything, about us.”

His hand slackened in hers, he went to move it away, but Elain clung on fiercely. Her body thrumming with nerves and excitement, at finally getting to say the words that she had been planning for days to say to him. 

“I really like you Azriel.”

He froze, his eyes like saucers as he gazed at her.

“I’ve loved the last month of getting to know you. Talking on the phone every evening is the highlight of my day. I love being around you even more, you are so kind and charming, you put me so at ease. I think you’re the most wonderful person I have ever met—.”

“But?” He whispered. 

“No, Azriel, no buts!” Her heart was really pounding now. “I really like you. I love spending time with you, talking to you. When you’re not around you’re all that I can think about, and when you are around, in person, over the phone, via text, it’s like a giant balloon of happiness inflates in my chest squeezing it so tightly I want to burst.”

Azriel looked utterly lost.

“I want to be with you Azriel, I want to continue to get to know you, I want to meet your friends and your family, I want to introduce you to mine. I want us to spend all of our free time together. I want us to…to…” she trailed off, blushing at what she almost exclaimed. 

She had said enough, he knew where she stood. She just hoped he was standing in the same place. 

_Oh Gods what if he didn’t feel the same way_. She was going to be devastated.

“Elain Archeron,” he whispered, his voice cracking, “did you just ask me to be your boyfriend?”

The sparkle that appeared in his intense hazel eyes was not one that Elain had ever seen before. It sent her heart soaring.

“I think maybe I did.” 

His answering smile was dazzling. Then he was up beside her, pulling her to her feet and into his arms. 

“I wanted to ask you, but I thought maybe it was too soon,” he said, still beaming down at her.

Elain couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. She wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing her body up against his big, hard one. She felt herself flush. “Is it too soon?”

“To ask me to be your boyfriend?” His big hands came down to circle her waist. 

“Yes.”

“No, I don’t think so,” he replied as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. 

“So is that a yes then?”

“A yes?” Another kiss, on her nose this time. 

“Will you be my boyfriend?”

His face grew solemn. “I would love nothing more than to be your boyfriend.” 

And then his lips were on her mouth. 

They had kissed once before, at the end of their second date. It was chaste and sweet. Everything that this kiss was not. This kiss was hot and searing as Azriel’s lips crashed down on her own. He tightened his hold on her, pulling her close against his body. It was just as well, as Elain’s body went all limp and soft in his arms. Heat like she had never felt rushed through her, pooling between her legs. 

“Azriel,” she gasped breaking away from the kiss.

“Hummm?” He asked, leaning in to kiss her again. 

“There’s one more thing.”

He pulled back to look at her then. “Okay?”

“In the interests of being honest, I think you should know that I was seeing someone else for a little while too.”

His face tightened slightly, but he said nothing. 

“I ended things with him though, when I realised that I wanted to be with you.”

That shy smile tilted his lips again. “And when did you realise that you wanted to be with me?”

“I think it had been coming for a while. He is a great guy, but whenever I was with him I always imagined how much better things would be if it were you.”

Azriel’s eyes heated, his hands tightening on her waist again. “What kind of things did you do with him that you imagined were better with me?” He asked, his voice deep. 

Elain blushed. 

Azriel’s head dropped, his nose tracing the outline of her ear. 

Goosebumps spread across Elain’s skin at the contact. She was trapped in his tight hold, nestled against his chest. Her heart was thumping in her own chest, but she was not scared. She was aroused. 

“Tell me Elain,” he purred. 

“When…when I lay with him,” she whispered against him. 

“When you lay with him,” Azriel swallowed, “you thought of me?”

She nodded. “I wanted to know how it would feel with you.” 

Azriel’s forehead fell to rest on her shoulder. “Gods Elain.” 

“Do you…do you not want to?” She asked.

His hands grabbed her hips then, pulling her lower body against him…so she could feel him. 

_Oh_.

He was long and hard underneath his jeans, and she knew that if he were to feel her, she would be wet and ready to take him. 

“I know it’s been some time for you,” she said, her hand coming up to stroke his cheek. In response he nuzzled her neck, sending more delicious tingles through her. 

“I haven’t forgotten, if that’s what you’re wondering?”

“Are you sure?” She whispered, teasing him.

“Certain.”

“Show me.”

In one swift move, she was up in his arms, Azriel carrying her across the living space to his bedroom. He kicked open the door with his foot. Somehow managing to switch on the bedside lamp as he lay her out gently. His body coming to settle on top of hers. 

And then it was on. 

Their months came together, tongues clashing, as their hands tore at clothes, desperate to feel skin. 

Elain had never felt need like this before. She yearned to have Azriel’s body against hers, inside hers. Her core aching for him. 

She wrapped her legs tightly around his narrow hips, pulling him against her. With a moan against her neck, Azriel sank deep into the space she had created. Her dress and his trousers in the way of her getting what she really wanted. 

She clawed at his shirt with reckless abandon. 

“Oh my Gods,” she breathed, as Azriel knelt up off her to help her get his shirt off. His torso was pure muscle. All the gloriously bumpy ridges, it wasn’t so much a six-pack as a twelve-pack. Elain didn’t care, all she wanted to do was run her tongue along the grooves. 

Azriel had other ideas though. Leaning down again, his mouth found hers again, and Elain was lost in the soft caress of his lips, the sensual drag of his tongue, the playful nips of his teeth that shot heat directly to her core. She was powerless to his erotic attack, but Gods was she happy to surrender. 

She rocked her hips encouragingly against him, as he continued kissing a trail down her neck, and across top of her chest exposed over her dress. 

When his hands went to the zipper however, Elain froze. 

Azriel was off her in an instant, his eyes wide. “El, what’s wrong?”

She shook her head, trying to pull him back down on top of her. If she could just feel his body pressing against hers she wouldn’t feel quite so exposed. But Azriel caught her wrists. “Hey, talk to me?”

They stared at each other for a long moment. As Azriel finally released her wrists, she whispered, “I get nervous.”

“What about?”

She swallowed. “About revealing myself to you.”

He frowned. “You don’t want me to see your body?”

“My ex boyfriend…he used to say things about my body that weren’t very nice.”

Azriel’s head cocked to one side. “And what about the other guy, the one you were seeing recently?”

Elain blushed. “We never…I always kept my clothes on.”

Azriel eyebrows shot to his hairline. 

“Elain,” he said, moving to kneel beside the bed, so he could be eye level with her, “I want you to be comfortable so we can do things however you want, but you should know that I think you are simply the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. I know your body is going to be a continuation of that beauty, and I will be mesmerised.” 

Elain blushed at the sincerity of his words. 

“Besides,” he continued, a smile tugging on his lips, “it’s been so long since I’ve last seen a woman you could be covered in pus-filled boils and I will still think it’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Elain grabbed the pillow off the bed beside her, and went to clock him over the head with it. Azriel’s reflexes were too fast, he skirted backwards across the wooden floor our of her reach. 

The two of them erupting into laughter. It was so joyous, Elain’s heart sung. 

“Oh I’m sorry,” she groaned, when she had finally recovered, “I know this is your first time in a while, I didn’t mean for it to be awkward.” 

Azriel was back beside her again, those hazel eyes shining down on her, his hand gently cupping her face. “I’m just so happy to be with you, I don’t care what we do.”

“You are truly wonderful, you know that?” She said, her hand caressing his. 

His smile was sad, “I just want you to trust me.”

“I do,” she whispered. 

They stared longingly at each other for a moment, before Azriel broke contact. Switching off the bedroom light, he closed over the bedroom door, so only a sliver of light from the main room spilled in through the cracks. 

It was just enough so they could see each other in a soft glow. 

As Azriel came towards her, pressing his body down against hers, the mood in the room had changed. Gone was the raw intensity of their first touches, their touches ever so tender, as the both revealed their vulnerability in each other’s arms. 

This time, when Azriel went for the zipper on her dress, Elain didn’t freeze. Her body arched into him, allowing him to slowly unveil her soft creamy skin underneath. 

He trailed kisses along her collarbones as he tugged the straps off her shoulders. Elain took a sharp breath as the fabric fell away, and her breasts were revealed. Her rose pink nipples hardening as they were exposed to the cool air…and Azriel’s heated gaze. 

“Gods you’re beautiful,” he breathed.

Elain trembled under his touch, as his fingertips brushed up her sides stopping just under the new swell of her breasts. 

Then he dipped his head, and with his hot mouth that had whipped her up into such a frenzy when it had been on her neck, was closing around her nipple with such gentle reverence that Elain couldn’t help but moan. 

Slowly, Azriel worked his way down her body, removing her dress, kissing and stoking every piece of skin that was exposed to him until Elain was completely bare beneath him. 

And they way he looked at her…

His gaze didn’t make her feel shy, she wasn’t vulnerable in her exposure, no, she was powerful. For he looked at her with awe. 

“There is no one else I want to do this with,” he said, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. 

“Me neither.”

He lifted himself off her, standing so he could free himself from his trousers. The longest length Elain had ever seen sprang free. 

_Gods she wanted him. Needed him._

There must have been a look of surprise on her face, as Azriel chuckled. “I’ll be gentle.”

Elain shook her head. She had never felt desire like this, she no longer wanted to hide from him, she wanted, needed, him to watch her. To make her feel powerful. Womanly. “Lie down.” 

Azriel raised a questioning eyebrow, but obeyed. Lying down on his back he stretched his massive body out on his bed. His erection standing straight up, throbbing slightly, ready for her. 

Elain straddled him, his hands came to her hips to steady her. They were both trembling as she positioned herself over him, and with a throaty moan, sunk onto him.

————

Azriel was totally and utterly in awe of Elain.

Her eyes had fluttered closed, her mouth opening as she moved on top of him. Taking what she needed. Her hair framed her small breasts, that Azriel watched bounce. He desperately wanted to suck on them, but didn’t want to move or change position for fear of shattering the perfection of the moment.

His eyes travelled down her soft stomach to the curls of public hair. Taking one hand from her hip, he found her clit, thumbing it gently, eliciting soft moans from Elain. 

_Gods she was so beautiful_. 

She was his girlfriend. 

And it was that thought that sent him over the edge. 

————

Feyre wasn’t nervous as she crossed the street, heading for the address that she had been given.

It was strange, in a way she felt like she already knew Rhys. Their paths had crossed on so many occasions, and since their match on Swipe, they had been messaging constantly. 

So no, it wasn’t nerves that she felt heading into this date, it was excitement. 

Besides, after the whole Tamlin situation, Feyre didn’t want to dive into anything serious. So why not have some easy fun with a sweet, charming guy, who also happened to be sexy as hell? 

He hadn’t told her where they were going tonight, a surprise he said, but he had told her the street to meet him on, and to wear sensible shoes. 

Feyre was more than happy to oblige. Her feet were snug wrapped in a pair of fluffy socks and Chelsea boots. She wore black jeans, and a cute little top, hidden under a black wooly jumper which she may or may not remove, depending on how the evening went. A thick black coat kept the cold later autumn night at bay. 

Her all black ensemble could have been a sign of mourning, but really she had chosen it to complement Rhys’s “Lord of the Night” aesthetic. 

Feyre was sure that he was just a goth kid all grown up. 

She spotted him then, about halfway down the street. He was leaning against the boarded up window of an abandoned shopfront. Hands in his pockets, he was the definition of cool. 

As she approached, she watched passersby throw longing glances his way. Feyre couldn’t help the little thrill that went through her. _Yeah, he’s hot, and tonight he’s with me_!

He saw her as she neared, taking his hand from his pocket to wave lazily at her. A grin spreading across his face. 

She waved back, before closing the space between them. 

“Hey!” She said, stopping in front of him, her breath coming as warm puff of air against the cold night. 

“Hello,” he greeted her, going in to kiss her on both cheeks, “How are you?”

Feyre flushed, she just hoped she could blame her red face on the cold air. “Good, how are you doing?”

He smiled, “Ready to have some fun?” He asked, offering her his arm. 

“Definitely! Where are we going?”

He winked at her, “Follow me.”

Feyre was expecting him to lead her back across the street to one of the many bars or restaurants on this strip, but instead Rhys wheeled her around to face the abandoned storefront. 

With a knock on the door, a letterbox sized panel slid back, and a pair of golden eyes peered out. Rhys stepped forward, words whispered back and forth. A moment later, the door was opened and they were ushered into the building. 

Feyre had to blink to take in her surrounds. An abandoned shop it was not, but rather a speakeasy style bar hidden behind the facade of non-existence. The place was opulent, decorated with dark furnishings, and lit by by an enormous crystal chandelier hanging in the middle of the room.

“Holy shit,” Feyre whispered. 

Rhys chuckled but didn’t move towards the bar, or lead them to one of the intimate booths. No, instead, he ushered Feyre through the space and to a staircase at the back of the room. 

The slow rhythmic thumping from the floor below made Feyre cautious as she followed Rhys down the stairs, but as she reached the bottom, and the long room came into view she couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her. 

Rhys glanced back, as if surprised. 

“I’ve always wanted to try this,” she said. 

“I thought it might be a good way to get rid of some pent up frustration.” 

Feyre laughed again, “I think that’s an excellent idea.” 

————

Rhys couldn’t take his eyes off Feyre. Not when she radiated so much joy.

They had spent the last few hours throwing axes at the wall, laughing, drinking, getting to know each other. 

The night had gone even better than he ever could have imagined. 

“What?” She asked him, as she turned having pulled her axes out from where they had embedded in the target. 

“You’re very beautiful, you know that?”

She rolled her eyes at him. “Only because you’ve told me three times already this evening.” 

“It’s because it’s true.”

“It’s because you’re drunk.”

“That is also true.” 

She smiled, as she set the axes down on the little table that held their drinks, the one he was leaning against. “Your turn.” 

He made no attempt to pick up the blades, instead catching her around the waist and pulling her against him. 

They had been sharing touches all night. Casual brushes at first had become lingering as they tested how the contact felt, how it would be received. This was the first bold move he had made. Bolstered by the alcohol. To his great delight, Feyre didn’t move away. Instead her hands came up to rest on his shoulders. 

“Are you having fun?” He asked. 

She smiled, those stormy grey eyes of hers shining bright. “This is the most fun I have had in a very long time.” 

“Good.”

They stared at each other for a moment, the smile on both their faces slowly fading. Tentatively, he moved one hand from her waist to cup her face. As his thumb ran over her cheekbone, Feyre’s eyes fluttered shut, her dark lashes fanning across her cheeks. 

_Yes, she really was beautiful_. 

And then he was lowering his head. His own lashes fluttering closed, as he pressed a kiss to her lips. 

There was a moment’s pause, but then Feyre kissed him back. Her hands tightening on his shoulders holding him to her, as her tongue swept inside his mouth.

Rhys had to suppress a groan. 

It was electric, the spark that ran through him. 

This was what he wanted.

What he craved. 

The reason, he was sure, that the universe had put them in each other’s paths. 

They were meant to be together. 

“I know I’m just a bit of fun to you,” he whispered, finally pulling back from the kiss, “but I don’t just want to be your rebound Feyre.”

————

“Hey sweetheart,” a sleepy voice purred in Nesta’s ear. 

“Did I wake you?”

“No, I was waiting up for your call.”

Guilt twinged Nesta’s stomach. It was almost midnight and she had only just got home. 

Her usual long day in the office was made even longer, when she was asked by her boss, Amren, to stay late to help work on an urgent issue that had arisen in a case they were litigating. 

She was happy to do it of course, she loved her job, but that had been the issue in her relationship with Thomas. They had both loved their jobs more than they loved each other. With Cassian, she had different priorities. 

She listened to his sleepy voice telling her about his day, and her heart clenched. Gods, how she wished she could be in Illyria with him, curled up against him in that cute cabin of his. Her heart physically ached at the separation. 

She loved him. 

She really did. 

She just needed to be brave enough to tell him. 

“Cass…”

“Yeah?”

“I…” she swallowed. _Do it Nes, she urged herself, do it, tell him!_ “I…I hope you sleep well, okay?”

“You too, sweetheart.” 

_Coward_.


	16. Chapter Fifteen

It was snowing heavily as Cassian crunched his way from the front door of his cabin to his truck. 

Winter had finally arrived in Illyria, and the build up of snow was becoming too much for the municipality to keep on clearing it from all but the main roads. So, this would be Cassian’s final trip into town in order to stock up on some last provisions before he holed himself up in his cabin for three months. 

It was a time of year that Cassian always looked forward to, when the world became quiet, still. 

It was the time of year that he always did his best work. With nothing to distract him, he would sit for hours in front of the roaring fire in his cabin, whittling wood. What he made would be sold at markets in the spring, and finance him for the rest of the year. 

Turning his truck around, he headed down his driveway, and onto the long, winding mountain pass that would take him into town. 

A convoy of logging trucks passed him, heading in the opposite direction. They were clearing out too. Taking their timber back to the cities for processing now that the snow became too deep to work in.

He sighed. 

All those beautiful, ancient forests being felled. An utter tragedy, but one that the locals, with the help of Nesta, were trying to put a stop to. 

_Ah Nesta._

Another sigh. Cassian couldn’t pretend that his excitement at the prospect of being snowed into his cabin for three months, was as much as been in previous years.

Usually he had no issue leavings his brothers for his cabin in the winter months, but this year he had Nesta. The thought of not seeing her until the spring, broke his heart.

_Gods, he was in love with her._

Totally, irrevocably, in love. 

He desperately wanted to tell her. He should have told her over the weekend that she had spent in his cabin. Especially given the distance between them, both in the physical proximity and the time that was going to pass before he would next see her. 

He had been too scared though. _A coward_ , he berated himself. 

But Nesta was flighty, and he had been worried about scaring her off if things got too serious too soon. He just hoped, prayed, that she would stick with him through the winter, for them to be reunited in the spring. 

It was his sweetheart who Cassian was thinking of when the next logging truck came around the corner, faster than it should have. The driver tried to correct, but the truck slid on black ice, the vehicle jack knifing. 

Cassian was powerless to do anything as the trailer ladened down with tones of logs, swung across his side of the road crashing head on with his own truck, sending it through the crash barriers and off the side of the road. 

And as his truck careened over the edge of the mountain, Cassian’s last thought was that he could smell smoke. 


	17. Chapter Sixteen

Someone was screaming. 

The noise was distant, muffled, but Nesta’s ears were ringing. 

Amren appeared suddenly before Nesta, her eyes wide with concern. 

Her mouth was moving but Nesta couldn’t hear the words. 

That was when Nesta realised that the screaming was coming from her. 

She was on the floor in front of her desk, having collapsed in a heap at the words Feyre had said to her.

_There has been an accident._

Her first thought had been for their father, but it would have been strange that news of their father would have come from her youngest sister and not Elain, the only one of them who maintained some semblance of a relationship with the man. 

_It’s Cassian._

Cassian? 

Her Cassian? 

Why would her sister be calling her about Cassian, she didn’t know him?

No, but the guy her sister was dating, who’s bed she had been in when he received the call, he was Cassian’s emergency contact. It was he who the hospital had contacted when Cassian’s body had been wheeled into the emergency room that morning. 

Somehow her sister had connected the dots and realised who Cassian was. 

Who Cassian was to Nesta. 

Is. 

_Oh Nes, I’m so sorry…it’s not looking good_. 

_No._

Her phone had clattered to the floor. 

Her knees giving way.

And that was when Nesta had started screaming. 

Feyre had stayed on the phone, listening to Nesta’s breakdown at the news she had delivered. As Nesta’s scream subsided, and she began hyperventilating, Feyre tried to get her attention. 

But Nesta couldn’t speak to anyone. Her time for processing information had passed. She had gone into shock, unable to do anything but sit in a crumpled heap on the floor. 

Feyre did however manage to catch Amren’s attention. Unable to get an answer from Nesta as to what happened, her boss picked up her phone, and held it to her ear. 

Nesta couldn’t comprehend anything she heard. 

Her heart was pounding out of her chest, she couldn’t breathe.

She couldn’t breath.

_Oh Gods, she couldn’t—_. 

“Breathe!” Amren said, as she put the phone down. “Breathe with me.”

Nesta looked up at Amren, the little woman standing in front of her, silver eyes swirling with concern. 

Amren was so much more than just Nesta’s boss. 

Amren had started out as Nesta’s mentor while she had been at Law School, but when she graduated and Amren offered her a job at the law firm she was starting, the pair became fast friends. In someways, Nesta saw the older woman as a mother figure. And Gods did she need a mother right now. 

Nesta collapsed against her, with a big sob. 

She wasn’t crying. No tears ran down her face. Instead the sob was one of anguish. 

_It wasn’t true. It couldn’t be true._

_Her Cassian was safe and healthy in his cabin in the mountains._

_He had to be._

_This was all some cruel joke._

Amren’s hands rubbed circles on Nesta’s back. “ _Inhala. Exhala,”_ she soothed. 

Nesta tried to catch her breath, to slow her breathing, but the crushing feeling in her chest was too much.

She felt like she was underwater. Everything was moving strangely, the sounds distorted. Amren was saying something to her, but it took all of Nesta’s concentration to understand it. 

“…they’re going to come and get you, and you’re going to drive up to Illyria together, okay?”

Amren pulled back to look at her, to see if she heard her. 

Nesta managed a feeble nod. 

It still took a number of tries before Nesta was able to get to her feet. Amren helped her gather her belongings and slip on her coat. 

As they made their way downstairs to wait in the lobby, Nesta was grateful that it was a Saturday, the usually busy office was now mostly empty. Few eyes stared questioningly as she passed. 

Amren kept a supporting hand on her as they sat waiting on whoever was coming for her. The guy Feyre was dating, she presumed. 

It wasn’t long before a black SUV with tinted windows came to a stop outside the office building. 

Giving Amren a final hug, Nesta, on shaky legs headed for the car. 

As she slid into the back seat beside her sister, she dimly registered that the driver was this season’s star signing for the Velaris Black Wings. The guy in the passenger seat was clearly the guy Feyre was dating, and the reason she was there at all. He looked as terrible as Nesta felt. His face drawn, wide eyes looking everywhere and focusing on nothing. 

There was a mumble of greeting between them, before a deep silence slid over them all. Wordlessly Feyre took Nesta’s hand in her own, squeezing tightly, as the hockey player, Azriel, rejoined the traffic heading North. 

That silence remained, suffocating them, for the whole long, torturous drive north. Punctured only, by two phone calls which Rhys received. Both from the hospital, the only number he was answering. 

The first call provided more detail as to what happened. The truck driver, who’s trailer slipping on the ice had caused the crash, had been the one to call for the air ambulance. Cassian had been airlifted to the regional hospital a few towns away from his cabin. He was being examined, and they would call soon with an update. 

The second call brought with it bad news. Cassian was to be transferred to the main hospital in Illyria, something that was required because the small regional hospital didn’t have the capacity or the skill to treat his injuries. 

Feyre had only squeezed Nesta’s hand harder as Rhys had choked out what the doctor had told him. 

The one small mercy, if anything good could come from the situation, was that they would reach the main Illyrian hospital far sooner than they would have the regional one, that lay even further north. 

Nesta didn’t cry at the news. 

She was too numb for that. 

Too disbelieving. 

For five hours she sat in the back of Azriel’s car. Unmoving, for fear if she did, the world would shatter. 

_This isn’t real._

For the whole arduous drive all Nesta wanted to do was to reach the hospital. 

To see her Cassian.

She knew that if she could just get to him, if she could just see that brilliant smile of his, those fierce hazel eyes, that everything would be alright. 

He would wrap her in his arms, and pull her tightly against his chest so that she could hear his beating heart, the thing she loved more than anything else about him because it kept him alive and with her, he would tell her that it was all going to be okay. 

And she would believe him. 

Because she loved him. 

And that was enough. 

It was supposed to be enough. 

But as the car slowed, finally arriving at the hospital, Nesta found that she was frozen. 

Paralysed with fear of what lay ahead. 

There was no more pretending. No more denial. 

What she was about to face, whatever that great unknown was, it was real. 

And it was going to be painful. 

As they climbed out of the car, the urgency to get here suddenly drained from them all. None of them were racing to reach their final destination now. 

Without saying anything, Azriel took her gently by the arm. She was grateful for his steady strength leading her towards the hospital building. 

It was the only thing stopping her from bolting she was sure. From pretending, for just a little while longer ,that Cassian was safe and happy in his cabin a few further hours away. That this all wasn’t a dream. 

As they crossed the threshold into the hospital building the familiar smell brought all of the terrible memories flooding back. From the way her sister’s hand tightened on Rhysand’s arm, she knew Feyre was remembering them to. 

All the hours they spent sitting in hospital rooms.

Watching their mother die. 

Rhys stepped up to the welcome desk and introduced himself. The woman behind the counter typed something into her computer. After a few clicks, she was directing them towards the intensive care unit. 

The brightly coloured corridors they had to navigate were so at odds with the dark void of despair that Nesta felt had swallowed her. Still, Azriel clung to her, holding her steady. 

Finally they arrived in intensive care. 

A kind nurse behind the desk ushered them into a private family room, with a promise that the doctor would come and speak to them soon.

That wait, of only an hour or so, was longer than the drive to the hospital. 

Nesta and Azriel sat beside each other, on a pastel couch, in the overly cheerful room. 

Rhysand paced back and forth, occasionally swearing under his breath about how long they were waiting. 

Feyre left at one point, to find food and water for everyone. Not that anyone felt like eating, but given they had driven for five hours without stopping once for a bathroom, dehydration was a real concern. 

It was not long after Feyre returned, when the doctor appeared grim faced. 

“Which one of you is the patient’s next of kin?”

“I am,” Rhys said, his voice cracking slightly, “but you can say whatever needs to be said, in front of them all.”

The doctor nodded. 

He began talking then, using language that was clear to the medical profession, but did not help them understand the situation. Rhysand, thankfully, jumped in at many points asking questions for clarification. 

Both of Cassian’s legs had been crushed in the crash, but the airbag had saved his life. At least in that moment. 

When he arrived in hospital he was placed on life support, but after undergoing surgery to stop some internal bleeding, he was breathing on his own. He had been placed in a medicated coma, as he had swelling on the brain that had to be closely monitored. 

The doctor’s verdict, Cassian was on the precipice. It could go either way. 

“Can we see him,” Nesta finally croaked. 

“Yes, but only two people are allowed in the room at a time.” 

She nodded, intending for Rhysand and Azriel to go first, but Azriel told her he would go after Rhys. It was more important that she be with him, he said. 

Her whole body shook as she followed the doctor down the corridor, and when he finally stopped, leading them into the small room, Nesta felt sure she was going to start screaming again. For there, on the bed, covered in tubes and wires, and bandages was her beautiful Cassian. 

_Oh Gods_. 

Nesta couldn’t stop herself from rushing to his side. The doctor was still talking to Rhysand, but she heard none of it. Not as her eyes ran over Cassian, as if making a mental note of every injury on his body. 

Both of his legs were in plaster, she couldn’t see his body between the tubes and the bedsheets, but his face was bloody and raw where it wasn’t bandaged. 

Gently she swept his loose hair back from his face. 

“Oh Cass…” she whispered. 

_Please come back to me._

_I love you. I love you. I love you_.

“I love you.”

————

Rhys watched from a distance as Nesta hovered over Cassian. 

It had been hours of silent shock, but now the tears had started. They ran down her face, dripping onto Cassian’s own, as she stroked his hair. The only part of him that didn’t have a tube or a wire or a bandage stuck to it. 

_Oh Gods_. 

Rhys had to wipe his own face at the sight of it. 

It reminded him too much of another day, another time when he had rushed to this hospital, to this very intensive care unit.

Only on that day, when the doctor had come to him in the family room, the news he delivered was that they were already dead.

His mother and sister.

Killed by a drunk driver. 

He wouldn’t lose his friend this way.

He couldn’t. 

He wasn’t sure how long he stood there. Watching Cassian and Nesta, but instead seeing his own mother and sister, their bodies laid out before their funeral. 

At some point however, he remembered that Azriel was waiting for his turn to see Cassian. 

Mumbling something to Nesta that was neither coherent, nor heard, he left the room and headed back down the corridor. 

Both Az and Feyre sprang to their feet as he entered the room, but Rhys just stood there. There was nothing he could do. He felt totally useless. Empty. 

“End of the corridor, to the left. His name is on the door,” he mumbled to Azriel, who with a nod, slipped from the room.

“How is Cassian?” Feyre asked, coming up to him and wrapping her arms around his waist. Rhys couldn’t help the way he sank into her. His arms coming around her to hold her tight, his head resting on top of hers. He closed his eyes to ward off the tears. He didn’t want to cry. 

“I…I….I….” His voice cracked, nothing coming out. 

“Hey, shhhh, it’s okay,” Feyre said, rubbing his back. 

_Gods he was so glad she was here_. 

If he had been left alone in this room his emptiness would have turned to rage and he’d have smashed the pretty room to pieces. 

“I hate hospitals,” he said after a moment. 

“Me too.” 

“The last time I was here…” he swallowed, “They told me my mother and sister had been killed.” 

There was no stopping the tears that were flowing now. 

“Oh Rhys, I’m so sorry.”

They just held onto each other, tears streaming down both their faces. 

“My mother is dead too,” she whispered after sometime. 

“How?” He asked, his voice still trembling. 

“Cancer.”

He closed his eyes. Cruel. So very cruel this world. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too.” 

“Feyre?”

“Hummm?”

“Thank you for coming today.”

“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

————

Azriel watched through the window for a moment, as Nesta stood beside Cassian. She held his hand, the one that didn’t have needles and tubes sticking out of it, with one hand, the other gently smoothed his hair back. Tears running in a steady stream down her face. 

It was so clear that she loved him. 

For that, Azriel was grateful. There was no doubt in his mind that his brother felt exactly the same way about her, and if there was one thing tethering Cassian to life, it was Nesta. 

He would come back for her. 

_He had to_. 

Cassian was not going to be cheated out of a long and happy life with her. 

No, his friend was too stubborn. 

And as sure as Azriel was about that, every minute that passed, looking at his friend in that hospital bed, it was torture. 

Wiping the tears from his eyes, he stepped into the room, drifting towards Nesta’s side; her vigil at Cassian’s bedside. 

“Are you okay?” He asked. 

_Stupid question_. 

There was a long pause, the only sound the beeping of the various machines monitoring Cassian’s condition. 

“I’m so scared,” she whispered. 

Azriel didn’t say anything, he just put his arm around Nesta, holding her as she cried. It was the least he could do for his friend, to look after his girl. 

They stood like that, staring at Cassian, for what could have been hours, until finally Nesta tore her eyes from him, to look up at Azriel, those grey eyes full of devastation. 

“I never got to tell him I love him,” She whispered. 

“He knows,” he whispered back. 

But Azriel couldn’t help but think of Elain. He wondered if she knew. 

————

“Hello Elain.”

“Hello, Doctor Beddor,” Elain said, smiling up at her doctor who had just entered the examination room. 

“How are you today?”

“Good thank you,” she said settling into her seat and logging into her computer, “right let’s take a look at your file. How do you think you’re doing?”

“Well, I hope. I certainly feel like I’ve gained weight sine my last check up.”

“I don’t normally say this to patients, but you are looking very healthy.”

Elain beamed at her doctor, she smiled kindly at her, before turning her attention back to the screen. 

“Things are certainly looking good, your weight is up significantly, and you’re now within a healthy range…”

There was a pause, her doctor frowned. 

“There seems to be an anomaly with your bloods though, let me take a closer look.”

Elain watched as her doctor clicked a few things on the screen. Surely there was nothing seriously wrong, she felt great, the best she’d felt in years. Physically and mentally. 

The doctor’s eyebrows which had been flattened, suddenly shot to her hairline in surprise. 

Her eye’s were sparkling as she turned back to look at her. “Elain, this might come as some surprise to you, as it certainly has to me…”

“What?”

“You’re pregnant.”


	18. Chapter Seventeen

They stood huddled together, clutching each other, as they peered in that little window to Cassian’s room.

Not that they could see anything.

Not when doctors and nurses surrounded the bed prodding at Cassian, pulling at tubes, and poking him with needles.

Machines beeped wildly.

Rhys thought that was a bad sign, but he prayed it was otherwise.

He took some comfort in how the doctors appeared to be working purposefully, without panic, but maybe their job had simply hardened them to death. It was an everyday occurrence for them. Not something that would crush their entire life.

His hand tightened on Nesta’s. She only squeezed back harder, tucking her head against Azriel’s chest as he held an arm around her, as if she couldn’t bare to watch.

Of all of them, since Cassian’s accident four days ago, she hadn’t left the hospital once. Only ever leaving his bedside to use the bathroom, or occasionally to eat.

Feyre had left to go back to Velaris a couple of days ago, but only after she had managed to convince Nesta to change out of the clothes she had been wearing when they got to the hospital, and into the leggings and sweatshirt that she had bought from her. Both were branded with the Illyria Steppes hockey team logo, but shopping options were limited in this part of town.

Rhys and Az had rented a room in a nearby hotel which they could use for a short reprieve.

It was the most grim place that Rhys had ever been, and he thought that as a man presently standing in an ICU ward.

They had taken turns, Rhys sleeping during the day, so he could hold a vigil at night over Cassian while Nesta dozed fitfully in the chair beside his bed, Azriel sleeping at night so he could be with Nesta during the day.

The pair seemed to have forged a bond at Cassian’s beside. Azriel was the only person who had managed to convince her to do anything other than pick at food. It was a long road ahead, he had said, whatever the outcome was going to be she needed to have the energy to face it.

Words they all needed to live by.

Suddenly, there was silence.

The machines had stopped beeping.

The doctors and nurses stopped whatever they were doing, stepping back.

Slowly, one by one, they began filing out of Cassian’s room.

Rhys watched them leave. He wanted to scream at them.

_What is going on?_

_Is he okay?_

_Tell me!_

But he was too numb to say any of that.

So instead he just stood there.

The last doctor paused on his way out, “You can go in now.”

 _Just what were they walking into_.

If he was dead they would have told them, right?

_Right?_

His shaky legs carried him forward. Rhys felt as if he was watching himself from above as he pushed open the door into the room. Nesta and Azriel right behind him.

Cassian was laid out on the bed, still bandaged and bloody, but many of the machines had been taken away. The top of his bare chest visible above the sheets that had been pulled up high at tucked under his arms.

The oxygen mask he wore was surely a good sign?

They didn’t give oxygen to the dead.

Nesta moved forward, retaking her place at Cassian’s side, but as she reached down and touched his hand, Rhys could have let out a scream.

For one of those hazel eyes cracked open.

Nesta’s let out a sob, “Oh Gods.”

Tears were running down Rhys’s face, as he rushed to the other side of the bed, “Cass?”

With a deep sigh that seemed to take his every effort, Cassian slowly brought his hand up, the one that wasn’t intertwined with Nesta’s, to remove his oxygen mask.

“What?…Were you guys worried about me or something?” He drawled.

The laughter that rushed through the room was snotty, but full of relief.

Cassian had come back to them.

————

Later, when Rhys and Azriel left to go back to their hotel to shower and sleep, Nesta perched herself on the edge of Cassian’s bed. She stroked his hair as he drifted in and out of sleep.

Gods she was so grateful to have him back. The last few days had been nothing short of a torturous hell for her.

All of those _what ifs_. They had terrified her. How cruel the world would have been to allow her to meet the greatest love of her life, the man who those before paled in comparison to, only to have him snatched away before his time.

“I was so scared you were going to die,” she whispered, watching his chest rise and fall at a steady rate.

It sounded cliché, but the past few days had made her realise just how fragile life is, how short.

And so, she had decided that she was going to live the life what she wanted, not the one she thought she had to live. She had left Cassian’s side once since he had woken, leaving him in the watchful care of Rhys and Azriel while she stepped out to make a phone call. To put her plan in motion.

It was scary.

But so was everything in life worth doing.

“I’m so glad that you came back to us…to me.”

She only had one life, one chance to live it, and she wasn’t going to waste a single moment more.

“I love you Cass.”

His chest stilled then.

Nesta leapt off the bed, to go and find a doctor, but a big brown hand caught her wrist. She turned to see those fierce hazel eyes staring up at her.

Coming back to his side, she lifted the oxygen mask off his face so he could speak.

“I love you too,” he croaked.

*************************************************

It was the next day when Azriel returned to Velaris. He was both physically and mentally, exhausted, but Cassian was on the road to recovery and that was all that mattered.

Those days, spent at his brother’s bedside had been some of the toughest that he had ever faced. He just wanted to get into bed, curl up with his girl and sleep for hours. Which was why he had headed straight for her house and not his own, empty, one.

“How is your friend?” Elain asked by way of greeting, as she wrapped her arms around his waist pulling him close.

Azriel sunk into her, his arms enveloping her, his head dropping to the top of her’s so he could breath in that floral shampoo that she used that was quickly becoming the smell of home. “The doctors say that it’s going to be a slow recovery, but he’s alive and really that’s all that matters.”

“Of course.” She said, nodding against his chest. “How’s Nesta?”

It was funny, of all the things that had happened over the past week, the last one that Azriel had been expecting was the discovery that he, Rhys and Cassian had been dating three sisters.

But then, they bore such a strong family resemblance, Azriel wasn’t sure how he hadn’t spotted it immediately. He decided to blame it on shock. He certainly hadn’t been in his right mind when he had first met Feyre and Nesta.

“Your sister is amazing, they both are, but the way Nesta has devoted herself to Cass,” he shook his head, “I knew when I saw that, that Cassian had something to live for. She’s going to make his recovery easier.”

“She really loves him, huh?”

“Almost as much as he loves her.”

He knew Elain was smiling when she said, “I can’t wait to meet him.”

“Anyway, how have you been?” He asked.

She went stiff in his arms then, pulling out of the hug to look up at him. He knew there was something wrong. “What is it?”

“I need to talk to you about something, but you’ve had so much on your plate over the last few days I didn’t want to burden you.”

He frowned at her. Burden him, Gods, she wasn’t a burden, she was his girlfriend. He cursed himself. He had been so caught up with Cassian that he hadn’t been paying enough attention to her. Their usual hours long phone calls of an evening, had been cut to a ten minute catch up before he passed out in the hotel each night.

“And,” she continued, “it can wait a while longer if you’re too tired or you need a break after everything that you’ve been through?”

“No, tell me now.”

She lead him through to her living room, sitting them both on the couch.

He watched her for a moment as she played with the hem on her dress, as if she was trying to put together the words that she wanted to say to him.

She was nervous.

Clearly this was important.

But whatever Azriel thought she was going to say. It was not this.

“I’m pregnant.”

Azriel froze.

The blood suddenly pounding in his ears, the world started swimming around him.

And then he was on his feet.

Stumbling like a drunk man, banging into this as he rushed to the front door.

Throwing it open, he took off at a run.

————

Elain cried for an hour after Azriel left.

Of all the reactions she expected, shock, excitement, tears, anger, she had never thought that he would simply run away.

Yes her being pregnant came as a surprise, no more than to her, but she thought that he would have at least acknowledged the possibility that he might be the father.

 _Oh Gods_ , she didn’t even get as far as to tell him that.

Maybe he thought she was nothing more than another hockey groupie who had tricked him to try and get at his money.

Or maybe he thought she was a total slut for sleeping with more than one man so that she didn’t know who the father was.

Elain rubbed her stomach.

She wasn’t showing yet, but she had already grown so attached to the little life growing inside her.

All she had ever wanted to do was to become a mother, to have a family, and while very unexpected, the miracle inside her was so very loved.

“Don’t worry Bub, you haven’t been abandoned,” she whispered, even though Elain herself was feeling very abandoned.

Statistically the baby probably wasn’t even Azriel’s anyway. Her and Lucien had...many more times. But it had been so many years since she had a cycle she had no idea when she had ovulated. 

Wiping her tears, she found her phone and pressed dial.

“Elain?”

“Hey,” she said with a sniff.

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh Lucien…”

“He didn’t react well?”

Another sniff. “No.”

“Do you want me to come over?”

“Please.”


	19. Chapter Eighteen

“Statistically speaking, the baby is more likely to be yours, I mean we’ve…” she gestured with her hand.

“Had sex?” Lucien supplied.

“Yes! Many more times than Azriel and i.”

Elain was pacing around her living room again. Lucien, sitting in his preferred armchair, was watching her. 

“It only has to happen once though.” He said. “Besides, we were always careful.”

“So were Azriel and I.”

She heard him release a deep breath, “So…you really think the baby is mine?”

“Yes, that would make more sense…statistically.”

“Right…but do you want the baby to be mine?”

The question froze Elain in her tracks, she turned to look at him.

“Of course, you’re the most caring, supportive, man I have ever met, any baby would be lucky to have you.” She paused. “Do you…do you not want the baby to be yours?”

The question hadn’t occurred to Elain until this very moment.

Lucien had been the first person she had called when she left the doctors office after finding out that she was pregnant. Perhaps her first call should have been to Azriel, the man she was in a relationship with, or to her sisters, her family, but they were all in Illyria gathered around the bed of a man who was possibly dying. How cruel would it have been to call them, when they were so far away, to tell them of the miracle gift of life she had been given when someone else’s life was at risk of being snatch away.

Lucien had been incredible. He had taken the news of her pregnancy well, promising to support her through whatever it was she wanted to do. And if the baby was his, he said, he would be as involved or uninvolved as she wanted.

The possibility of him being the father changed nothing between them. Even if Azriel wasn’t around, they were never going to get together. As, at their core, they were never really suited to each other. But, Lucien had promised, no matter what he was always going to be in her life. At the very least as a friend, even if he was not the father of her baby. And if he was, well then, they would be coparents.

Since that first phone call to him, they had spent many long nights talking through her the possibilities, what a pregnancy and an eventual baby would mean for her. Lucien had provided nothing but a supportive ear…and occasional shoulder to cry on.

But Elain had never stopped to consider what it would mean for Lucien, for his life. To have a baby with a women he wasn’t in a relationship with.

Was this something he even wanted?

Elain cringed.

_Gods, how selfish was she?_

Seeing her panicked expression, Lucien got up from the chair, coming to stand in front of her, taking her hands gently in his own.

“I suppose this isn’t exactly how I imagined having my first child would be, but Elain, it would be the greatest honour in the world to be the father to your child.”

“Oh Lucien,” she said pulling him into a tight hug. Her hands wrapping around his waist as she rest her head on his chest. His arms embraced her, holding her tight against him. “You’re so wonderful.”

“I meant what I said Elain, I’m here for you, no matter what happens.”

“Is it truly terrible of me,” she asked, her voice mumbled against his chest, “to wish the baby is yours?”

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do.”

He pulled back slightly to look at her. “Elain, it’s okay to admit that you want Azriel to be the father, that it would be easier if Azriel was the father.”

“No—.”

“It would…because you love him.”

Love him?

Elain’s limbs went cold at the realisation.

_Oh Gods._

_She did love him._

The tears that sprang stung to her eyes stung. She blinked hard, trying to keep them in her eyes, but they spilled over and down her cheeks.

“Hey,” Lucien’s arms wrapped back around her tightly, “sssshhhhhh, it’s okay, don’t cry.”

“I love him,” she gulped.

The sob that wracked her at that admission came as a surprise. Elain’s whole body shook, her knees giving out. Lucien’s grasp of her the only thing keeping her upright. She clung onto him tightly.

She supposed she had tried to bury it, to keep her real feelings locked up until she had spoken to Azriel, but _Gods_ she loved that man. And in the days since she had found out about her pregnancy, a fantasy had taken root in her head, one about her and Azriel, two people who had wished for a family of their own, coming together to have a baby. Surprise and all that it was, it would have been perfect.

And Lucien knew.

Wonderful, kind, supportive Lucien knew that no matter how much she didn’t him, he wasn’t what she really wished for.

But children didn’t need parents who were in love with each other, even parents who lived together, all they needed were parents who were there for them, and Azriel had left when she needed him.

She couldn’t rely on him.

So neither could the baby.

She sobbed for the shattered illusion. For the perfect story she had painted in her head.

“But he abandoned me Lucien,” she choked, before another sob claimed her.

Lucien’s head came to rest on the top of her own, his hands rubbing soothing circles in her back, holding her as she cried.

Eventually, Elain’s tears subsided.

“Oh Gods, I’m sorry,” she snorted as she stepped back to look at him. His shirt was wet, with dark smudges of mascara staining where she had cried against him.

“Don’t be,” he said with a kind smile. He rubbed his thumbs under her eyes, wiping away the tears.

Elain sighed. She wished she loved Lucien, _that_ would make things easier. She could forget all about Azriel, and they could have a happy life together.

But she didn’t love him, at least not like that, she loved Azriel.

“Why did he leave?” She asked him.

“I wish I could tell you.”

“No brilliant insights into the male mind?”

He chuckled, “I’m afraid not…but Elain, I…I don’t think you should give up hope on the guy just yet.”

“What do you mean?”

“The guy has had a pretty intense week, his best friend nearly died, his head must have been all over the place, perhaps he can be forgiven for reacting badly.”

She scoffed. “Reacting badly is one thing, running away when your girlfriend tells you she’s pregnant is quite another.”

“Well, indeed…but I wonder if the poor guy has gone into shock.”

“So you think I should have waited to tell him?”

“Poor guy my ass.”

Lucien laughed out right then. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you swear before.”

Elain scoffed, “Ass is hardly a swear.”

“Oh, it is for Elain Archeron!”

“You’ll have to forgive me if I don’t feel like being polite right at this moment.”

Lucien smiled again, “I’m not saying you have to be, just give the guy some time to get his head straight, I’m sure he’ll come back to you.”

“And if he doesn’t?”

“Then I will personally haul him out of whatever hole he is hiding in and make sure he deals with the consequences of his actions.”

“You really think the baby is his, don’t you?”

Lucien shrugged, “It seems like a nice way to end the story.”

 _It would be_.

“I told him I couldn’t have children,” she blurted.

“No wonder the guy has freaked out…he’s probably worried it’s an immaculate conception.”

Elain giggled then, playfully slapping his arm.

“I’m telling you, no one man in his right mind wants to get entangled with a woman the Gods have chosen to bare their child.”

“Well, as much of an honour as that would be I don’t need to add yet another possible father to my baby’s already complicated paternity situation.”

Lucien laughed, “No, that might not be a good idea.”

She sighed, “I’m scared he thinks I’ve made this whole thing up to get his money or something, and that’s why he ran.”

“I doubt that somehow.”

“You don’t know, he get’s anxious around fans, and he always has women throwing themselves at him…he could think anything!”

Lucien looked unconvinced.

They lapsed back into silence then. Elain resumed her pacing, slower this time, as she mulled over this new thought. Lucien retook his seat in the armchair, staring into space as she passed through his field of vision.

Their quiet was only punctured, sometime later, by a sharp knock at the door.

Elain spun to look at Lucien, “Who—?”

“Do you want me to—?” They spoke over each other.

“No, I’ll get it,” she said, bustling out of the living room and out into the hallway. Rushing down the narrow space, her heart was beating wildly.

Flinging open the door, her heart really leapt from her chest.

For there, on her doorstep, on the dark winter’s evening, stood Azriel.

His face was pale, his eyes big. He didn’t even say anything as he pushed passed her, down the hallway and into the living room.

Closing the door, Elain hurried closely behind him. “Where have you been?” She asked, crossing the threshold into her living room. Meeting Lucien’s eye, with an expression she hoped implored that she had no idea what was going on.

Azriel whirled to face her, his eyes wild. Like a forest creature trapped in the headlights of an oncoming truck.

An unfortunate reference, a voice in her head squeaked, given everything that had happened recently.

“I went to go see my mom,” he said.

_Oh._

“I needed to get her…” His voice faded away.

There was a moments pause, and then he was dropping to one knee in front of her, pulling a small velvet box from his jacket pocket.

“Elain, will you marry me?”

————

Azriel’s ears were still ringing. They had been for hours. His vision was blurry, his head spinning.

But there was one person who he could see clearly through the fog, and she was staring down at him, at where he knelt on her carpet, with his mother’s engagement ring extended in front of him, with utter shock on her face.

“I should go,” an unfamiliar male voice, said from behind him, but Azriel didn’t register it.

“No, stay…please,” Elain answered.

_Whatever that was about?_

All Azriel cared about in this moment was that he was down on one knee in front of the girl that he loved, and she was yet to give him an answer to the most important question he had ever asked.

Azriel reviewed the last few moments in an attempt to understand the shock that was plastered across his beloved’s face.

He had just sort of thrust the ring at her, hadn’t he?

He had been planning the speech that he would give her on the frantic drive back her, but the sight of her had emptied it from his head.

And women liked speeches, didn’t they? They liked to hear poetry spouted about their beauty and wonder, for that was why she hadn’t answered him.

Clearing his throat, Azriel tried to remember, through the panic that had settled over him, the words that he had wanted to say to her.

“Elain.” _A good start_. “You are the sweetest, kindest, most beautiful soul, that I have ever been lucky enough to meet. I cannot put into words how happy, how context, how calm you make me. Even the thought of you has my chest bursting with joy.”

Her big brown eyes were gazing down at him, good, at least he had her attention.

He carried on. “I want to spend all my time with you, in your presence. Because when I’m away from you, I feel like I’m missing a part of me, the very best part. All that is good. I spend all my days on the road waiting for your call, and even when we talk for hours it is never enough. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I hope, Gods how I hope, that you feel the same. Elain, will you marry me?”

“Oh Az.” Elain’s face crumbled. “I can’t marry you.”

“No?”

_No._

Ice slicked through Azriel.

He was about to lose the woman that he loved. He didn’t know what to do to stop it from happening. 

His breathing was coming in fast pants. His vision blueing even further.

 _Oh Gods_.

He couldn’t breathe.

And then she was there, in front of him, anchoring him, easing him back off the ledge. Her thumbs gently stroked his face.

She shouldn’t be the one comforting him. He needed to be the one comforting her, protecting her.

And her baby.

 _Their_ baby.

He hoped.

 _Gods_ how he hoped the baby was his.

He would give anything to be a father, to start a family. He wanted to take Elain as his wife and spend the rest of his days waking up with her beside him every morning, and coming home to her every evening.

But she didn’t want that, did she?

“You don’t want to marry me?” He asked, suddenly becoming aware of where he was, still kneeling in the middle of her living room, his mother’s ring clutched in his hands.

“Azriel,” she whispered, still stroking his face, as if touching him was keeping her centred too. “I don’t need you to marry me, I just need you to be there for me.”

_Okay._

_Okay. He could do that he could be there for her. Anything, so long as it wasn’t the end_.

“I love you,” he exclaimed, hoping that somehow it would salvage things between them, at whatever he did wrong for her not to want to marry him.

“I love you too,” she whispered, her fingers still stroking his face.

His crushed heart swelled at the words.

“And I’ll love this baby that you’re having…if you want to have it.”

“Oh Az…” She whispered, she was crying now. Big hot tears rolling down her face. He wanted to take her in his arms, to hold her against him, to kiss her until everything was right between them.

But he was lost, he didn’t know how she felt, what she wanted from him. She told him that she loved him moments after rejecting his proposal.

“What?” He choked instead, tears coming to his own eyes as he pulled from Elain’s grasp. Closing his mother’s ring box, he slipped it inside his jacket as he stood. “Elain, please talk to me?”

“I was so mad at you,” she sniffed, “You just left me.”

And then Azriel realised what it had been like for her.

She had known, he had figured, that she was pregnant when he was in Illyria, and she, the marvellous, incredible woman that she was, had kept it to herself so not as to burden him while he kept vigil at Cassian’s beside.

When she finally told him, it had been a secret that she had been keeping for days, longer even, and his reaction, not to share with her any of the thoughts that had raced through his head, of the fantasy that had appeared ready-made; him and her, their baby, their life together…

Instead, he had stumbled out of her house like a drunk man, without saying a single word, and failed to return for hours.

What had she thought? That he had just left her? Abandoned her even?

She didn’t know that he had driven like a mad-man to his mother’s estate miles north of Illyria.

That he had practically beaten down his mother’s door to get her engagement ring so he could get back to propose.

In those hours that Azriel had planned their future together, she had been worrying if the father of her child had just run out on his responsibilities? As if it wasn’t the greatest news he had ever heard.

Regret flooded Azriel.

He went to her then, gathering her in his arms the way he wanted, the way he needed to.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. His forehead coming down to rest on hers, so he could stare into those big deer like eyes of hers.

“Gods Elain I don’t even know what I was thinking…You told me you were pregnant and all I could focus on was getting my mother’s ring so I could propose.”

She sniffed.

“I never thought for one second that you wouldn’t know that I would be overjoyed at the thought of being a father,” he kissed her forehead, “You know that having a family of my own is something that I have longed for. I am so, so sorry, that I let you think for even a moment that I wouldn’t want this, that I wouldn’t be here for you…and our baby.”

 _Our baby_.

Gods that sounded good.

“Will you forgive me?…or do you want to shout at me? Because I fully deserve it.”

She laughed through her tears. “No, I don’t want to shout at you. I just want you to promise that you will never run off on me like that again.”

“I promise.”

“No matter how hard it gets?”

“Elain, I love you more than I could ever put into words. I promise you, that I will never leave your side ever again.”

She smiled then, and Azriel couldn’t help but pull her close for a kiss.

“Am I the father?” He asked after a moment, breaking the kiss.

“I don’t know.”

He nodded. wiping a tear that had escaped and was rolling down his cheek. “I thought maybe…the other guy.”

“Yes, it might be his.”

“I’ll love it regardless, I love you, I want us to be a family.”

“Really?”

“Truly.”

He got another dazzling smile, as she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him tightly against her. “I love you.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to marry me?” He asked, stroking her hair.

“One day,” she mumbled against his chest, “But for now, let’s take it one life changing decision at at time.”

He smiled. _One day_ , sounded fantastic.

They stood there, embracing each other, for a long moment before Elain mumbled. “I thought you thought I was after your money or something.”

Azriel couldn’t help the spluttered laugh that escaped him. “Oh Gods Elain, no, the thought never even entered my consciousness.”

“I told you,” the voice from behind Azriel interrupted.

Azriel jumped. Turning, he was startled to see a man standing in Elain’s living room, watching them.

He was handsome, with his dark skin, long red hair, and bright eyes.

Azriel could see the attraction. No wonder Elain didn’t end things with him until she was sure about about him.

“Oh er…Az, this is Lucien,” Elain squeaked.

“The other potential father,” the man said dryly.

Azriel laughed again, he felt buoyant.

“Nice to meet you,” he said, crossing the room to shake Lucien’s hand, even if the other man seemed very taken aback by the gesture.

“And you,” Lucien replied, blinking.

Azriel dropped his voice so that Elain couldn’t hear him, “Thanks for taking care of her while I was being an idiot.”

“Of course, Elain is a genuine friend, I’ll always be there for her,” Lucien, hesitated for a moment before continuing, “Thanks for scoring that last minute equaliser against the Adraita Sharks, to keep them out of the playoffs.”

Another laugh. “My pleasure…Who’s your team?”

Lucien smiled, “I come from a mixed background, Dad is a Healers fan, Mom supports the Flames, but I was living down south for years so most of my friends are Beasts fans.”

Azriel whistled, “That is quite the rivalry.”

“I know, I’m thinking of fucking them all and becoming a Velaris fan.”

“You could do worse,” Azriel said wink.

“I know.”

“So…ugh…what happens now?” He asked, turning his attention back to Elain who was watching the interaction with her mouth open.

It took her a moment to register the question. “Oh…em…well we can all go get a blood test. It’s the easiest way to find out.”

“And it won’t hurt the baby?”

Elain shook her head, “No, not at all.”

“Well then, let’s do that.”

*****************************************

It was a few days later, and Nesta was making her way through the warren of corridors that made up Illyria’s main hospital. Cassian had been moved out of ICU and onto a general ward for rest and recovery.

The change meant that Nesta was no longer sleeping at the hospital, something that her spine was incredibly grateful for, but Cassian’s room change also came with its draw backs, for one, she had to follow visiting hours.

There were long hours in the evening, before bed, when she wasn’t allowed to be with her man. It was hard to be without him, they had grown impossibly closer still since his accident, but the time away from the ward meant that she could work on the plans she had already set in motion. Plans she hoped Cassian would be in favour of.

Even in the short few days since his move, the route to his new room had burned itself onto her brain. She smiled at the nurses gathered at the nurse’s station, they already knew her, and waved in response, before heading down the corridor and into Cassian’s room.

She paid no attention to any of the other occupants of the ward, heading straight to the back corner, where Cassian’s bed was set up beside a window.

He glanced up as she pulled open the curtain he kept closed around his bed, providing what little privacy it could.

“Morning sweetheart,” he said with that lazy grin that set the butterflies in Nesta’s stomach fluttering.

“How was your night?” She asked him, leaning in for a kiss.

“Slept like a baby.”

Kiss.

“Good.”

Kiss.

“How was your night?”

“Fine.”

Another kiss.

“Did they give you chocolate mousse for breakfast?” She asked, tasting it on his mouth.

“Fuck yeah the did!” He grinned at her. “You missed out.”

She laughed. “I’m not so sure about that.”

Cassian’s face became suddenly serious, his expression sincere, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

This time when they kissed it was deep, Cassian’s tongue was slow as it moved in her mouth, teasing her.

Heat flooded Nesta. With a soft moan, she broke the kiss. “Stop it.”

Cassian’s eyes were dark, his grin that had reappeared was wolfish. “The curtain’s pulled, no one would be able to see.”

“They’d be able to hear.”

“We can be quiet.”

Nesta shook her head with a wry smile, “You know, for a man with a very broken body you talk a big talk.”

“I have no issue sitting back and letting you do all the work, sweetheart.”

An image flashed across Nesta’s mind. Cassian, stretched out in that hospital bed. Her straddling him, moving up and down so very slowly so not as to make a noise. His hard cock, the outline of which she could see through the thing hospital sheets…

She cut off the train of thought there.

One thing no one ever mentioned about having a loved one come back from the brink of death, it made you very eager to embrace all the good things life had to offer…to make sure you felt alive.

“Stop it, the doctor said no strenuous activity for the next six weeks.”

“For me…” Cassian grumbled, but Nesta choose not to hear him.

Perching herself on the side of his bed, she thought distraction was a better tactic than resistance. “There is actually something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Oh?” Cassian’s hands immediately stilled on her legs, becoming soft and reassuring as they stroked her thigh.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about us, and our future.”

Cassian’s smile now was so warm, “I like the sound of that.”

“I thought you might,” she couldn’t help her own smile at the thought of spending her future with Cassian. Her chest swelled so much she was sure she was going to rip her shirt. “Obviously you won’t be able to go back to your cabin until the snow clears in the spring.”

He nodded solemnly, she knew how much of a disappointment it was for him, to be away from his home for so long, but his body was going to take some time to heal and it wouldn’t be safe for him to be up in the mountains alone.

“And moving you to Velaris would be difficult.”

Another nod. She had looked into the logistics of it, but there were too many risks. For one, his body wasn’t likely to do well with the long drive until he was significantly better meaning Cassian would have to stay longer in hospital. And the fact her her building didn’t have a lift, and stairs are impossible with two broken legs, was problematic.

“So I looked at all the options, and I think the best one, is that we stay in Illyria, close to the hospital, at least until the spring so you can attend all your rehab appointments and get all the support that you need.”

His nod was wary this time. “You said ‘we’ would stay in Illyria.”

“Yes, so I looked into rental options and there are plenty of fine apartments with lifts for your wheelchair at reasonable prices not too far from here. If I sub-lease my apartment in Velaris, I’ll be able to cover the costs no issue.”

“Nes—.”

She slid off the bed, reaching for her handbag. “I brought some brochures from the relators for you to look at, let me know which ones you think might suit and I can arrange a viewing.”

“Nes—.” Cassian’s voice cracked, when she looked up there were tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Cass?” Her heart started pounding in her chest, a sense of dread sliding over her. “What’s wrong?”

“I love you so much,” he croaked.

“I know, I love you too,” she said, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Why are you crying? I thought you’d be happy…I hoped you’d be happy.”

“I just…would you really give up your life in Velaris to be with me in Illyria?”

“Of course,” she soothed.

“Even if I’m broken?”

“Oh Cass…”

“I’m not the guy I was before the accident, I can’t walk, it could be months before I’m able to again. I can already feel my strength slipping away from me.”

Nesta felt the tears spring to her eyes, as she watched him wrestle with the emotion, with the fear that somehow if he wasn’t the physical specimen that he was when they first met that somehow she would love him less.

“Cass, I love you. You!” She took one hand from his face to put it over his heart. His own big hand came up, enveloping hers, keeping it pressed against his chest. “When you were in that ICU bed…” The tears were spilling freely now. “They were some of the scariest days of my life. I love you, I never want to be without you, I don’t care how broken your body is.”

His chuckle was teary.

“I hope that we get to spend so long together, that we get to be so old, that our bodies look nothing like they do now, because I the man I want to spend my life with is the person in here,” she pressed on his chest, “and I don’t care bout what your body is capable of.”

He pulled her into a hug then. It was awkward as she had to lean over the bed to get to him, but Nesta didn’t care, not so long as she could wrap her arms around the man she loved and hear his heart beating in his chest. Because nothing was better than knowing the person you loved was alive and well.

They held onto each other for a long time, letting the tears fall, tears of happiness, of thanks, for what they were so grateful to have.

The moment was tender, at least until Cassian whispered in her ear, “I hope when my body is old and saggy, I can still get my dick up.”

“Cad,” Nesta snorted, “but I’ll love you regardless.”

“What about your job?” He asked as they finally let go of each other, Nesta heading for her handbag to trying and find some tissues to clean them both up.

“I spoke to Amren.”

“And?”

“And…The firm are officially taking the case of your community group, and a number of other community groups across Illyria. We’re working to bring proceedings against the government for unlawful sale of land, and against Spring Court Developments who brought the land for a rake of breaches of environmental law. The litigation is going to be long, and we wouldn’t put it past SCD to employ dirty tactics, so Amren thinks it would be a good idea to have someone up her monitoring things.”

She heard Cassian take a sharp intake of breath.

“Naturally, I volunteered myself.” She looked at him then, her smile bright. “My official secondment begins next week, and my first task is to locate suitable offices for the Illyrian branch of Amren, Archeron and Associates to open.”

“Nes…” Cassian reached out to pull her close to him again, tears refilling his eyes. “You’re incredible, you know that.”

“To our future Cass,” she whispered, pressing a kiss gently against his mouth.

“Our future, sweetheart.”

————

“You sure you want to do this?”

“One of my sisters is having a baby, the other is moving across the country to be with the guy she loves, this is small fry comparatively,” Feyre said looking up at Rhys with a grin. “Are you sure?”

Rhys laughed, “Oh Feyre, you’ve already been seared across my soul, it only seems fitting that you’re inked onto my body too.”

With that, they pushed open the door to the parlour, because what better way is there to say _I love you_ than matching tattoos?


	20. Epilogue

##  ~ _SIX MONTHS LATER_ ~

Azriel stood in a quiet corner of his apartment, looking at his family who had gathered to celebrate. 

Mere months ago, this apartment had been a barren, lonely place, but that was no longer. Now it was filled with friends and family, warmth and laughter, and love. And Azriel was so gloriously happy. 

“What do you think buddy?” He asked Bryaxis, sweeping him up into his arms as he ran past. “Ready to be a big brother?” 

The boy might have been Mor and Rita’s son, but he was Azriel’s flesh and blood. 

Byraxis squirmed in response, wanting to be put back on the ground so he could continue to run around like the terror he was. Poor Cassian was the perfect victim. With his compromised body he couldn’t escape the onslaught of tiny sticky fists the way the others could. Thankfully Cassian was more than happy to play along, using the couch cushions as a shield. 

As Azriel placed the boy on the floor, he had to smile with the memory of when Elain told him that she was pregnant. He had been so determined to love her and for them to be a family no matter who the father was, but deep down he was terrified that the baby wasn’t his and no matter what he did he would never be a real father. 

He possibly should have guessed, given the presence of Bryaxis, that he was, to quote Cass, _a fertile fucker_ , but still, he never had felt relief like it when the blood test confirmed that he was the father of Elain’s baby. 

_Their baby_. 

And how had it happened? 

Well...Who knew condoms had expiry dates?

Apparently the years of solitude between Mor and Elain, no matter how _hard_ they had been on Az, had been even tougher on the box of condoms in his bedside locker. The latex had been fundamentally compromised, allowing his army of swimmers to get to reach their target. 

There was a very small part of Azriel that purred with a very male satisfaction with the knowledge that he had managed to get a woman who had been told she wouldn’t be able to have children, pregnant. 

Of course, the reality had little to do with him, and more to do with all the incredibly hard work that Elain had put in to reclaim her health, to feed herself, after all the damage her terrible ex did. For that, Azriel would always be so proud of her.

He watched her now across the room, sitting on the couch, being lavished with attention, and presents by their friends and family. 

She complained to him that she looked like a whale, with her massive bump, but Azriel had never seen anything more beautiful in his entire life. She absolutely glowed, and Azriel was sure, he shimmered in return. 

————

“You’re making googley eyes at her,” Rhys smirked, as he came to join his friend in the corner, away from the women preening over baby things. 

Elain might have swept into Azriel’s life and changed many things for the better, but she was never going to get the guy to enjoy being the centre of attention. She had however been an amazing support to him after Azriel lead Velaris to the championship, and the spotlight was firmly shining on his friend. 

A month later, things had begun to quieten down, the baby really had impeccable timing, Rhys thought, to schedule its arrival during the off season. 

Azriel scoffed, “As if you’re any better yourself?”

Rhys’s smile turned genuine at the thought of his darling Feyre, “I never claimed to be any better.”

“We truly are suckers for these Archeron sisters, huh?”

“Seems that way.”

Rhys had to laugh, it like the three sisters had been made for his brothers and he. They fit together so well it was as if it had been destined for each other. 

Without knowing Rhys had bought Feyre’s paintings to decorate Azriel’s apartment, Azriel was now having a baby with one of Feyre’s sisters, and the other was living with Cassian. What a happily ever after for them all. One he thought they all deserved too. 

Following Az’s gaze over his shoulder, he turned to see the three sisters huddled together on the couch as Elain opened presents. 

He opened his Photogram to snap a picture, but the post that popped up on his feed caused him to freeze. 

“ _Gods._ ”

————

“Hey, I think you should see something,” Rhys said as he followed her into the kitchen. 

“What?” Feyre asked him, sidling up beside him to plant a kiss on his cheek. They had only been separated for a few minutes since he had left her on the couch to open baby shower gifts with Elain, but still, she had missed him. 

Putting his arm around her, allowing her to nuzzle into his side, Rhys tilted his phone screen in her direction. 

“Oh my Gods,” she grabbed the phone from him, bringing it closer to her face so she could get a closer look. “How…?” The question faded from her lips, but Rhys understood. 

“I guess I followed her before we went on that dreadful date, and then forgot about about it.” 

Feyre smiled at the memory, “You mean the night you stole me away for ice cream?” 

He chuckled, “Something like that.”

Feyre zoomed in on the picture. It had been posted by the user **high_priestess** and it showed her emerging from a church in a big puff white dress, while guests threw confetti. 

What was notable however was the man standing beside her. Dressed in a dark blue suit that showed off his tanned skin and long blond hair was none other than Tamlin. 

She scrolled to the caption below. 

_I promise to always be by your side_ **_Tamlin_the_Beast_ ** _Or under you. Or on top._

The laughter that spluttered from Feyre was unexpected, but relief flooded her. “They got married?”

“It would appear so.”

“Wow.”

“Indeed.”

“So I never have to worry about him ever again?”

“You never had to anyway.”

Feyre looked up at Rhys smiling down at her with those twinkling violet eyes. He was the most incredible boyfriend, so kind, so caring, so supportive. 

She had passed her probation, and was now a full time member of staff at the Velaris Gallery of Art, but Rhys had encouraged her to keep painting. Something which Feyre was grateful for as over the past few months she had found herself inspired. She had first filled Rhys’s apartment with canvasses, then his office. 

The latter was a smart move on his part, as some of his big clients had seen her work and had commissioned paintings...and for good money too.

Feyre thanked her lucky stars every day that she had found Rhys, for if she had not, she might never have known how wonderful a healthy relationship could really be. 

————

“All right kiddo, time to go do something else,” Nesta said as she lifted the small boy off her boyfriend. 

In the months since his accident Cassian was healing well. The minor injuries like the cuts and bruises had completely disappeared, even his broken ribs had stitched themselves back together. The doctors told him that his rehab was going extremely well. Indeed, the only reminder of what happened were the two physio-fracture boots he wore. 

He wasn’t able to move very far without assistance which made him, stretched out on the couch with his medical-boots propped up on the coffee table, the perfect sitting duck for a young child to clamber all over. 

Of course, Cassian, the big kid that he was himself, only encouraged it. 

He had been rough housing with the boy for hours now, and Nesta needed some time with her man. 

The boy, shocked that Nesta had pulled off Cassian, went running crying to his mothers, who were drunkenly regaling Elain with stories of his birth that Nesta had to get away from.

Cassian chuckled as she flopped down on the couch beside him, “You love making men cry, don’t you?”

She rolled her eyes, “I make boys cry, I make men weep.” 

Cassian’s big arm came around her pulling her in close to his side. She took a deep breath in, she loved the smell of him. 

“That you do sweetheart,” he said, nuzzling her neck, “that you do.”

Heat flooded Nesta. She had never been with someone she was so physically attracted to before. If it weren’t for his compromised position she would have pulled him off to the bathroom to escape the baby shower for a while.

Gods she loved her sisters, and she knew she was going to love her new nephew or niece more than anything, but being surrounded by all the baby things, the talk of giving birth, and the small noisy boy, she wasn’t sure if it was something she ever really wanted. 

Cassian though, he was her forever. She loved him so much, and the life they were slowly building together in Illyria…there was just one thing she wanted.

————

“So what do you think about all this then?” Cassian asked Nesta, his nose brushing against her jaw as he nuzzled her. 

_Gods_ he loved her so much, but as her hand lingered on his thigh he wished he could stand up, throw her over his shoulder, and take her off to the bedroom he used to stay in to have his way with her for a while. Unfortunately, he wasn’t really in a position to do that, and given the room was full of his friends and family he was just going to have to wait until later. 

He sighed.

“All this?” Nesta asked. 

“Marriage? Kids?”

“I don’t know if it’s for me.”

“Me neither…I like the peace and quiet.”

She laughed, “You’d make a good dad though.”

Cassian smiled, “You think?”

“Yeah, I was watching you with Byaxis.”

“That kid was trying my patience, I’m telling you.”

“You were smiling though.”

“I was gritting my teeth.”

Nesta laughed again, her hand still stroking up and down his leg. “I should have come and saved you sooner.”

“Yes, you should have.” He pressed a kiss against her neck. “I’ll forgive you.”

“Thanks.”

Her head tilted further, giving him more access to press kisses against her. He knew he had to be careful, if she started squirming in her seat from his touches, he was at risk of forgetting there were other people in the room. 

“You know,” he whispered, “the most fun part about having kids is making them.”

“Oh yeah?” Her voice dropped, the pitch deep and gravely.

“Yeah, so we better get lot’s of practice…in case we ever change our mind.”

Nesta pulled away from him then. When she turned to look at him her face was serious. “Actually, I’ve been thinking about adding to our family…”

Cassian’s heart sped up. “Oh?”

“Yeah…I was thinking, maybe we should get a dog? You know, it would help with your rehab and it would be good company up in the cabin and--.”

The grin that spread across Cassian’s face threatened to split his cheeks. “I would love to get a dog with you.”

“Really?” She asked. He stormy eyes bright. 

“Yeah.”

The matching smile that broke across Nesta’s face was dazzling. Cassian felt his chest swell. Capturing her face in his hands, he pressed his lips to hers, showing her just how much he loved the idea. 

_Fuck whoever was watching_. 

He was so gloriously happy. 

Him and his lady love were getting a dog. The three of them. A real family.

————

“They’re happy.”

Elain glanced across the couch, opposite her, Nesta and Cassian were locked in a passionate embrace of their mouths. She felt herself blush. “They’re a very…physical couple.”

Lucien chuckled. “That’s one word for it.”

Elain slapped his leg scoldingly. “Why are you still here anyway?” She asked him, rubbing her big belly. Her son or daughter was doing cartwheels. 

“I got caught talking to Az.”

Perhaps one of the most unexpected relationships to have developed recently was not a romantic one, but the platonic bromance that had sprung up between Lucien and Azriel. 

Although, given they were both relatively new to Velaris, with not many connections of their own in the city, perhaps it wasn’t all that surprising that they had gravitated to each other.

The two men met up at least once a week to grab a beer, watch a game, or even play golf. Lucien alone had done more to get Azriel out of the apartment than Elain ever could. 

She was just delighted the two men had each other. 

They were both wonderful, and had been incredible supports to her, Lucien as her friend, and Azriel as her boyfriend, throughout the whole pregnancy. She knew she wouldn’t have been able to do it without them. 

“What was her name again?” She asked Lucien. 

“Vassa.”

“Right well, you better hurry up and go, you don’t want to leave poor Vassa waiting on you.”

Lucien held up his hands in surrender, “Alright, alright, I’m going.”

Standing up from the couch, he pulled on his coat, but as he leaned in to kiss her goodbye, Elain whispered, “I have a really good feeling about her Luce.”

He smiled, “Me too.” 

He left soon after that, and Elain sat for a long while watching her friends and family move about the apartment, laughing, joking, telling stories.

They had thrown her the most beautiful baby shower, she felt incredibly grateful to have them all in her life...and soon there would be another one among them.

A year ago she would never have thought that she would be here. 

You just never know how much your life could change with one right swipe.


	21. Bonus Chapter (One)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Bet you never thought you’d see the reprise of this fic? Well, inspiration struck and I’m back with a bonus chapter. This chapter is heavily inspired by a *cough* video *cough* that I watched and thought was so beautiful that I just had to write it for Elriel. I hope you enjoy :)

“I feel like a whale,” Elain said as she shuffled into their bedroom that night. Her stomach was stretched out, seemingly miles in front of her.

She was only weeks away to give birth to the couples first child. A little boy, if the scans were to be believed.

Elain had loved every single moment of the pregnancy. Feeling her body expand and change as she grew a tiny human inside of her. The experience had allowed her to finally embrace her body, and love it for all the amazing things it did for her.

Of course Azriel had helped too.

The man had taken all the changes in his stride, doting on her by day, and worshiping her body at night. How could Elain ever feel anything less than the most beautiful woman in the room, when she had a man who looked at her the way he did. And under that gaze, Elain knew she was glowing.

Still, these last few weeks in pregnancy had been tough. Her body was so big, her skeleton ached, it was a struggle for her to walk, her ankles and feet had swollen, and it had been such a long time since she had seen her toes.

Azriel looked up at her from where he had been stretched out in bed reading. “You’re the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.”

Elain couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face at that, she knew he wasn’t lying. Still, she rolled her eyes jokingly. “You’re just saying that because I’m the mother of your child.”

“You’re the mother of my child and the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, how did I get to be so lucky?” He asked, with that shy smile that dazzled Elain every time it appeared.

She giggled at his flattery before, she plonked herself down on the bed. “Everything hurts.”

Azriel placed his book on the bedside table and snuggled up close to her, his hand coming to rest on her stomach. “I know honey, but it’s not for too much longer, and then we’re going to have a beautiful baby.”

She smiled up at Azriel, his face bright as he gazed down at her with such unabashed joy. He was still the same man she had met all those months ago, kind and caring, but gone was his sadness, his loneliness, replaced instead with joy and contentment. Elain’s chest swelled every time she looked at him, knowing that she was part of his newfound happiness. And what a gift it was for her, to be able to give him what he had longed for, for so long, a family.

They were going to be a family.

And that’s what she had to focus on.

“Would you like a massage?” Azriel asked her. He had been massaging her back most nights recently, and it had really helped with the ache. Elain also really enjoyed having his hands all over her, even if sex was the last thing on her mind right now.

“That would be amazing,” she sighed.

She felt Azriel roll to the other side of the bed, to get the massage oil out of the drawer, before he was back behind her, easing her nightdress off.

He positioned himself with his back against the headboard of their bed. Nestling her between his thighs, he eased her back against his chest.

Elain sighed, closing her eyes, she relaxed into the warmth of Azriel’s body. His big hands warm, and soft from the oil, rubbed gently at the knots in her shoulders.

His touch was magical. All those sports massages having thought him a thing or two. Elain promised herself she would return the favour once she was able to, although her technique might be more focused on covering his muscular body in slippery oil than massaging any sore spots.

“I love you,” he murmured against the top of her head.

“I love you too,” she breathed.

He chuckled at her blissed-out response. Elain could feel low rumbling in his chest and leaned even further into him.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, nuzzling at her ear.

Elain tipped her head to one side allowing him more access, hoping he could be encouraged to plant some kisses on her neck, but Azriel didn’t take the hint. Instead, she was left with the torture of feeling his hot breath against her skin but nothing more.

Even in the warmth of their bedroom, Elain felt her skin pebble and her nipples grow hard. It was then Azriel shifted behind her and she felt his arousal pressing against her.

“Az,” she whispered, but whatever protests she had died in her throat as Azriel’s oil slicked hands drifted from her shoulders down her chest to cup her heavy breasts.

They had grown so much over the months of her pregnancy, her once pale nipples had deepened in colour, her breasts bigger and rounder than they had ever been. Elain absolutely loved them. She felt so womanly.

And Azriel couldn’t get enough.

“These. Are. Spectacular,” he murmured against her ear, squeezing each one for emphasis.

Elain couldn’t help the moan that escaped her. She wriggled as best she could against him, to try and bring him some relief as she leaned back further, silently begging Azriel to kiss her neck.

This time, he did.

He pressed hot, wet, open mouth kisses to her neck as he continued to massage her breasts.

Before long, Elain was squeezing her legs together, trying to create some friction to relieve an aching of her own.

“Az,” she whispered again. Not in warning this time, but in a plea.

“Yes?” He purred against her ear, his hands still kneading and squeezing in that way that got her all worked up. It was agonisingly. He knew exactly what he was doing.

“Touch me.”

“I am.”

“No, touch me.”

“Where?”

His hands had stopped their gentle movements. He was teasing with her now and she hated it.

“You know where.”

“Tell me where you want me to touch, Elain,” Azriel purred again.

Unable to say the words, Elain grabbed one of his wrists, pulling his hand from her breast, she ran it down across her swollen belly which Azriel caressed with such care as his hand slid past, to settle between her legs.

“You want me to touch your pussy Elain?” He asked, his voice deepening further.

“Please,” she groaned, desperate for some relief.

Azriel’s hand squeezed her thigh, sending delicious tingles throughout her body. “Then spread your legs for me. Let me touch you.”

Elain was only happy to oblige, quickly hooking her legs over his own as they bracketed her, baring herself to him.

Azriel’s tongue clicked. “Needy girl.”

“Please,” she moaned again. Her hands came up to cover his own, one on her breast, the other on the one resting on her thigh, urging it to where she really wanted it.

Azriel acquiesced, the hand on her breast resuming its kneading, the other trailing up her thigh.

He swore against her neck as he felt her wetness. “Elain, sweetheart.”

“Azriel!” It was a plea.

“Whatever you want sweetheart, whatever you want.”

His fingers spread her wetness up and down the length of her, making sure she was ready for him. It was almost too much for Elain, to be teased like this but not touched, not truly. She squirmed. He pinched her nipple in response and Elain moaned, arching her back against him.

It was then that his fingers found her clitoris, and Elain’s body surrendered to her touch.

Azriel’s fingers worked in small, fast circles. His hand on her breast alternated between kneading and pinching. While his mouth was back on her neck.

Every touch was designed to bring her higher and higher.

Elain had never met a man who could make her feel like this. Who she trusted so completely to take her to orgasm that she could give herself over to him, totally relax, and soak up the feel of him touching her.

Her breathing changed then, no longer slow and deep, but short and shallow as he built her up.

Azriel eased off slightly, holding her right on the edge of as long as he dared.

But he had infinitely more patience than she did. Soon Elain’s legs were twitching, waiting for the rush of release that was to come.

“Please,” she began muttering again, “please Azriel.”

“What do you want Elain?” He asked.

“Please.”

“Please what?”

“Please.”

“Say it and you can have it.”

“Please let me cum.”

Another delicious chuckle left him, as Azriel’s hand dropped from her breast to join the other one between her legs.

While his right hand continued rubbing torturously at her clit, with his left, he pressed two fingers inside her, curling them upwards until he was massaging that most wondrous spot.

It only took a second for the tension in Elain to build to its tightest point before the orgasm crashed into her. 

“Fuck,” she cursed on a long exhale, as her body when rigged. The tremors in her lower belly causing her legs to pinwheel, as the orgasm washed over her.

Azriel’s hands didn’t stop consuming her with overwhelming pleasure.

It was only when her breathing became ragged and her body loose did he gently let her go.

She missed the warmth of his hand against her, but Elain’s eyes fluttered open in time to look up and see him licking her wetness from his fingers.

Gods it was erotic.

She wanted to tell him how sexy he was, but words failed her.

His hazel eyes slid to hers, they were sparkling with satisfaction. “Feeling better?” He asked her.

“I think so,” she managed to reply after a long moment, “But we might need to do it again, just to be sure.”


End file.
